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Wedding Planning: Special Situations PartI

Updated on March 10, 2014
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"We are constantly being put to the test by trying circumstances and difficult people and problems not necessarily of our own making." ~ Terry Brooks

Life is very unpredictable and each one of us has had to deal with some sort of sensitive, delicate, unusual, heartbreaking or outrageous situation at some point in our lives. It might be something that we have had to deal with or live with. Regardless of the issue, often times it places an unexpected and unwanted stress on our day to day lives.


Planning a wedding, as I have mentioned on numerous occasions, can be a stressful situation in itself, but what do you do when something happens or you are already dealing with other issues as well? In this segment we are going to look at "special situations" you may be faced with during your wedding planning process and how to deal with it or diffuse it before it becomes a problem.

Calling Off The Wedding

This is certainly not a topic someone planning their wedding wants to think about. Unfortunately, sometimes things happen that force a couple to call off their wedding.


Calling off your wedding may be a devastating event for some, but for others. it may be the best decision they will ever make. Believe it or not, if deep down you are not 100% certain or you know that there are serious issues, it is better to realize it before the fact and not after. Sometimes calling off the wedding is the best solution.


It is estimated that 15% to 20% of engaged couples call off their wedding plans. It is normal for couples to have doubts or get cold feet. After all, you are committing your lives to one another. There are no other more important decisions you will make in your lifetime with such lasting consequences.

Doubting Bride
Doubting Bride | Source

Passing Along The Message

In most cases, a broken engagement is devastating and painful for everyone involved. Once the difficult decision has been made to call off the wedding, you will need to notify family members and friends. So, how does a couple go about spreading the word? I am sure it is the last thing you are thinking about, but it has to be done, (not necessarily by you personally, someone else can do it for you). Here are a few tips on how to pass along the message:


-There is nothing wrong with enlisting the assistance of close friends to inform others. This of course should be done only if you did not formally announce your engagement. Also, it is important to ensure that they respect the privacy of those involved when doing so on your behalf.


-A brief announcement should be made in the papers if your engagement has been broken off. This should be done only if your initial engagement announcement was placed in the papers to begin with. Here is an example of what you can write:


Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

announce that the engagement of their daughter

Ashley Marie and Mr. Connor William White

has been ended by mutual consent


-You should definitely send out a printed announcement if you have already sent off your invitations. Here is an example of what can be printed and mailed out:


Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

announce that the marriage of their daughter

Ashley Marie to

Mr. Connor William White

will not take place.


-Guests must be notified immediately by telephone if your wedding is cancelled a few days prior to the wedding day. You can enlist the help of family members to do so.


-Sometimes a couple may have to postpone a wedding owing to a death in the family or a serious illness. In this situation, guests must be contacted immediately as well. If there is enough time, a printed or handwritten announcement can be sent out. If it is a postponement, an explanation should be given. If it is a permanent cancellation, you do not have to give an explanation. Here is an example of what can be written in the case of a postponement:


Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

Regret that they are obliged to recall

The invitations to the marriage of their daughter

Ashley Marie to Mr. Connor William White

Due to the death of Mr. White's father

Mr. Terrence Seymour White


-If the wedding is still to take place, the following lines can be included in the above announcement:


The ceremony will be held privately

In the presence of the immediate family


-In some instances, it is necessary to recall invitations because the reception will be cancelled. It is appropriate to send out the following, if the ceremony is taking place but not the reception:



Mr. and Mrs. James Smith

Regret that owing to a death in the family

They are obligated to recall the invitations

To the marriage reception of their daughter

On Saturday, the twenty-seventh day of July

Two thousand and Thirteen

The marriage ceremony will take place as originally planned


Cancelled Wedding
Cancelled Wedding | Source

Honoring The Death Of A Parent At Your Wedding

If a parent or close relative has passed away, it is important for some couples to keep their memory alive in some way at the wedding without affecting the happy and joyful mood of the occasion. Although the absence of a parent or loved one is sad, their lives can certainly be celebrated in some sentimental way on a couple's wedding day.

Rememberance

If you are going through a difficult time with the loss of a parent or loved one during one of the most important moments of your life, here are a few ways to remember that special person on your wedding day:


-Have the officiant say a few special words during the ceremony about the deceased relative. If they did not know the individual personally, provide them with some sentimental details.


-Include a memoriam line at the end of your wedding ceremony program. List the name(s) in acknowledgement of those who are no longer with you.


-A lovely gesture would be to wear an article of your loved one's clothing or piece of their jewelry on your wedding day. You could wear your mother's favorite pair of earrings or wedding dress, or your dad's tie pin or cuff links.


-Have your bouquet made up of the flowers that were in your mother or grandmother's bridal bouquet.


-Display wedding pictures of family members or loved ones with the bride/groom, at the reception. This is a sentimental way of including all the special people who were an important part of your life.


