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Victims Of Narcissistic Abuse Wanted

Updated on October 28, 2019
sparkster profile image

Marc Hubs, author of "Reflections Of NPD" is a writer/researcher on the mind, science, psychology/psychiatry, metaphysics and consciousness.

Are you or anyone you know a victim (or former victim) of narcissistic abuse?

If so, your help is wanted for a new book in which you may have your say. This book, entitled Victims Of Narcissists Speak Out, is an opportunity for you to share what you know about narcissistic abuse, your experiences, your knowledge, your advice and anything else you would like to share with the public so that they understand more about what victims go through, the devastating effects it has on the health of victims and things about narcissistic abuse that are not well known and which you would like more people to know about.

As a victim of narcissistic abuse you may be aware of tactics and techniques used by narcissists which are not common knowledge which you wish more people would understand - this book gives you the opportunity to explain to the public (and to mental health professionals) inside information about what really goes on between narcissists and their victims. I personally believe that is no-one better to provide information about narcissistic abuse than those who have experienced it themselves, especially long term.

After writing and publishing numerous articles and one ebook on the topic, I feel that writing a new book, Victims Of Narcissists Speak Out, is necessary to provide a better understanding to not just the general public and other victims but also to psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, counselors and anyone else in the mental health field. I feel that there is no-one better to inform them of what narcissistic abuse is, how it works, tactics and techniques used by narcissists and the negative and damaging effects it has on the health of victims mentally, physically and emotionally.

Unfortunately, as I have discovered myself, even when talking to mental health professionals, the term "mental abuse" is seldom recognized - that is, when I mention the term "mental abuse" they look at me with a blank stare not really understanding what it means or what it is, whereas if I say the term "emotional abuse" they are more accepting.

I want this to change. I want them to understand that mental abuse is a real phenomenon which can have devastating effects on the minds of those who are exposed to it. I see no better way of getting it across than to release a book in which victims can express themselves by explaining what was done to them and/or sharing their stories while revealing things about narcissism and what it entails which is not common knowledge - things that they have learned from direct experience which are not very well known or understood.

When describing the extremes of narcissistic abuse, many people who are unaware of it tend to take certain claims with a pinch of salt - the narcissists tactics and behaviours are so outrageous that the average person dismisses claims of abuse which gives the narcissist the defense of plausible denial - narcs know this and it's why they do what they do excessively.

This needs to change, people need to become more accepting of how narcissistic abuse works and how extreme it really is instead of not taking the claims of victims seriously enough. I believe that coming together and forming an army of (former) victims is a way of getting the details of our stories and experiences out there so that more people (including victims and health professionals) can understand the extremes of this form of abuse better, so that we can all be better prepared to deal with it when necessary.

So, if there are crafty tactics or secret techniques your narc used on you, this book will give you the opportunity to expose them. Or you may simply want to get your story out there for people to see or you may want to warn others to look out for certain behaviours you have picked up on.

Whatever your situation, if you are a victim (or former victim) of narc abuse, this book is an opportunity to express yourself and to explain what bothers you the most about your experiences with narcissism. If you want to get involved you can either comment on this article with the details of your story, or your advice, or abuse tactics used on you or anything else you feel relevant and which you would like to get out so that we can all understand NPD better.

Alternatively, you can message me privately through Facebook with any content you would like to have published in the book. Let's get together to form this army of survivors and get the truth about malignant narcissism out there, so that we can all understand it better and learn how to deal with it effectively.


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    • profile image


      14 months ago

      Marc please email me, we need to talk.

    • Isivwe Muobo profile image

      Farrah Young 

      14 months ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Although I'm not a victim, I know someone who is and the torture she went through is not something she'd wish on even her enemy.

      This book is such a great idea as it won't just be a succour to suffering victims, but will also be an outlet for others with buried pain inside.

