- Gender and Relationships
Trying to conceive after tubal ligation
Our first appointment
Ken and I went to the fertility specialist last Wednesday, and this is how it went. We had to drive a little over an hour to get there, and I just looked out the car window feeling nervous, excited, and a little scared. once we got there, and got checked in there was another half hour wait to see the doctor. Finally the time had come, and the nurse took us back. We were both on the edge of our seats ready to hear how we were going to start the process if having a baby together. The doctor explained everything to us in great detail, and the excitement was growing inside of me. She even told us that we could get started on the process right away which made us both happy. There is a lot of testing that has to go on before the actual IVF can take place, and some hormone shots and meds to get the timing just right. Next we were sent to the nurse, she answered all of the questions we forgot to ask the doctor, and set our first appointments. My husband actually has his first appointment set for this coming Wednesday and my first appointment will be mid April. We were so excited at this point we didn't know what to do.Our dreams of having a child together were starting to come true. Next we were to speak with the financial adviser and go over what insurance would and wouldn't cover...that's when our emotions changed.
As I said above this is where everything changed for us. The financial adviser informed us that our insurance wouldn't cover our IVF because I had my tubes tied back in 2006 when I had my second son with my ex-husband. I sat there in disbelief, and had her call our insurance company one more time just to be sure. It was true, wanting no explanation of why I had gotten the tubal ligation, they won't cover the procedure. We were in shock and a little stunned. If insurance would have covered us, we would have only had the $20 co-pay for each visit. We could afford that, but not the whopping $18,000-$25,000 they are now wanting us to pay out of pocket. We don't have that kind of money just laying around. The $2,000 they want to hold a date for beginning the IVF cycle, we could make that happen. Coming up with the rest before the cycle starts, no I don't see that happening. Needless to say we went home a little disappointed, and I was emotionally torn up about it all.
Ken and I
The reason I had my tubal ligation
So I told you all I had a tubal ligation after the birth of my second son, I had good reasoning. It wasn't because I was done having kids. So I don't know if anyone read my hub about domestic violence, you should if you want to read all or most of all that I dealt with my first marriage. Let's talk about Austin and Tyler. Austin was born in 2005, and weighed 10 lbs 4 oz, he was an emergency c-section. After having Austin my husband (at the time) and I started talking about having another child. We wanted a girl, and did all of the little tricks on the internet to help the possibility of having one. On Austin's first birthday we invited family to dinner, and as I read the card we had gotten for him out loud it said Happy Birthday big brother. Our parents were shocked and excited. After everything settled down I guess my husband started getting nervous and told me I needed to have an abortion, and how we couldn't afford another child. I told him not a chance, and everything would be fine. A few days later my husband held me against our kitchen wall, and repeatedly punched me in the stomach a pushed hard on it. The next morning I had a miscarriage, and went to the hospital. He went with of course so I couldn't tell them what had really happened. I have never gotten over the loss of that baby. About a month later I got pregnant again, this time with my "I'm sorry" baby. I know it sounds crazy that I stayed, but at the time I didn't believe in divorce, and I thought this was the way my life would be forever. Nine months later Tyler arrived, another sweet little boy weighing 7 lbs 9.6 oz, via c-section, and at that time my husband had already told me I had to have a tubal ligation. No ifs, ands, or buts that was the way it was going to be and I had no choice. The doctor asked us if we were sure, and of course he was at every appointment with me, no changing my mind without his knowledge. Also at the time of Tyler's delivery he was in the room for the c-section, there was NO way to back out.Afterwards I felt very sad and empty inside, but he didn't care not one little bit. Fast forward to now, my husband and I are wanting to have a child together, and it's seeming a little impossible at this time. We recently got full custody of Austin and Tyler (I will tell how that all came about once I know it won't effect our case against my ex), and my husband is in the process of adopting the boys. So in the end, I have been lucky enough to start life over for the boys and I, and give them a man that is a great father to them. He loves them like they're his own, and he loves me unconditionally. He works hard, grabbing every bit of overtime he can to provide for us, and all I want to give him is a child that has both of our DNA. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to give him this, even if I have to save every last extra penny that sits in this house.
Have you had a tubal ligation and regretted it?
Have you had a tubal ligation and regretted it?
Dad and his boys!
My husband and I recently found a doctor that is willing to look in to doing a tubal reversal for us!!!! So I had been doing some research, and I came across a facility that does tubal reversals. We will have to pay $175 for our fist consultation, and if we decide to proceed it will cost around $5,000. That is a little more attainable than the $20,000 for the IVF procedure. Our Go Fund me account has only at this time made us $60 towards our IVF fund, which is greatly appreciated and we couldn't be more grateful. Please help us at least raise enough for our first consultation. I will update everyone on the results of that consultation and all the details of the procedure. A first hand look at the process from a person with no medical background. That means you'll understand what I'm saying unlike some of what you read online, and the jargon your doctor uses. Thank you for you're support and interest!