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What A Man Wants From His Woman

Updated on October 28, 2016
Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah is a writer, healer, and teacher. Her goal is to help people live their best lives everyday, while sharing her joy and love of life.


A good man is hard to find

It's true. A good man is hard to find. There are plenty of scoundrels, scamps and players out there. In fact, some men feel it is a challenge to be scandalous and behave like the whores they accuse women of being.

When you find a good man, how do you keep him happy? The following tips will help you keep a good man once you have found him.



You might be surprised to learn that the most important thing to the man in your life is respect.

Men want to be respected by their wives, by their children, by their coworkers, by their bosses. It is a part of who they are. Men need respect to feel like they are doing what they are called to do.

Respecting your man doesn't mean you blindly follow him. It means you ask for his opinion. You listen to his advice, whether you plan to take it or not. You let him talk without constantly interrupting. Tell him you appreciate the hard work he does, and his dedication to you, your family and his work. Let him know that you admire him.

Respect speaks directly to your man. Speaking his language will help bring the two of you closer together.

Try this test



You can be your man's biggest ally, his most ardent supporter and most vocal cheerleader. He wants you to be impressed, whether it's with his business acumen or his tough workout regime.

He wants you to notice what he does and encourage him. He wants to know that you notice him and support him. When you let your man know that you believe in him then you strengthen his spirit to keep going.

To be his cheerleader, thank him for working hard. Tell him you admire his dedication and devotion, not only to you, but to other areas of his life. You will lift his spirits and he will feel even more connected to you.

The way you speak matters

Follow the leader

The man in your life wants to lead. And he wants you to allow him the authority and responsibility to lead effectively.

He doesn't want to feel undermined and sabotaged. What he wants is a woman who will listen and who will lean on him for support. Men have a strong desire to lead both in the family and in the workplace.

You don't have to follow blindly like a lamb being led to slaughter, but don't belittle him or argue with him publicly. Honor his leadership and respect his authority by praising his good decisions and graciously making space when he makes bad decisions.

Someone has to be in charge in a relationship, and with the authority comes great responsibility. Allow him to lead and give him the authority to make decisions. This doesn't mean you become a doormat, but rather you choose to let him lead.

It takes great courage and strength to allow someone else to be in charge, and your man will blossom when you give him this gift.

Do you respect your man?

Do you respect the man you are with?

See results

Sharing his wisdom

He likes it when you ask for his advice. He likes to problem solve and conflict resolve. If you'd like to make your man feel important and necessary in your life, ask his opinion. Ask for his help. Tell him you need some insight or inspiration.

Now, once you have asked, let the man talk. Listen to what he says, whether you plan to follow his advice or not. You don't have to do exactly what he says, but respect the fact that he may see things differently than you do, and he may have some insight into a problem that you have missed. Be open to the idea that his idea might just work.

Your man wants to know that you value his wisdom and insight. There is a reason that men and women are different, and asking his opinion will let him know that you value and trust him.



Your man wants to be your friend. Women tend to mistake the male idea of friendship for the female version of friendship.

He doesn't need to talk all the time, in order to build and strengthen your relationship. In fact, all your talking serves to distract and annoy him. What your man wants is you. Sitting there next to him. He wants to hang out. He wants to know that you like him.

When you spend time with your man, don't talk. There is no need to fill the air with words, and in many cases, this is counterproductive. He wants to be with you, but men don't need to talk all the time to enjoy themselves. He wants your companionship and your company. Let him know that you like him by showing up, spending time and not talking.

These books might offer some insight

The Married Girls Guide to Great Sex is a must read for any woman considering marriage to her man. It details how to stay friends with your partner, and how to continue appreciating him through all the trials and errors of being married. It's not just about sex. The title is a misnomer. It's really a marriage guide, which can help you fall in love with your man, all over again.

Love & Respect is a great tool for men and women. It outlines why women should respect their partners, and why men should love their wives. Women are naturals when it comes to being loving, and men thrive on respect. When we get into relationships with each other, then we have to learn new ways of communicating.

The book explains that neither communication style is wrong, but men and women are just different. It can definitely help any marriage.


Yes, your man wants sex. But it is not the most important thing in your relationship, believe it or not. After you begin meeting his physical needs for intimacy, he will become more responsive to meeting your emotional needs.

Sex is not your man's number one need. It is symbolic of his deep need for your respect. Respect is his deepest need, and part of respecting your man is being physically intimate.

Men and women view sex and physical intimacy differently. Men are primarily visual creatures. They love to look at the beautiful female form. Give him the gift of seeing you naked, and you fulfill that basic need.

Besides being visual, men need physical release. It is biological. They crave that contact and release in the same way that a woman craves emotional closeness. When you meet your man's physical needs, he will open up to you emotionally.

What your man needs

What do you think?

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 9 months ago

      Excellent article! (Filled with wisdom)

      The only thing I'd remind women is (men) want to feel desired too!

      It's no enough to have sex with him. He wants his woman to (initiate) it sometimes! Also never stop being playful or flirtatious.

      Too often couples slip into a mundane lifestyle where they gradually stop doing all of the things that caused their mate to fall in love with them.

      When we change our circumstances change.

    • Carolyn M Fields profile image

      Carolyn Fields 9 months ago from the USA

      Great article. Good advice, particularly the part about not talking ALL the time.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 9 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      @dashingscorpio, Thank you for reading and for commenting. I agree, I think women need to initiate sex more often. Men do want to feel attractive and desirable, just as much as women do.

      And when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Literally. I appreciate your input.

      Carolyn M Fields, Thanks for reading my article. I do think women have a tendency to want to resolve everything with words. Sometimes men just want us around. Without all the noise.

      Namaste friends

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 9 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      I guess it comes under your heading of "Friendship" but I had in mind the feeling of partnership and sharing a mutual understanding of each other.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 9 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Perspycacious, I think you have a great point. Partnership and mutual understanding are very important. And I guess that would come under the friendship heading. Spending time together, and understanding each other's needs.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.


    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 9 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I like this. It take two to tango and make a partnership work. presentation well done.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 9 months ago from The Caribbean

      Many women are willing to give all the values you list as what man wants. Then they cite the last statement in your poll: they cannot find a man who deserves it. Seems like we have to teach mutual trust and respect to both genders together. You give good counsel.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 9 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      @always exploring, Thanks for the compliment. You are right. It takes two partners to make a successful relationship.

      @MsDora, I agree, we need to practice mutual respect and trust.

      Thank you both for reading and commenting.


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