8 Ways You Can Handle Being Cheated On And Rebuild Your Marriage
Rebuild Your Marriage
Cheating is becoming a common phenomenon in relationships including marriage. At one point or another many couples are unfaithful. Sometimes it’s only one partner, sometimes it is both, but why? It varies from lack of communication to revenge. Some partners are very unforgiving and this is dangerous to the continuous co-habitation of the couple and the survival of the marriage. The worst disappointment comes from being cheated on by someone you have given your entire trust, energy and love. Someone you have loved so unselfishly and sacrificed so much for, the person you stood by when anyone else would have left could shock you by running after another lover while you watch in amazement.
Are you holding on to bitterness toward your spouse after being in infidelity? Here are some tips for saving your marriage after an affair:
Forgive Your Partner
There is need for forgiveness after your spouse has cheated on you. A marriage suffers when the spouses harbor ill-feelings toward one another in their hearts. Cheaters are sinful people in need of forgiveness just like the rest of us. We are all sinners and if God can forgive us, why will we not forgive others who offend us? If you are maintaining an unforgiving heart toward your spouse, the person you’re hurting the most is you. Why not experience the joy and peace that forgiveness brings? Begin the healing process today.
Set How You Interact With The Opposite Sex
To be able to reinvent your marriage, you have to set about how you will interact with the opposite sex in order to avoid the temptation of getting involved. For instance, you and your spouse may decide that neither of you will be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even for business lunches or late nights at work. Whenever it is possible it will be better to invite your partner to join you in some business dates.
Think of Yourselves As One
Thinking of yourselves as one and always having the other person in your thoughts, instead of living individually and having your own things can help. Do something for your partner that will create the feeling that he/she is loved and you care so much about his/her welfare. For instance, making each other breakfast, or picking something up from the store that your partner might enjoy. You should try to show appreciation for things you do every day. Don’t take for granted those simple acts that make your lives easier, more fulfilling and happier. Go to shopping together. When you form the habit of always being together the temptation of being unfaithful will die and new confidence will be built in your spouse.
Surround Yourselves With Happily Married Couples
Surround yourselves with happily married couples who don’t believe in infidelity because it is said that birds of the same feathers flock together. Join some church societies where you can spend your free time creatively, helping others who are having problems with their marriage. Join some volunteer groups where you can help others in several ways. You could help bring succor to some people who are suffering extreme poverty.
Have Regular Dates
Having a regular date will also help. You should try to create the time to spend more time with your partner. Doing things you both enjoy, watching television programs of interest, listening to music together are ways of getting back together. If you love your partner you must know what he/she likes. Spending more time together will built more trust that will help rebuild your marriage. You can take weekend afternoon nap together, planning special outings, afternoon picnics, camping trips etc. Relax and enjoy your partner’s company. Sitting on the couch together and watching the news or going back to bed for some excitement after the children have gone to bed is important.
Discuss Your Problems
The power of communication in marriage cannot be overemphasized. “We need to talk,” is a phrase commonly used by couples, when their relationship has encountered interpersonal potholes along your marital road and they need to fix things. Any couple who accepts to discuss their differences are likely to overcome their problems more than those that are not ready to discuss. Through communication, difficult situations are resolved and doubts are cleared. Some wrong assumptions will be cleared and the true situation will be clearer. Through the use of proper communication, malice, fighting, high blood pressure and divorce are avoided; while happiness, harmony, progress, mutual respect are experienced. Communicating when you’re upset about something helps to create understanding. Each listening to the other’s point of view and discussing the issue/s at stake in a calm manner will reduce the possibility of things getting out of hand.
Compliment Your Partner
Say “I love you” many times during the day. You can never say too much of this phrase. Everyone wants to know that he is loved. Holding hands, hugging, kissing and cuddling all night while you’re sleeping will give a feeling of togetherness and expression of love. “I think there’s a way to grow and develop the soul mate experience with your partner. It’s attainable in reality, but only when it’s part of mature adult love. That is, it emerges from a sustainable adult relationship… blend of erotic desire, friendship, and respect and support of each other’s growth and development as independent, different human beings.” Source: “Your Soul Mate Fantasy: How to Make It a Reality.” Psychologytoday.com.
Grow spiritually together. Pray with each other and for each other. Prayer is the key to all difficult situations, because there is nothing too difficlut for God to do. A family that prays together stays together. You can keep your marriage safe from infidelity if you can be open and honest and indulge in communication and show commitment to do whatever it takes to keep your marriage a happy one. “Of all the blessings life has to offer, none equals a happy marriage.” Source: CNN.com 6/27/2011.
If you are able to rebuild your marriage after one of you or both of you have had an affair your marriage will be more stable because the problems that led to the dissatisfaction would have been addressed and trust would have been restored. Before heading for the court to institute a divorce suit, try to mend your relationship if you can.