- Gender and Relationships
1 – Entitlement
Most people believe that they are entitled to things that they grew up with, but on the contrary this isn’t the case. You are not entitled to clean water or a roof over your head, but you have it, you’re not entitled to it, because you can lose it. At any moment your rent check could bounce and all of those happy amenities can be taken from you. It’s a terrible thing really, but it’s how the world works. At any moment you can be thrust into a third world living situation, instead of pouting over not getting a new 4kTV, be happy with what you have. Most people cannot grasp that the amenities in their lives are not guaranteed. Understand that and you’ll have a deeper respect for what you consider the basics.
Everyone has emotion, and since you cannot lose all emotion you are completely entitled to how you feel. The biggest problem is people understanding that though they have the right to their emotion, so doesn’t everyone else. You have the right to be angry at your significant other, and they have the right to be angry at you. There are over 7 billion people on the Earth, and every single one has the right to their emotions. Their experiences may fuel their reactions, but they still have the right to them, no matter who you are.
3 – Good and Bad
These words are just descriptors of your experiences. Your perspective based on your reactions, your past, and your emotions tied together. ‘Good’ can be helping an old women cross the street, or it could be killing a neighbor’s dog because your mother can’t sleep through its yapping. Good is based on perception, most people would see that second option as wrong, but in the moment, it’s not hard to understand why someone would believe killing a dog to be good. Bad is also based on perception. Its bad to steal from someone, but it also may be bad to help a homeless person, they could use your money for drugs after all, it could get them killed right? Good and Bad are experiences subject to your perception, most people will agree with different situations being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ due to the human need to differentiate moral right and wrong, but the Idea of Good and Bad is based only on your point of view and the situation at hand.
4 – Mindset
From good and bad we learn that someone can do a bad thing for a good reason. This makes for a great villain, but stepping away from writing you learn that Mindset and Point of view is everything. For example, if two twin boys were raised by an abusive father, one may abuse his children and blame his father, and the other may completely avoid all violence, also blaming the father; two completely different outcomes depending on the mindset and point of view of the twins. You can decide, especially at a young age, to be different or similar than others, what path you’re going to take, and if your moral sense of right or wrong is going to be determined by the people around you or if you’re going to take charge of your life, and figure it out for yourself.
5 – Identity
This is something you simply know. From a young age those that believe they were supposed to be the opposite gender will be alike to that opposite gender regardless of action by the parents. It’s a definitive section of you as a person, one you can’t change and can’t control. If you’re attracted to males go after them, females, go after them. IF you feel you should be one way when you’re another then feel and act and be that way. You are you, and as long as you’re not harming yourself or others your happiness is what matters. Identification isn’t only gender based though, people need labels, that’s why we continue to invent them, so label yourself, but in ways you want to be labeled in. Writer, artist, scientist, map maker, mathematician, gay, straight, BI, Male to Female, and any other possible option. You are you, and since no one can take that from you, you are entitled to being yourself. You’re going to label yourself, and other people will label you as well, all you need to do is make sure those labels are ones that you want.
6 – Personality traits
According to the Myers Briggs Personality test there are 13 different kinds of personalities. I fall under INFP, super creative and caring even to the point of my own downfall. This is only one, and if you take this test you’ll be sure to understand yourself and be able to perceive the world with more clarity. There are plenty of different personalities, and the people around you are going to fall into those categories, learning about the types and the people around you will help you understand them on a deeper level.
7 – How much can you control?
You can control who you are, what you do, what you can try to do, and how you work, but other than yourself everything is out of control. You’re a skeleton piloting meat on a rock hurling through space so quickly that your existence is comparable to a single moment in time. You can’t control anything, and that is the most beautiful thing in existence. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and since we’re thinking this largely, everything is the small stuff. Your bones will break, you will feel pain and joy will come knocking on your door, enjoy it, because your life is short. Figure out what you want to do and do it with every fiber of your being. Be happy, be free, be you, and just be.