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Weekly Weigh In: Gay Marriage

Updated on May 26, 2012

Gay Marriage? Yea, I’m completely for it.

If the Gallup polls are accurate, half of you just quit reading. For those of you who remain, thank you. The Gay rights ‘controversy’ has erupted all over the news since last week’s interview where for the first time in history a sitting president has publicly and positively acknowledged the gay community and their goals. A calculated risk for an election year, and although it will not hold much sway against state lawmakers, is a great morale boost to the gay community and their supporters. I’m by no means ‘jumping on the bandwagon’, but would like to put to paper (as it were) my views and opinions on the subject, based on several conversations I’ve had over the years with people against or confused about homosexuals. I’ll touch on some points that have really been the core of my views regarding gay rights and same-sex marriage.

Number 1: Being Gay is not a choice.

Let’s just go ahead and get that myth out of the way. I could dive into the scientific findings that support the theory of homosexuality actually being genetic, but I’ll keep it personal. If you know someone who’s attracted to the same sex, you know that all ready; but I think a lot of misconceptions about homosexuality stems from the simple fact that people don’t personally know or interact with someone who’s homosexual. These people generally soak up information from resources like the media, relatives, friends, and church and develop a view on the subject based on narrow and biased opinions. I can tell you from my experience, every person I’ve known who’s “chosen” to be gay, recant sooner rather than later and return to affairs with the opposite sex. All my friends that are actually gay, however, are totally uninterested in the opposite sex except the occasional “experimental phase” they went through in high school or college to see if they might actually be straight.

Number 2: Gay parents make gay children

Let me stop laughing for a moment to address this. If, by some mythical force, this were the case, homosexuality would be an extremely rare genetic anomaly that would have been weeded out of the human genome rather quickly because they would have never procreate. If the sheer stupidity of the statement escapes you, let me riddle you this: Why do gay children mostly come from heterosexual households? I’ll let you ponder that, as I move on to the next topic.

Number 3: Gay rights VS. Civil rights

I’m against the notion of comparing the gay rights movement to the larger wave of women’s suffrage and the African American Civil rights movements. It’s like comparing hard boiled eggs and omelettes. They share the same basic principles of a group being discriminated against and being denied something they view as their legal right, but that’s where the similarity ends. Women and African Americans had to bleed to raise themselves up in protest from second class citizens to legal equality with white men. Women in the 19th and early 20th century were largely regarded as sexless and brainless. African Americans began in this country as slaves. It is a disservice to their struggles to raise the gay rights movement to their level. The gay rights movement is more on the level of the 1940’s movement to keep women in the work place that evolved into equal employment opportunities between women and men. We can hope it won’t take that long for gays to obtain the same legal rights to their lifestyle, and marriage as that, but only time will tell.

Number 4: Love thy Neighbor

20 or even 15 years ago, the sight of a gay couple would be utterly scandalous. In recent years the gay rights movement has spread like wildfire, encouraged mostly by celebrity endorsements and prominent figures taking the courage to admit their sexual orientation. In the wake of the shifting social views a lot of people have resorted to falling back on religion to justify their homophobia. This display is just sad. It’s like saying “I don’t have to explore my hatred for gays because the bible says you are bad for being born this way. That’s the only justification I need.” This anti-gay religious stance smacks of ignorance and a stubborn close-mindedness to other’s points of view. I only have one thing to say to these kind of people: In the nineties there was a very, very popular anagram that swept across the US… I want you to take it and apply it to this: When it comes to how you acknowledge and treat homosexuals… WWJD?

Number 5: Gays have a right to misery and High Divorce rates too!

When you take religious issues off the table, why shouldn’t same-sex couples be allowed to be legally joined to the person they love? As far as the danger to “traditional marriage” Historically speaking, a monogamous lifetime commitment between one man and one woman was not the most popular family arrangement. More prevalent examples throughout ancient and modern times are based on polygamy, communal child-rearing, the use of concubines and mistresses and the commonality of prostitution. On top of that, there is absolutely no legally viable reason to deny them the right. Surprisingly enough, their right is actually protected by a Supreme Court case from the seventies and states banning gay marriage are in fact, violating their constitutional rights. In Cleveland Board of Education v. LaFleur, the Supreme Court determined thatpersonal choice in marriage and family matters are liberties protected by due process. So, why not let them join in the perks of marriage that allow them POA over their partner if their life is in medical jeopardy, claim their rights to parenthood and share in tax breaks and an outrageous divorce rate.

So, there it is, a summary of my feelings on homosexuality, gay rights, and gay marriage. I fully support their quest for rights equal to that of heterosexual married couples, and I don’t believe such unions, if recognized, would do anything but affirm that they deserve it. The rise of tolerance and acceptance of same-sex couples in no way endangers traditional family values (we’ve managed to do that all on our own, sorry folks), endangers our children and their sexuality or should be fodder for bigots and haters to demean and abuse fellow human beings. We have a rare opportunity in our generation, as have generations before us, to take a collective step towards bettering ourselves and moving towards true equality and justice for all of humankind.

Are you for or against Gay Marriage?

