Two Versions ..........
TO: MOMKNOWSBEST @HOTMAIL.COM
Hope everything is well with you. I'm so glad you've started to check your email; it makes life a lot easier! I know you’re not happy with my move but mom; this is something I had to do for me. I have to tell you this place is something else, the people here are great!
My friends took me to the desert yesterday. You won't believe how beautiful the desert can be. While everyone sat and ate I decided to take a walk around.
As I walked through the sand dunes alone I had flashbacks of that night. I had to push each foot hard into the sand to be able to walk properly, it was the weirdest feeling. I could feel the warmth of the sand through my leather shoes. I picked up the sand in my hands and as each grain slipped out of my hands I thought more about the haunting memories of that night. One by one the memories slipped out of my brain the way sand did from my hands. At that moment a falcon flew over my head and made the weirdest sound. I think the falcon felt a connection with me, in that one minute we created a bond.
Yeah, Yeah I know you're going to say "There goes Dana again with her philosophical talk, but mom for the first time in my life I feel peaceful. I think, I now know what you meant when you said that "If you look at the world as a whole we are just a speck of dust, but each speck is special and comes together to make this universe beautiful".
Love you lots,
Dana(sent via email)
"Good Morning Miss Andrews, how are you today?"
"You won't believe what a great day I had! Yesterday, my friends took me took the desert for the first time"
"Wow that sound like fun"
"More than fun it was therapeutic. I feel like a new woman"
"Tell me about it"
"Well to begin with when I reached the desert, it reminded me of the dark room where I was raped. Like the room the desert seemed so vast and dangerous that honestly I was scared. When all my friends started to barbecue I decided to wander a bit. I wanted to face the desert and the room , tell them both I wasn’t afraid anymore. So I kept walking until my friends were out of site. I then stomped my feet on the sand, as if I was smashing his face, I stomped as many times as he pushed in me hurting me with each thrust. I could feel the heat of the sand or was it his breath I don’t know. I then sat down and cried.'
"I … I then did something weird. I sat down and held some sand in my hand and one by one I dropped each grain back to where it came from. Putting each second of the memory back where it belonged. I realized I also deserved to go back to the happiness and innocence I had before it happened. I even had a conversation with a falcon; I told the bird if he ever sees the guy tell him to go to hell".