- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
What Creeps Women / Her Out?
I recently received an email from fellow hubber pjk_artist suggesting that I write a hub about "What Creeps Women Out". In other words, at what point does romantic and flattering, become creepy, stalker-like behaviour that makes the woman feel really uncomfortable! Never one to turn down a challenge I decided to give this a go and started putting my mind to what has made my friends or myself feel creeped out in the past, and here are my thoughts and the results I came up with.
Ladies please feel free to add your own personal pet hates in the comments section, who knows it could completely change the mehods some perfectly nice, but clueless, men use in their efforts to impress the latest lady they find very attractive!
So where to begin, after all there are so many things men innocently do in order to impress a lady, only to either see her rapidly vanishing into the distance in a cloud of dust, or the poor chap quickly discovers a Policeman on their doorstep armed with a restraining order asking them to leave said "Lady" alone. For the poor guy left scratching his head and wondering where he went wrong and why he isn't now on his way up to the altar with a new bride to be on his arm, here are a few clues as to the dos and don'ts of "wooing" a lady.
Creepy to the Woman
1) Sending sms/text messages to her multiple times per day.
2) Turning up at all her regular haunts be them her workplace, the library, the park where she walks her dog or her local pub. Never outstay your welcome after you have said your hello's.
3) Finding out her phone number before phoning her every day, (especially if it is more than two or three times) rapidly becomes suffocating and intrusive.
4) Staring at her constantly in company is a sure fire way of creeping her out if you overdo it.
5) Endless love poems will for most women become a bit stalker-like very fast.
6) Excessive innuendos will come across as sleazy to a lady. That is not to say you can't ever use innuendo, just don't make it your sole demonstration of a sense of humour.
7) Inappropriate touching / invasion of personal space. Nothing is more uncomfortable than a man who either seems determined to touch you at every opportunity, or who insists on sitting so close to you that you have a burning desire to move away from his airspace.
8) Excessive gifts will make her feel awkward and pressured so don't overdo the romancing with lavish presents.
9) Don't stare at, or talk to, her breasts constantly as this is totally freaky, not to mention quite shallow and not likely to impress her at all.
10) Finally, don't be tempted to talk about your exes, your conquests and your sexual abilities. It wreaks of desperation plus is more than likely to have her exiting through the toilet window before you know it. Do not interrogate her about her exes either as this can imply a jealous mentality that has the potential to become stalker-like.
Not Creepy to the Woman
1) Perhaps sending her a text once or twice a week checking in how she is (but back off immediately if she doesn't reply).
2) By all means it is okay to drop in to her local pub or bump into her in the library or the park, but don't make it a daily event, and after you have said a polite hello and maybe asked her if she fancies meeting up for a drink or something, don't hang around too long or outstay your welcome.
3) Ask her for her phone number and then play it a little cool by not phoning daily and not sounding too desperate. Do not phone her until she has given you her number voluntarily.
4) The occasional meeting of eyes across a crowded room, perhaps a cheeky grin or a wink can be very sexy as part of the flirting game.
5) Keep love poems to one offs for a special occasion such as a Birthday or a Valentine's Day card and then it will seem romantic, not creepy.
6) A naughty sense of humour can be quite sexy if not used too excessively. Innuendo is not totally taboo, so long as it isn't always aimed at the lady personally and is not too shocking. Stick to mischievous naughty humour which is unlikely to offend.
7) By all means stand near to her, just not on top of her. It is fine to give her a kiss on the cheek as a greeting, but don't keep finding excuses to touch her afterwards unless she instigates it. With a bit of clever banter she will soon be sizzling for your touch and using her own feminine methods to accidentally brush against you.
8) Sending a lady flowers is always romantic and will impress her no end, just keep them to sensible levels and if you want to send other gifts don't be so extravagant as to make her feel obligated to you.
9) By all means you can look into her eyes and compliment her on them. That is both romantic and flattering without being overly sexual. Make eye contact when you are talking to her so she can see you are interested in her and not just her body.
10) Ask her about herself, her hobbies, her likes and dislikes, then listen to her answers and remember them. This is truly complimentary and shows you sincerely want to get to know her better and are not just trying to get her into bed.
I hope this has explained a little bit of what women / ladies find creepy and what they find acceptable and potentially sexy in terms of men's mating behaviour and foreplay. Of course not all women are the same, so I invite any ladies reading this to add their own thoughts in the comments section and say what they find either "creepy" or "not creepy". With a bit of luck this will make it a little easier for men to understand how women's minds work and how they need to behave in order to impress their potential mates.
Good Luck Guys ;)