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Sure ways to solve relationship problems in marriage. Effective steps!

Updated on December 27, 2013

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” –Donald Miller

You are basically an individual with inbuilt characteristics which is very unique to you. That characteristics form the base of your personality and however much you change with experience and age, the core will always remain there.

When you marry you have to co-exist with another personality which might be different from what you are. And when you marry such a clashing personality which is in direct contrast to your concept of living, married life becomes oppressive and heated up. This is the top reason for relationship problems in marriage.

Are relationship problems marriage wreckers?

Well, it is not if you know how to handle it! But it can destroy your marriage if you let the differences assume an enormous proportion that it makes you drift apart in apathy. In the initial stages of your marriage, the differences in wishes and desires do not immediately strike you as you still haven’t got over the euphoria of having married the person you loved.

But as you get used to your spouse, the differences in opinion, tastes, upbringing and inclinations suddenly strikes you with a velocity of a hurricane. Instead of fighting against the differences which cripples your married life, you join the foray against your spouse and make your marriage struggle, fumble and stumble.

How do you handle such relationship problems?

The most important thing you should realize is that you are not living with an enemy, but with a person who means the world to you. It is very easy to let go your marriage, but very difficult to protect it from disintegration. It needs the input of care from both and unless you overlook minor faults of your spouse your marriage will never work.

What are the main relationship problems you face?

  • Belied expectations
  • Contradictory way of handling the finance
  • Refusing to share commitments
  • Not being accountable
  • Complete indifference
  • Boredom

You have great expectations before you marry and think that all your expectations will be met by your spouse. This leads to many disappointments in your married life. When the initial sheen of your marriage wears off, the true picture of your spouse emerges into harsh reality to you.

Dreams shattered, expectations battered leads to your love crumbling in the harsh reality of life which leaves you gasping with anger and frustration. Do not have idealistic expectations about your marriage as invariably you are bound to be disillusioned. This is when practicality and reasonableness helps you. You should accept your spouse as an individual and not sharpen your claws against the differences you have with him\her.

Money matters form another main cause for differences between couples. You earn well, but you would not share your financial commitments together. Money should make you financially secure and not make you fight with one another as to who should be the main contributor in the financial commitments of your family.

When you have some personal money for yourself, you feel a lot better than when you have to account for everything you earn. You should always remember that you are spending for the family and not for some third party.

You cannot live through your marriage as if you do not have any responsibilities and that you are not answerable to your spouse. You are accountable and responsible for the mistakes you commit. You should explain and mend your ways to make your spouse happy. It is your compulsive duty and it is the same with your spouse. Your relationship goes from strength to strength when you hold yourself responsible for the mistakes you commit.

You should never allow boredom to creep into your relationship. Boredom can make you indifferent and uncaring. When you are uncaring, it makes your spouse feel angered at you and instigates unnecessary arguments between you. Arguments develop into bitter fights and fights eventually wreck your marriage.

You should immediately be on the red alert when you feel something amiss slowly entering into your relationship with your spouse. If you let it gather root, your marriage will not sustain the love you had when you married and you and your spouse unthinkingly let your marriage plunge into irrevocable failure.

© 2013 mathira


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    • mathira profile image

      mathira 4 years ago from chennai

      billy, thanks again for your encouragement.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      As always sound advice from a lady who obviously understands marriage and what it takes to be successful. Well done my friend. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.