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Warning Signs You May Be Dating a Sociopath

Updated on January 28, 2019
GreenEyes1607 profile image

Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.

Sociopaths are very real and they're not like the stereotypical serial killers portrayed in horror movies. Four out of every one hundred men is a sociopath. Sociopathy is a type of antisocial personality disorder in which a person doesn't care about doing what's right and wrong and has complete disregard for other people's feelings. They're a lot more common than you might think so this article may hit close to home for some. If you've ever had the unfortunate experience of dating a sociopath, you will know exactly what I mean when I describe in detail the many characteristics one possess. If you're one of the lucky ones who has never encountered a sociopath, pay close attention anyways because to be forewarned is to be forearmed against them. The only way to beat a sociopath at their own game is to know going what you're up against, and in this case it might just save your life.

Origins of a Sociopath

Every monster starts somewhere and it's no different for the sociopath. Sociopaths aren't born that way, although there is a strong genetic disposition for this anti-personality disorder. It may have been passed down from a parent or other member of their family. Over 70% of men who are sociopaths come from troubled homes and were raised without a father. Whether their father was present for their childhood or not, they are usually from abusive homes where chaos and violence were an everyday occurrence. This goes straight to the nature vs nurture debate. Whereas psychopaths are born that way, sociopaths are made due to their difficult upbringings. Their disregard for social norms and law abiding starts in their teenage years, usually as early as thirteen years old. They are the types to spend time in juvenile detention prisons before the age of eighteen. Trouble seems to always find them, or rather they seem to find it because they are attracted to dark and dangerous situations.

Wit and charm in surplus

The most obvious characteristic of a sociopath is their undeniable wit and charm. A sociopath male will charm you in a way that you never knew was even possible. He has such a way with words that make you weak in the knees and therefore easy prey. Because that's all people are to sociopaths; victims and prey. A sociopath will come on strong and fast to get you to fall in love with him. He will study you and learn all your strengths and weaknesses in order to use them against you. When first starting to date you, he will pull out all the stops and make you feel like the most important woman in the world. This is called the "lovebomb" phase of your relationship with the sociopath. He will appear to be the perfect partner going above and beyond any normal guy. He will have a good sense of humor that will disarm you even further. You will think you have finally met the one because no one before him has ever treated you so well before. It will seem like such a "whirlwind" romance. This is the guy who will call you "beautiful" and "sweetheart" almost right away. This is a tell tale sign that he's faking it because no one falls in love that quickly and is that obvious about it. Don't be fooled though, this is just the way a sociopath operates. In order to have his way with you, he must first lure you into the lion's den..

Playing on your sympathy and pity

One way the sociopath operates to gain your trust is to share personal details about his life with you. His sad and hurtful past is a popular way for him to gain your sympathy and pity in order to make you feel compassion and let him get even closer to you. While the sociopath may no doubt have had a difficult past and childhood, what actually happened and what he tells you may be two very different stories. You will notice that the sociopath always presents himself as a victim in every one of his stories. He was the one who was always abused, mistreated,and harmed. Everyone around him was always in the wrong and he was always the victim. The truth is that he was probably the one who inflicted the most harm on others in every one of his stories. He just wants you to see him as a victim so that you let down your guard because the reality is that you are the one he views as prey because he's going to use everything he tells you to manipulate and deceive you even further.

No conscience or emotions

This is a very difficult concept for most people to understand because we as humans are generally able to feel a variety of emotions at every given moment. We feel positive emotions like happiness, gratitude, hope, and love when good things happen and negative emotions like guilt, shame, or sadness when we hurt or lie to someone. The sociopath on the other hand, can feel no other emotion except anger and rage. Sociopaths are not capable of feeling love and having genuine feelings for another human being. They are also not able to feel guilt or shame when they manipulate and lie to their victims. Sociopaths feel nothing at all inside expect rage and anger on the occasions when they don't get their way. If they do act like they love you by giving you lots of affection like hugs and kisses they are faking it. They have learned to mimic basic human emotions so they can blend in this world without people realizing who they really are. Don't fall for it though, they are dead inside and always will be.

Lies, lies, and more lies

A sociopath is the biggest pathological liar you will ever meet. He will lie about literally anything and everything. It's not just the big things he will lie about, it's the small meaningless things that have no to reason to be lied about. He lies just for the sake of lying. It's just in his nature because he is the great deceiver. The longer you know him, the more he will lie about everything and even if you catch him in a lie and confront him about it, he can talk his way out of anything and even make you feel like you're in the wrong for questioning him and not trusting him. Sometimes the sociopath will mix lies with just a hint of the truth just to make things interesting. For example, he might say he's out for a few drinks with a couple of the guys when in reality he's really waiting for another woman he's dating to show up behind your back. See, he kind of told you the truth, but still found a way to lie in order to satisfy his urge of never being honest. There's just no end to the compulsive lies with the sociopath.

The Master Manipulator

The sociopath is the master manipulator and you have no chance against him unless you know beforehand what he truly is. He can charm and manipulate the best of us with little to no effort. Even if you're generally an intuitive person or have "woman's intuition" that never fails you, a sociopath will disarm and manipulate you anyways. You're just no match for him unless you can see right through him which very few people can do right away. A sociopath will say all the right things at exactly the right time. He does it so well you never know what's happening to you until it's almost too late. When you're with him, you will be blind and completely at his mercy. That is the effect he has on people, especially woman who are usually starved for attention. He knows this and he plays on this in order to get what he wants from you. If you thought a guy who was a "player" was bad, he was nothing compared to the sociopath. The sociopath is the type of guy who will tell you to your face that you are the only woman in his life while he has many on the side that you know nothing about it. Since he has no conscience, he has no problem lying right to your face. Believe nothing a sociopath tells you no matter how good it sounds..