-Have a small table setup at the wedding reception with a candle or floral arrangement and a card attached saying, “In memory of our loved ones who are with us in spirit today”. We have all shared unique and cherished experiences with our parents or loved ones that have passed away. If you wish to honour someone special on your wedding day, reflect on some of your own unique and cherished experiences and find a creative way of incorporating them into your day.

Wedding Invitation
Wedding Invitation | Source
Memorial Table At Reception
Memorial Table At Reception | Source
Honouring Loved Ones At Wedding Ceremony
Honouring Loved Ones At Wedding Ceremony | Source

Finally........

It is often difficult having to deal with issues such as calling off a wedding or how to memorialize a loved one at your ceremony or reception. This segment was intended to give you some examples on how to deal with these delicate situations when you are in the midst of planning a wedding. I hope you found it helpful.

QUESTION:

Is incorporating some kind of memorial for loved ones into your wedding day important to you?

See results

How To Honour Deceased Loved Ones At Your Wedding

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    • Karen Hellier profile image

      Karen Hellier 4 years ago from Georgia

      Gee, I never thought about what would happen if someone very close to the bride and groom died shortly before the wedding. How awful. This is a very informative article and will be helpful to those who want to cancel the wedding but need some reassurance, or has a death in the family. Great information for both situations. Voted up and useful. Great pics, as always!

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you so much Karen! It is very sad but unfortunately some couples do have to deal with the loss of a loved one. However, as I mentioned there are ways to remember them while still maintaining the joyful element of the day. Once again, thank you and take care!

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      This is good information!...these are things most people really do not wish to think about when planning a wedding, but it happens.

      Voting up, useful and sharing.

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you so much! It's true, people don't want to really think about issues like these when they are planning a wedding, Unfortunately, things do happen and they need to be dealt with. Once again, thank you and take care.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Hi, its not something that people want to think about, but of course it happens, and this is really helpful for these situations.

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Hello Nell Rose, thank you so much for stopping by, I really appreciate it. It's true that nobody wants to think about unpleasant situations but unfortunately things do happen that need to be dealt with. Once again, thank you and take care! -Rose

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Rose you have dealt with an important subject very appropriately with useful samples of message styles to suit different needs.

      Voted up, useful and shared.

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you so much Rajan for stopping by and for the vote up! I really appreciate it. Take care. -Rose

    • Neinahpets profile image

      Stephanie 3 years ago from Canada

      This is very informative and kept me reading throughout the entire thing. You provide such thorough information to deal with situations most people don't even wish to think about. I am sure this is going to be very helpful to many, myself included on the memorial part!

      Voted up, useful and will share.

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you for stopping by Neinahpets! I really appreciate your kind words and vote up! It is so true that many people have to deal with situations during the wedding planning process that can be very stressful. Hopefully I have provided some helpful suggestions in dealing with some of these sensitive issues. Take care and have a wonderful weekend! Rose

    • savvydating profile image

      savvydating 3 years ago

      Yet another wonderful article about what to do in unique situations. It's a shame to have to call off a wedding, but I'm sure nearly every reader here has known someone who wishes they had had the courage to end the engagement! I know I have.

      And as for honoring our deceased, I loved that the video reminded us to have happy pictures around. After all, our guests have been invited to fun celebration. Having said that, I cannot think of a more beautiful way to honor our recently deceased than do do so on one of the happiest days of our lives, especially since their spirits are likely right there enjoying the celebration!

      Another up & awesome!

    • justmesuzanne profile image

      justmesuzanne 3 years ago from Texas

      Excellent practical advice! Voted up, awesome and shared! :)

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you so much for stopping by savvydating. I really appreciate your kind words and support! Unfortunately, things do happen sometimes during the wedding planning process and it is always difficult to have to deal with certain issues or delicate situations. Honoring loved ones that have passed away is often important to couples on their wedding day. As you can see, there are so many lovely ways of doing so without affecting the celebratory feeling of the occasion negatively. Once again, thank you for your visit. Take care and have a wonderful evening!

      -Rose

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you so much for stopping by justmesuzanne. I truly appreciate your kind words and vote up! Take care and have a wonderful evening. -Rose

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      When my brother got married he didn't have the audience as expected one of my relatives died weeks before the wedding. It was a sad event. Plans usually moves on but not much of a happy occasion. Great hub with lots to think of here. Voted up, useful and interesting.

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you for stopping by DDE. I really appreciate all of your support! How sad for your family and especially your brother. Unexpected things do happen and sometimes you need to deal with difficult situations at a time when it should be an otherwise joyous occasion. It's always good to know how to cope or deal with the issues without completely jeopardizing the wedding day. Take care and have a wonderful weekend! -Rose

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I had never heard of putting wedding cancellations in the paper but sounds a good idea. beats rumors getting started like one of you died or something! Nicely and professionally done. Useful and interesting!

    • rose-the planner profile image
      Author

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Thank you so much for stopping by Jackie, I really appreciate it. Take care. -Rose

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