- Gender and Relationships»
Unwanted house guest? Honesty is the best policy
Its been a LONG three months but the friend we invited to our home as a favour has finally left to his new home.
It has been a while since I have written an article on Hubpages and this is mainly due to the ‘guest’ that took over my home, my sanctuary. The guest took the saying mi casa su casa a little too literally. Not only did I lose my personal space and almost my mind in some instances but I had a realisation that I enjoy my own company and without it I almost lost my mind.
The living room, once my haven after a long day at work had been turned into my worst nightmare. Walking through the front door there he would be sat at the table, playing online games, the constant sound of the mouse clicking, the sporadic dissatisfaction of losing a game for the nth time. This ‘routine’ has been the bane of my life.
His attitude to life was unfathomable, he would never lift a finger, and on the occasion he would cook, it would be a dash to the kitchen and then back to the computer to check that he hadn't missed anything in the one second he was away. He did pay rent but not enough to cover food and would therefore help himself to all the food and drinks in the fridge and cupboard and expect them to be replenished.
If you ever find yourself in this situation, I have learnt from experience to be honest, and to explain to the person that their presence is causing an issue and it may be time to leave. It is important to find your inner voice before they become a permanent fixture and you are treated like a doormat. Here are a few ideas but from experience honesty is the best policy!
It is important to understand what their plans are from the start, you do not want to be in the situation where they have told you they will be staying for two weeks, and three months later they have not left. I found asking every evening would irritate him and he eventually made the call and had a set day to leave.
It is really difficult not to reach boiling point. I did a number of times, and had to leave the house as I was about ready to wring his neck. Its best to calm down and think about how you want to approach the situation, and how much you value their friendship before heading in full steam ahead. OK so they will then get the hint and leave, which would solve your problem but it could be the end of your friendship.
Having researched on this subject, (in the hope that it would enlighten me and find the solution) I came across a number of articles suggesting removing incentives such as the internet, not involving them in social occasions and not cleaning the house for weeks to encourage them to leave.
Personally, I don't think this is the right way to address the situation - be honest. If there is anything I have learnt from this experience is to speak your mind. I find it difficult to be confrontational and quite happily let situations become out of hand before I find the confidence to say what I want to say.
The best suggestion I would have is not to open your home so willingly and ensure that there are firm rules in place before entering into the agreement.
There is the old saying that company after three days stinks....