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"What Defines Us" by Rolly A. Chabot

Updated on May 6, 2013
Source

Welcome

We have near reached the time when the Fireside fires will not be lit again until the fall season. Just getting a little warm to be having fires but for tonight I have one burning just for you.

Welcome one and all I must clarify the last statement a little. The chats we have will still be here but I think we had better be using one of those TV fires to cut down on the heat.

I took Quigley for a walk this afternoon and the question came to mind that asked me what defines us as people. Male and female we are all alike really. We need to look deep at what makes us tick, what attracts people or what offends them about us.

Gather around and lets see where my ramblings lead tonight... Help yourself to coffee, tea and of course some hot chocolate. Please make yourself at home... above all no matter what I blabber about I want you to know that you are loved.

Willie The Cat

Source

He taught Me

This is Willie the cat. As silly as he looks, he had or had a personality. Not all that sure he is still around. To tell you the truth I think he was on his ninth life when we met. We met last summer at a cabin I rented on Galiano Island on the West coast of Canada. He well sort of came with the property. I had no idea Willie was the permanent resident but as fate would have it he was. He knew he belonged or maybe he was just a bum looking for a handout.

What was different about Willie is you either accepted him as he was. You see he was the boss of the cabin and had access through a second story window. He basically was the owner. I never did meet the owner of the property, just sent her a check for the stay. I think Willie was my guest whom happened to find a soft spot in me. Willie and I would spend hours just laying around. He had one of the loudest motors I have ever heard and would slobber all over you.

Could you love Willie is the question. Did Willie give a darn. The answer was no, he loved attention. A stroke along his back and a pull of his tail was all he looked for, well that and some high priced cat food that I later learned I was suppose to buy. His owners apparently forgot to buy food for him.

Willie is old, Willie has a matted coat and he cares not about what he looks like. Play with Willie and he may respond to a string or he may just sit there and look at you and wonder what are you doing. You see Willie just never cared. "Why?... well Willie was who Willie was, he was himself. No frills and not a care in the world.

Could we say that Willie was smart. I think so because he was just himself. But take Willie and turn him upside down and you had a friend for life, especially if you gave him a sound rubbing. I might add I was the only person who did and his affection was second to none. He was just being Willie. My question is can we just be ourselves no matter what we look like, no matter what people perceive in us. Barring the bad days do people like us the way we are. I hope so because if they do not, don't expect me to change. "Like Willie you get what you get."


Source

I am different

This rock was no different than the many thousands on the beach the day I took this picture. What stood out in my mind was the vegetation that had decided to call it home. It adorned itself aboard and was not about to let go.

You see both the rock and the vegetation depened on each other. Not much different than people in the sense that we seek others to care for us and look after us in those period of when the heat comes and we dry out. We depend on each other in so many ways.

It spoke to me that we are the same. We sit waiting and we are dead until we are recognized by another and love is spoken into us and we again come alive. You see we are all alike, we do need to have some recognition.

No matter where we are in life or what we do we need others to see us and say well done. The struggles we face are no different in many ways. I mean they do come to us, you know the struggles. it is often that we can look at them and point fingers and say "Yup its all your fault," when in reality it is all ours. I mean who made the decision to turn this way or that, come now own up to it... Yes it is all ours.

Can we be like Willie and just say, "Here I am. Like me or leave me, either way here I am." Do people cal us to be different to change according to their perception of us. Or is it the perception we want them to see in us?

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Are We Strong

Are we strong and reliable like this little guy. Do we climb to the top and seek the prize. If we do what pray tell is the prize. Is it possible the prize is acceptance? If so we need to ask ourselves what is the price we are willing to pay to be accepted. Are we willing to sell our souls to meet the approval of others.

I am a simple man in many ways. I can enjoy a bowl of popcorn while watching some senseless TV program. Some mindless sitcom that speaks of nothing but vanity. What harn does it do to entertain myself. Nothing really as long as you do not get caught up in the character and eventually live out the fantasy in real life.

Back in the earlier years many of us watched Archie Bunker. Yes he was funny and yes he played the role that many of us enjoyed being played out in real life. He personified who we really were in his words and his actions. Was it good for our egos, yes at the time. But really was his way and his view of the world what we are really made up of. You see I think what was so appealing was he was a man who spoke what was on his heart. He loved his wife Edith and his daughter and yet hated his new son-in-law.