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    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 

      6 years ago from North Texas

      Alas, I have promised myself I will not get involved in politics or write about politics on this site even though I am a political junky and have learned about politics from some of the best. So I will not vote or share my opinion on this issue -- but I will say that you have written this hub very well, and I will vote it up on that note. Good luck to you!

    • ShalahChayilJOY profile image

      Shalah Chayil 

      6 years ago from Billings, Montana

      Homosexuality will end when Messiah returns and rules the earth which shall be very, very soon because Ruach HaKodesh that Christians call Holy Spirit is re-gathering the House of Israel that was scattered throughout the nations back to HIMSELF.

      Leanne Payne, in her books Crisis in Masculinity and The Broken Image and Paula Sanford in Healing Victims of Sexual Abuse and many other spiritual healers who have degrees in psychology say, Payne in Crisis: "It is the father (or father substitute) who affirms sons and daughters in their sexual identity and therefore-because gender identity is a vital part of personhood itself--as persons. Masculinity , as we shall see, is finally not a thing to be learned, but rather a quality to be tasted or experienced. The masculine within is called forth and blessed by the masculine without. It is thereby commissioned to be, to grow, and to mature. Generally speaking we now have a generation of sons, whose fathers, for several generations back, have been unaffirmed as men. The father who is unaffirmed in his own masculinity cannot adequately affirm the son in his." p. 14. She is a degreed counselor and has seen hundreds of healings of 'confirmed homosexuals' into their true identity as males and also lesbians as females. "One young man, suffering a full-blown homosexual neurosis, told me that his father had never once, even though he lived in the home entered his bedroom. He told me that he could not remember his father ever intentionally touching him. Understandably, this son had as a child an overwhelming need to touch the father, the ordained role model from whom masculinity is received, is a basic need for a son." p. 76. Find the book and educate your self. I do not mean that in an insult. I mean that there are experts that KNOW about these things and we can learn a lot from those that work in the field.

      I would have to take up more time and more space than I really want to to answer your 'beliefs' with proofs from psychologist that have records upon records of helping identity crisis victims find their true sexual identity and who successfully overcame the neurosis of homosexuality and lived as God intended very happily afterward. Leanne Payne has several books on the subject. John and Paula Sanford also offer excellent material on the subject.

      and no it is not really healthy for children to live in one parent families, but some survive and find ways to overcome the missing elements from the missing parent. While I had both parents in my home, neither was able to properly nurture me and teach me how to appropriately express my emotions. I had to grow up in my 50's and re-parent myself. My father passed away years ago and I have to mother my mother....

    • beadreamer247 profile image


      6 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      Interesting article once again on gay marriage....It will never end. But I strongly disagree that the loss of a father role for your son was reason for your son to be gay! I absolutely don't believe it for a second. There are many children growing up with out a father or mother - and they don't turn out to tend towards the same sex at all. This is a very unrealistic idea and trying to reason your son's choice.

      I personally don't have any problems with gay people as long as they don't bother me. When it comes to marriage I am against it, because they cannot form the type of marriage according to the bible. The only way to "multiply" is through adoption or medical procedures and not the natural way - and part of marriage to me is also the desire to have children together. Some choose not to have children, that's a different thing - a personal choice. I also have a hard time with adoption into gay marriages, somehow it doesn't seem right and it even contradicts what you said. You are blaming your son's sexual interest on the fact that his father role was missing. So if one role in a parenting relationship is can it be healthy for a child, growing up missing one side?

    • ShalahChayilJOY profile image

      Shalah Chayil 

      6 years ago from Billings, Montana

      According to the Biblical account, the earth was created 6000 years ago. According to some scientists, it is millions of years old. According to Physics, both can be true at the same time. I did almost put or millions of years ago. I have no problem with accepting some of the "blame" as you put it for my son's attraction to males, and I am not blaming his father, except that when a father abandons a child---that child still craves and looks for a father figure.

      I do know that I am forgiven for my faults, failures, sins, transgressions etc. And I have worked extremely hard to overcome those things in my life that may have helped cause my son to look for acceptance, affection, affirmation etc in other broken males. I have some ideas that are different. If they seem odd to you---well, they seem odd.

      When you really study scripture and seek God to KNOW HIM as HE truly is, He reveals HIMSELF to you. When you choose to cling to feelings and reject TRUTH, you make a god in your own image and never come to KNOW HIM as HE truly is. By you, I mean anyone-plural.

      "Let us make man in our image. IN our image, let us make them male and female." The Creator has what we consider both masculine and feminine characteristics. He is strong, firm, powerful, yet very gentle, kind, loving, forgiving, And HE empowers us to conquer those things that HE called sin---missing the mark. Man can live without sex-it may be very powerful lust [overpowering desire], but grace is more powerful. But man cannot live without food and water or air.

      And HE says, "Man cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." It is also quoted in the Brit Hadesha or New Testament which is simply a fulfillment of the original. The word LIVE means man cannot recover what God created in the garden---light, purity, true unadulterated love, HIS companionship apart from HIS WORD illumined by HIS Spirit. The natural mind cannot comprehend the mind of the Spirit. And I pray that Ruach HaKodesh does illumine the mind of everyone HE brings to read this. I do not claim to be super spiritual---I am simply extremely blessed that HE illumined my spirit and soul. I say this with all humility and pray GRACE touch everyone to understand.