      I hope you get enough people to speak out to make this a reality.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James MizBejabbers 

      14 months ago from Beautiful South

      I'm back with another question. Do you think there is any difference between emotional abuse and mental abuse? I've been thinking about it and wonder if mental abuse could be when the person abuses their subject by degrading them: "You are worthless," "you are so dumb," etc. while emotional abuse isn't always an intentional degradation? An example of that would be withholding necessities and support to the person to the point that it becomes abuse? like a very stingy parent or a spouse who controls the purse strings. If so, what about the parent who forces a strait-laced religion onto the child until it warps them emotionally and causes them to be fearful of normal relationships with friends and even dating or marriage?

      It would be hard to draw the line between the two because they quite often go hand in hand. It is all a matter of control.

      I'm still looking for that book, and I'm afraid it is packed away in the attic. I know I didn't dispose of it because I paid $40.00 for it in 2002 when I took the short course.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      14 months ago from Chicago

      What would be even more interesting is to find out why people are attracted to narcissistic people to begin with!

      Nothing happens until you say "yes" to someone.

      Most of us have heard "Nice guys finish last."

      However no one has ever heard of the "lonely narcissist", "bad boy", "gangster", "diva", a-hole/jerk. Do you think that's a coincidence? No! People are attracted to narcissistic people!

      Oftentimes narcissists have "something" going for themselves such as being extremely good looking, talented, popularity/fame, riches, or supreme confidence/coolness which causes others to (want to be connected to them) and bask in their limelight.

      They figure if he/she is "special" and they choose to be their friend or mate it must mean they too are also "special".

      However once they realize he/she will never see them as being their equal and is dismissive of their feelings they blame the narcissist for luring them into the relationship.

      Everyone either wants to be a "star" or hang out with someone they believe is a "star". Eventually they get tired of being a "fan".

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our boundaries and "deal breakers".

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The choice is up to us! Suffering is optional.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      14 months ago from United Kingdom

      Thanks for the comment MizBejabbers, I will check out your article - with your permission, if it's suitable, I may feature the article in the book as long as your happy for me to do so - you would be credited as the writer of course, it may help promote your written content online so thank you for the suggestion.

      I haven't really set any deadline for receiving content or writing the book, there's no rush as this project is going to take some time anyway and I'll continue to consider content right up until the writing is finished.

      As for mental abuse, I don't really know why it's not understood or accepted, victims of it know just how damaging and painful it is - I guess most people including mental health professionals think that everybody has their own mind and that they cannot be mentally abused unless they allow it which isn't quite true. The movie Gaslight is a good example of mental abuse.

      I'm going to talk more to mental health professionals about mental abuse because more awareness is needed and people need to know and understand how and why it happens. I think I need to write more articles about it, I want people to take it more seriously than it is because it's very serious and can cause a lot of mental pain and suffering and can lead to victims suffering with many serious mental illnesses as a result.

      If you do remember the name of that book and the author, please do come back and let me know what it is.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James MizBejabbers 

      15 months ago from Beautiful South

      Very interesting solicitation. What kind of deadline are you citing? I may have a few comments for you because my first marriage was to a narcissist. I know we can't promote our hubs here, but without publishing a link, I will tell you that my Mother's Day hub is a prime example of one of my experiences. If you are interested in what a narcissist will do to his wife on her first Mother's Day, I would give you permission to include it.

      I'm curious, why do you think that "emotional abuse" gets the attention of professionals, while they blow off "mental abuse"? There is a school of thought that may explain it. I have the book, and if I can find it, I'll email you the name and author. It posits that a person's psyche (for a better terminology until I can find the book) comprises a combination of two or more of these three traits to make three: emotional, physical, and intellectual. I was tested by one of their experts at the short course I took and tested out as "intellectual, physical, intellectual," or it may have been "intellectual, intellectual, physical." The order is important. Dr. "Blank" said I was not influenced by emotion. So is it possible that they can't relate to "mental abuse" but to "emotional abuse" because "mental" isn't in their toolbox for the category of abuse?


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