An all around people person

The sociopath seems to have a lot of friends and be able to talk to just about anyone. It's all a facade though. The sociopath pretends to have friends, but really they're all just victims that he keeps around for various reasons. He charms everyone in his life, not just women, in order to have them close by in case he might need them. In reality, he doesn't really have any true friends, everyone in his life is a pawn that he uses for his own personal gain. Maybe he has one friend that he uses because he has a house and a place to drink and another friend to get drugs or money from. Everyone in the sociopath's life serves some type of purpose. So while the sociopath may seem like the typical fun loving life of the party, he is no such thing. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing with no regard for anyone but himself.

Inflated Ego

Sociopaths have an inflated ego. They think they are better and smarter than everyone else because people are so easy to fool. Due to the fact that they don't have any feelings or emotions, sociopaths rely solely on logic. This makes them superior in making decisions because they have no emotional investment in them which often brings on weakness in regular people. Sociopaths love the fact that they can get almost any woman they want and the process is so easy. They get off on the idea that they can get people to do what they want when they want. It makes them feel like a god in their own world. When things go their way, which they usually do, the already over inflated ego of the sociopath gets even more of the attention it constantly craves. To be fair, most sociopaths are highly intelligent people whether they have any sort of formal higher education or not. They can read people very quickly and know which words to use on which person. That's what makes them so dangerous, their powers of manipulation together with their intelligence give them an insidious advantage over their victims.

A life of danger and crime

Sociopaths get bored easily, so they prefer to live life on the edge. They are the types of people who are regular drinkers, bordering on functioning alcoholics, gamblers, and even drug users. Since they don't know the difference between right and wrong and don't care either way, they do what feels good in the moment with no regards to how it will affect their future. They are very impulsive by nature and play it day by day. Sociopaths drift through life with no real goals or purpose. This is the guy who may have multiple DUIs (Driving Under the Influence), spend some time in jail, yet continue to the exact thing that landed them in jail in the first place as soon as he gets out. Sociopaths have a problem with laws and law enforcement. They tend to think that they are above the law because they are so damn smart and better than everyone else. Yet statistics prove they are not since about 25-30% of inmates in prison have been diagnosed as sociopaths. It's really just a matter of time until the sociopath is caught and put away for good. It's the best thing for society since a sociopath is a danger to himself and others.

Constant new relationships

Because of the way they are, sociopaths aren't the type to be in long term relationships. They simply can't hold on to someone for a long time because inevitably their false mask will slip and their partner will get a glimpse of who they really are. Sociopaths can only pretend for so long. Once they spend a lot of time with someone, something will trigger them and make them reveal the other darker side of their personality. This might cause their partner to become frightened and leave. The sociopath will then do everything in his power to get his partner back, not because they care, because they literally can't feel anything, but because the sociopath wants the relationship to go on their terms, and if they get "dumped" they have lost control which is what they hate more than anything else in the world. This is why there is a constant revolving door in relationships for sociopaths; some women figure out quickly something is wrong and they run in the other direction and sometimes the sociopath simply gets bored and feels the need to hunt for new prey. Either way, most women don't stick around long with a sociopath and if they do, it's only until the sociopath gets tired of them and discards them like garbage.

A final warning..

If the person you're dating is displaying most or all of these signs, he is probably a sociopath and you need to start planning your escape plan now. Leaving a sociopath will be one of the most difficult things you ever do, but you have to do it if you ever want to have a peace of mind and be happy again. Every woman deserves to be with a loving partner who actually cares about them, and a sociopath will never provide that because it's just not in his nature. It will hurt like hell when you find out your whole relationship was a lie and your partner never felt anything towards you, but it will get better when you get out and start the process of moving on and putting your life together piece by piece. Whatever you do, never go back to a sociopath no matter how much they beg and plead with you. Everything they say is a lie anyways so there's no point believing a word anymore. Surround yourself with family and friends who will make the whole healing process easier and let you feel supported and loved. No one deserves to be manipulated and exploited like the victims of sociopaths, but it's a common occurrence nowadays, with women finding out only years later that they have been lied to all along. Don't let it get that far, get away from the sociopath as soon as you feel something is wrong because your instincts and gut feelings are always right. No matter how much the sociopath will try to control your mind and distort your view of the world, that nagging feeling inside that something is just not quite right will never go away until you listen to it. Get as far away as you can and never go back to who tried to break you in the first place.

Bad Seed by Five Finger Death Punch

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© 2019 GreenEyes1607

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      16 months ago from Chicago

      "When first starting to date you, he will pull out all the stops and make you feel like the most important woman in the world."

      This would describe every guy whoever wanted to get laid!

      The said truth is (women) especially young women are attracted to guys who are sociopaths, narcissists, Alpha males, & "bad boys". They attract those who want to bask in their limelight.

      Everyone has heard the old adage of: "Nice guys finish last."

      Have you ever heard of the "lonely player?, "jerk/a-hole, narcissist, bad boy. thug/gangster, Alpha male? No!

      That's no coincidence!

      A lot of women enjoy "taking on projects" having a "challenge" or driven by a need/curiosity to "figure them out" as if solving a puzzle. If you have to "figure a guy out" he's not into you!

      Any true "nice guy" who crosses their path is regulated to their "friend zone" as a shoulder to cry on regarding their a-hole mate.

      Hopefully your articles and those like it will help women to not only identify these types of men but avoid chasing the fairytale.

      The biggest asset the sociopath has going for himself is knowing so many women want to live the "fairytale" and they are willing to "sell" it to them via lies. Some women go from one sociopath to another.

      If you're having one bad dating experience after another it's probably time to reexamine (your) mate selection/screening process and "must haves list". The only thing all of your failed relationships have in common is (you).

      When we change our circumstances change.

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