Have you ever had a friend which comes to you with all the drama of her relationships?, Well if you have you can relate to this one. I have a friend in which I asked her if I could write a book on her and she gave me permission, So here is where I will start. When we first met. I thought she was a normal person. I quickly found out she was anything but. I was even amazed at some of her actions. Anyway, She was about to marry this guy. She asked if I would like to be in her wedding. She already had 4 kids a single mom and living off of the system. I agreed to be in her wedding. The Wedding was simple nothing fancy, After we shared wine with her groom and the other person which was in the wedding. I thought everything was great. I was happy for her. Two Weeks later she come to see me and she was a wreck. She had turned herself into a private detective and began to stalk her new husband. She was sure he was cheating on her. (which he wasn't) So she decided to follow him, Checked his pockets when he fell to sleep at night. She found numbers and called them. She spied on him in ever waking moment. She became obsessed. She began to lose weight from not eating and she became enraged!. I told her she should seek help from a professional. She never did though. This went on for sometime until he found out what she was up to. There was a big fight. She stabbed him and the police was called out and Now, she has a criminal record. My advice: 1st if you can't trust don't get into a relationship. 2nd of all, If you find yourself watching someone because you can't trust them. You really should not be with them. Trust is the number one key in a relationship, And for goodness sake! Don't in criminate yourself just because you can't control your jealousy. You and your children are the one whom will suffer!
In a relationship, everyone wants to be respected. everyone wants to be trusted and everyone wants to be loved. Now with this in mind, going into a relelationship with someone is easy in the beginning. To keep it going sometimes get difficult.
After all the drama with her new husband and the police, they continued to stay married. She told me she was working on trusting him. I believed her. I'm sure he did as well. She seem to be going on day to day normally. The only thing is she had him call her every 30 minutes whenever they weren't together. If he goes to work she expected him to constantly call her. He had to be home directly after work. If he wanted to go out with friends; she had to be included, no exceptions. She wanted complete control of his time, whereabouts and him! I told her this is not normal. He seemed to comply with her rules for a while. Late, one night. I received a call from her. She was outside in the woods hiding from her husband! Apparently, they were fighting again. She when through his cell phone and found several numbers, one of them she discovered was a woman's number. She called and the woman told her, that her She only talked to her husband about trading work hours and nothing more. She then confronted him. He tried to explain to her that the woman was a co-worker and they only talked about work related issues and that he got her number as well as other co-workers numbers for switching days for work. She didn't believe him or the woman. The next day she went to the woman's job, which was his job too. Just to talk and to see what she looked like. She drilled her of course and she tried to get as much information about what she thought was their relationship. She confronted her husband again when he came home from work. He told her to drop this because there was nothing for her to worry about. She didn't of course. She kept right on badgering him about it. This went on for a year or so. In the mean time the husband and the woman became closer because she had given them something to talk about. Their relationship(the husband and the woman) grow into one, because of her insecurities. She had no respect for him, her, nor herself. She made them both lose there jobs, by the constant interruptions at work. She started following him again. She found what she was looking for. He was at the woman's new job talking and hang out at the store she (the woman)worked at.
Again, Respect, and trust is important in a relationship. I believe if she didn't make such a big deal about it. Things would not have gone that far. I am not saying for women to sit back and let their spouse cheat on them, no way! not by a long shot! but you have to try to believe what is said, then if there are more things pointing to a possible outside relationship then talk it over and try to find out about it. you can't go calling every number in you spouses cell phone in order to find out the dirt on him, Following him around, going to strange women and discussing your marital problems. If nothing is happening then you would look foolish going around doing these things. I am not saying men don't cheat and I am not saying not to keep your guard up. I'm just saying be reasonable; with this type of behavior, I would not be surprised if she's alone in the end.
Well, time went on and he left her for that woman! I got a statement from him, He said he loved his wife and respected her, but he felt as if he was not as important to her. He felt like a caged animal, with no freedom. He could not go out with the boys. He couldn't even work a full day with out her coming to his job. She was telling all his friends things which was private in the marriage. He found things in his food in which she had put in them. Such things as sleeping pills, tranquilizers and strange powders, sometimes in his drinks she prepared for him. He was arrested several times because the police believed her over him. She lied to them to make it look as if he was an abuser of her and drugs. He could not trust her after he discovered she was capable of doing these things. He was afraid to go to sleep at night. He started discussing these thing with the woman and they became closer. She was a shoulder to cry on sort to speak. She seemed more understanding then the wife. This is why he started to want to be with the other woman. Saying, "His wife drove him into the other woman arms."
I'm no expert, but I think if she just trusted him alittle, it would have been a different turn out. Yes, he was weak;but he also had been through an ordeal. On the outside looking into the relationship, if you knew nothing of it. No one would ever guess that this was going on. Men and Women alike has to earn trust and trust their significant other to a certain extent or at least try!