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Valentine's Day Gifts for Him: Playful & Sexy

Updated on February 11, 2011

What is a Valentine's Day Gift

First let’s consider what a gift is. A gift is supposed to be something for the other person. That means you’re supposed to pick out something he will like, not something you like. Think selflessly.

Since it’s a Valentine’s Day gift, it’s supposed to have a certain edge: it's supposed to be romantic or sexy. Something you’d give for Father's Day or a birthday may not be the best choice for a Valentine’s Day hit. Like Halloween, this is a specific kind of holiday. That set of beer mugs he wants for his Tiki Bar? Great Father's Day gift. Tickets to a hockey game? Birthday gift. Make Valentine's an expression of your attraction to him, and his desire for you. 

How & Why Your Idea of Romance is Different From His

He doesn’t want silk boxers with pink hearts on them. He doesn't want the lovey dovey Vermont Valentine's Day Teddy Bear. He doesn’t want to watch Sleepless in Seattle. Your idea of a romantic private night is most likely not his.

Men and women approach romance differently. Much the way they approach relationships differently. Women tend to be headier, more ethereal. Men tend toward being more animal and instinctual. For example, if a woman meets a man she finds very interesting, she will most likely become attracted to him. Whereas, if a man finds a woman attractive, he will connect on a guttural level. Then and only then does she has the capacity to become interesting to him.

There are exceptions, there are women that are very base and animal. There are men that are very sensitive. But you don’t write the rule based on the exceptions.

Men find their romance immersed in their desires. It’s a very basic and honest way of mating. This should be something you’d like to share with your man as his partner. It should be something you celebrate with him.

For some reason instead of finding the flatter in his desire, some women fight their man’s way of feeling and expressing. They either ignore it or make him feel like he has to change to her way of expression.

If you don’t meet your man where he lives, he’s still going to have the same instincts and desires, he’s just not going to be sharing them with you.

There should be a healthy balance of you and him in your relationship. You should find that balance long before you marry. Some couples are very physical and free. Some aren’t. And that’s fine – there is no right and wrong. There’s just the two of you. As long as the two of you are both satisfied and feel accepted and validated, then whatever you do or don’t do together is your business alone.

How Far Along is the Relationship?

A night of sensuality is a great idea if your relationship has reached that point of sharing intimacy. If this romance is new, Valentine's Day is a great way to discover each other. Exploring the things that will tickle both of you will be fun and bonding.

A fun mix of toys and sexy items will be a great icebreaker and evening maker. It will show him that maybe you don't know all about what turns him on, but that you're willing to learn. You're willing to celebrate his desires and explore your sensualities together. Fun items might include massage oils, some soft porn playful DVD's, a feather, fuzzy handcuffs, edible panties for you, a silk scarf for a blindfold or... anything else you want a silk scarf for and a can of whip cream. Always a bottle of wine and a copy of the Kama Sutra are fantastic ways of saying, "How you doin'?"

It goes without saying that you don't want to give mixed messages. Don't give your guy a box of flavored condoms if you aren't ready to sleep with him. My fun-love suggestions are for adults only, in relationships, and only when they are mutually ready to get down and dirty.

If you're farther along in your romance, a sexy gift basket is an excellent idea to put a little zig back in the zag. Your item choices can be a little more specific because you already know what he's into.

Got a little cash to splurge for the big V Day? Why not rent one of those crazy hotel rooms for the night. Heart shaped bed, champagne glass tub, mirrors on the ceiling. You're ruffling your nose saying, oh gawd. But I guarantee you, he'll think it's fun. You can't take these things too seriously.

In the economic crunch of today’s world, you and your mate may discuss gifts ahead of time. Maybe you decide to put a dollar limit on it, or maybe you decide to just do cards this holiday so you can afford some home upgrades or debt paydown. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as you both agree.

However, you could add a little romance and appreciation for your mate if you include doing something for each other for free. Exchange home-made gift certificates from each other. “Good for a one hour massage", "Good for one breakfast in bed.” You can get very creative, very sexy, and even dirty.

Another thing you could do even if you agree not to spend any money on V-Day, is to plan a romantic evening at home. Get grandma to take the kids, shut off the phones, and let it be about the two of you. A little candle light, a little music. Cook together. Maybe you could make something that’s meaningful to the two of you. Talk. Listen. Hold hands and be affectionate. And don't worry about the sofa fabric ;)

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was written by Veronica for Hubpages. If you are reading it elsewhere it has been stolen. All text is original content by Veronica, all photos are used with permission, all videos are courtesy of


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