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Want sex, but don’t feel like initiating? Six steps to seduce your man without being the one who initiates sex.

Updated on February 13, 2013
Kacie A Ingram profile image

"Koach" Kacie - Lover of life, self-improvement, big hair, leather, lace, & adrenaline!


Complete Confidence, LLC
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Seduce your man with these six steps.

Step #1 - While relaxing at night, wear something you feel cute or sexy in.

Once you are both home for the night don’t go for those trusty sweat pants and sweat shirt completed with cozy socks and slippers. While you may feel comfy and cozy, do you feel sexy? Usually the two are not compatible, but you can be both.

Simply wear a cotton nightie or nightgown; fitted cotton/spandex pants (even yoga pants) or shorts and a cute tank top or fitted tee (short or long sleeve). You can still be comfortable, but not look like a bum.

Don’t forget to match. While your man may not notice, most likely you will. You have already gone through the effort of “dressing” up your night wear; you may as well match too. You will feel better (at least I do).

Step #2 - Sit near one another.

While personal space may be your priority after a long day of working with people, it is not the best way to connect with your partner. Share the same couch or love seat. At the very least sit in chairs that are side by side. It allows for touching, conversation without yelling, and sharing those late night snacks you probably shouldn't be having.

Step #3 - Be grateful and share your gratitude.

Say thank you. Complement him. While it is nice to have in return, say and do because that is how you feel. How often do we think something nice and just choose not to share it? Think of how far those nice comments can go. Monkey see, monkey do or in this case honey see, honey do.

Some examples may be: ““Name”, thank you for making that beautiful and warm fire.” “Thank you for putting your dishes in the dishwasher.” “Thank you for taking your shoes off at the door.”

It does not have to necessarily be a grand gesture, but does require a sincere thank you.

As far as complements – Again, ““Name”, wow, that is beautiful fire! Great job!” If he cooked dinner or contributed a dish, “That garlic toast sure went perfectly with the homemade lasagna I made. I am so glad you thought to make it!”

Simple, but effective, especially after a tough day at work where he may have felt unappreciated.

Step #4 - Go to bed at the same time.

You may not be ready, but this is an important step if you expect to get some action. Otherwise the night is over (for him) and you are only left with step number six (see below).

This step is important because this is a great opportunity to take advantage of the time spent brushing your teeth and washing your face. In my case my husband and I share a sink. This can sometimes cause a wrestling match or race to see who can get to the sink first. Others have the fortune and convenience of two sinks. The goal is to utilize the position you are in while completing these before bed tasks. An important reminder would be to keep your attire in mind.

I never sleep in the clothes that I wear at night. Take advantage by brushing your teeth, washing your face, etc. ever so carefully while wearing your sleep clothes, your underwear, and yes even in the nude.

Are you getting a visual? Well, guess what, your extremely visual man is getting two eyes full.

In this situation, you may not make it to the bed before the friskiness ensues. However, if you do end up in bed first simply follow step number five below, when needed.

Step #5 - Cuddle up with your man.

Take advantage of his freakishly warm body. I like to really take advantage by strategically placing my cold extremities on him directly. This is not for everyone, but it does get you warm faster. While cuddled up to your man, stroke his chest, arms, hair, and/or face, whatever. Do so gently and if possible with a lingering touch. You can also take this time to be bolder and move further south. Completely up to you. Now you are both warm and hopefully hot and bothered. If all else fails, you always have the final step.

Step #6 - Make him feel as though he is missing out.

Anything he can do, you can do better. I will let you use your imagination for this one, but hopefully you get the picture. If he still does not want to join in on your pleasure or completely take the “reins” at least you can satisfy your own desire. It is a Win/Win.

Repeat these steps as needed and don't forget to take note of what did and didn't work. You can always adjust to each of your specific needs.

These steps should lead to your getting “lucky” without the fear of rejection or always feeling like you have to be the initiator. Again, if you don’t get “lucky” with your man, take action into your own hands, literally.

Don’t underestimate the importance of the small things. Many small things can add up to enormous victory or epic failure. You decide.

Step #1 - While relaxing at night wear something you feel cute or sexy in.

Step #2 - Sit near one another.

Step #3 - Be grateful and share your gratitude.

Step #4 - Go to bed at the same time.

Step #5 - Cuddle up with your man.

Step #6 - Make him feel as though he is missing out.


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