ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Understanding Women: What Men Should Know When Women Open up and Share

Updated on June 21, 2017

Men and Women are very different in many ways. When a woman opens and shares things to a man, what does she expect him to do, know and understand? Here are some insights into this matter to help a man understand his girlfriend or wife and to better communicate and have a great relationship.

1. We have heard from many well known relationship authors that, When a women shares a problem, she does not want you to fix it, she wants you to listen. This statement may or may not be true What does this statement mean?

First of all, it means when she shares about stress at work, at home, the children, conflicts, friendships, she does not want you to fix it. Why!!! She wants you to understand how she is feeling about the problem. Is she disappointed, angry, sad, frustrated?

So, men, First, you need to understand why she is sharing. It is not because she needs your help with the actual problem, as yet. She wants you to understand how she feels about something that is bothering her. It is very important for you to understand her negative feelings about a problem. It’s her feelings she is trying to convey and have understood, more than the problem itself.

WHAT YOU SHOULD NOT DO

Do not talk her out of her feelings, or tell she is overeacting. Do not filter out her feelings to get to the problem itself. The issue is not the problem, but talking out her feelings and bringing some resolution and peace.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO

You need to listen, affirm and sympathize with her feelings. You are actually helping her this way, the emotional problem toward the actual problem would be somewhat resolved.

WHEN DO YOU APPLY THE MR. FIX IT NATURE

When it comes to car problems, plumbing problems, home repairs, toilet overflowing, garage is a mess or anything that is broken, she does not want you to only hear her negative feelings about it, but she does want you to actually fix it OR find someone who will. You need to discern when to apply the ‘Mr. Fix' strategy

2. When she wants to talk about the relationship, she is not criticizing you or attacking you. She just wants to share her feelings and discuss things. Do not get defensive or take everything personally or assume you messed up,or you never please her or do everything right in her eyes. That may not be issue at all. Resist the tendency to say those things and believe the worst when she brings up about the relationship. You need to listen to what she has to say first and then make your judgment.

3. When she brings up an old hurt or wound from the past, she is not always bitter and holding on to a grudge, but this is her way of processing through it and her way of resolving the matter so she can finally let it go.

You can help her by allowing her to talk through these issues and listen to her. You can give her a hug and encouragement she needs.


A Clip from the Author, Shaunti Feldhahn

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Esenbee profile image

      Esenbee 

      6 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      Very nice hub :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)