    • Bernard Preston profile image

      Bernard Preston 

      6 years ago from South Africa and the Netherlands

      You make some good points, Shalah, but you utterly spoil your case by suggesting life was first created 6000 years ago. That's even more absurd than believing the Earth is flat! Those dinosaur fossils 200 million years old?

      And that addiction to sex? You mean like you're addicted to water and air and food...? All God-given instincts.

      If you're really looking for origin of your son's homosexuality, it might be a better idea to look within instead of blaming his father. You have some very odd ideas...

      Straight Bernie

    • ShalahChayilJOY profile image

      Shalah Chayil 

      6 years ago from Billings, Montana

      My son is attracted to males. I love my son. IF a person's genetics say he is gay, that is because of the curse. It is not their fault, but it is a defect. By defect I mean it can be healed by Yeshua. Now I realize that those that are gay will feel offended by this truth. It is nonetheless true. Genetics CAN be changed! That is also a proven medical fact.

      And I am extremely comfortable in my own skin! I know who I am and whose I am. Yeshua healed me of depression which many say is 'genetic' passed down through the family line. Hey, if homosexuality is genetic, why is my son the first one in our family.. Where did the genetics come from. I KNOW why my son is more attracted to males. He is looking for the dad image he never had and also for the parts of himself the are in him that he admires in other males that he can't see in himself.

      We are not created to worship feelings! When we worship feelings it is idolatry. Idolatry NEVER results in true fulfillment or true joy. The feelings of euphoria that come from finding others who accept you as you are is counterfeit happiness. ALL have sinned, missed the mark. I sin every day! Still I strive to overcome my sin. I do not fight to legalize it. I was addicted to sex--that was sin, missing the mark. I have overcome and truly found comfort, strength, real love [not the lust that tore me apart] in Yeshua. People mistake lust for love and that is so self-destructive. If we sow to the flesh we shall of the flesh reap corruption. If we sow to the spirit, we will of the Spirit find the true knowledge of our Creator who made us for friendship with HIM.

      I am NOT condemning homosexuals. IF they were supposed to marry, doesn't anyone imagine it would have been legal a loooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnng time ago? why 6000 years into the creation of life? LOOK at the anatomy for heavn's sake. I know I'm talking to the wall here, but I will continue to speak the truth as long as I have breath in me. And since I expect to be alive and see Christ set HIS feet down on the MT of Olives and never die, that shall be a very long time. It is time to look up for your redemption is very, very near. Instead of fighting moot issues---there will be NO HOMOSEXUALITY during HIS 1000 year reign, no murder, no thievery, no lying, stealing, adultery, fornication, fighting...

      It will be as it is in heaven. By the way there is no homosexuality in heaven. And Yeshua did teach HIS disciples to pray, YOUR kingdom come, YOUR will be done in earth AS IT IS in HEAVEN. IF that is HIS prayer, how can anyone imagine HE approves of same sex intercourse???

      Think about it.

    • Heather Says profile image

      Heather Rode 

      6 years ago from Buckeye, Arizona

      Great article. People who oppose this aren't comfortable in their own skin. We're talking about basic civil rights. A lot of people are going to look like idiots in 40 years-- well they look like idiots now, but their words and actions will make their grandchildren very embarrassed. I'm catholic and a registered republican-- I have faith that if I can put stock in this equal-rights-movement, there has to hope.

    • Michael Salas profile image

      Michael Salas 

      6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Thank you for this article. Good information for people to consider. Many people think this is a choice, and this is the argument being made. Thanks again--good hub.

    • ShalahChayilJOY profile image

      Shalah Chayil 

      6 years ago from Billings, Montana

      Well, truth be told. We are NOW in what is called The Day of the LORD. That means that "Of the increase of HIS government and true Peace there shall be no end" IN the light of this truth, all those that oppose His 'laws' shall find that breaking HIS laws will break them. That is the simple truth of the matter.

      those that set pleasure above YHVH will find that pleasure swallow them whole and eat them alive. I truly wish that were not true

      YESHUA came to earth, put on a mortal, flesh body and demonstrated real LOVE. HE lifted up the woman caught in adultery and condemned by the 'established' religious leaders of the day.

      breaking the laws established by our Messiah only breaks and destroys those that break them.

      Yeshua is reaching out to lift you up and out of that deception. I decree and declare that YOU shall SEE clearly the lies that have held you in darkness until now and that YESHUA HAMashiach WILL light your way.

    • Bernard Preston profile image

      Bernard Preston 

      6 years ago from South Africa and the Netherlands

      I have one quite large difficulty, but it's in the presentation of gay marriage not in the fact.

      Livia is for gay marriage. Pres Obama is for gay marriage. That comes over that they are against hetero marriage, or at the very least, same sex marriage should be the world's first choice when it comes to relationships.

      I'm not "for" gay marriage, but I am "for" folk being able to choose for themselves who their partners should be, without prejudice.

      Straight Bernie


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