Either you liked Archie or you soon began to hate him. Either way Archie was like Willie. He either grew on you or you turned away from him.

Take the roughest, toughest dirty filthy type biker guy you can imagine and place a puppy into his arms and he turns into a mushroom. Now that is real. It is the side of our personality that comes out when there is love involved. It is who we are, I mean we all have the gene of love. How we display it is how we want others to see us. We put on this hard or this soft shell yet down deep inside we have love. It is what makes the world go around.

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Cliches

Are we any different than these two rocks. I mean really we are the same... After all we live in the same world. No matter if you are the left or the right I need to accept you as you are. The minute I try and change you then there is conflict.

Have you ever heard them when we ask another "How are you doing?" The pat answer is always the same. "Great never been better." It is what we want to hear. We never want to hear the real struggles. Never want to get into the muck and the mire of someone else's issues, I mean heaven forbid.

The interesting part is we give the same answer. Why... Because we would hate to have someone actually look at us in a different light. I mean we all have it together right. Well I say "Bull Tweet." Sorry we have struggles, they may be related to marriage, finances, personal health or heaven forbid something very personal. It is all about perception and after all we do have our vanity to look after and maintain according to the standards we have set for ourselves, unlike Willie the cat.

That same pat answer saves us the embarrassment of having to be real. Take a moment and step in front of a mirror. Get rid of the Archie Bunker attitude and look at what you see. We are broken and we are searching for the ultimate standard. We all have something we suffer with, sometimes it is not pretty. We are not part of the red carpet people we follow through the Oscars. We are human but guess what so are the people we watch parade before our eyes. Think again if you think their lives are all glamorous. Theirs is a life of vanity and perception and what they would like us to think.

My problems are no different than yours in many ways. They are a reality and it is not until we admit to them do we find peace. To tell the truth will set us free. Strong or weak we all seek the same and that is to be loved and accepted. Test the theory sometime and when someone asks how you are, tell them you struggle. That is the real test of honesty and friendship when you say you struggle. If they are sincere and care about you and your well being they will stand with you. They will help carry your burden. If they turn away then they are Departure and they turn away and tell you about the sunshine.

Take the time today to listen, take the time to be a part of the lives of those you love and genuinely care about. Take the time an love and be loved. It is realness of life. Without it you are nothing, with it you are being who you are called to be.

Above all else know that you are loved... Be like Willie the cat and be yourself.... Know that you are loved and appreciated here today.... You are far more valued than you can ever imagine...

© Rolly A. Chabot


Some easy listening

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    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi pstraubie48... so very true... fail in telling someone you love them is so important and a must each day.

      Hugs and Love from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi pstraubie48... I do believe all can hear us when we take the time to speak. Speak from the heart and the greatest one can hear us... Thank you for the visit and the comment....

      Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Yes, for sure...take the time to listen and to share the lives of our loved ones, every day. One never knows when one of them may suddenly leave us and then it will be too late. O, of course, we can talk to them and know their spirit hears (if we believe that way) but it is not the same...at least not for me. So live today, grasp onto to today and living today without trying to be someone that we think others wish us to be...embrace today and share moments with loved ones. Angels are on the way ps

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Yes, for sure...take the time to listen and to share the lives of our loved ones, every day. One never knows when one of them may suddenly leave us and then it will be too late. O, of course, we can talk to them and know their spirit hears (if we believe that way) but it is not the same...at least not for me. So live today, grasp onto to today and living today without trying to be someone that we think others wish us to be...embrace today and share moments with loved ones. Angels are on the way ps

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Good Morning Eddy... you are so precious my friend... such a blessing when you visit... love sharing with you.

      Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Good Morning aviannovice ... THank you for the visit and the comment and I agree with you. Having another stand with you in the hard times grows new character and appreciation for us.

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Good Morning whonunuwho... Thanks for the compliment and of course the visit to the Fireside. Very kind of you...

      Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Christy... Thanks for commenting and good to see you again. Willie is special to say the least. Personality with attitude. You would love Willie.

      Hugs and Blessings from Alberta

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Nell ... Thanks for stopping. Love is the very basic need we all have in life. When we feel it we want to share it.

      I have started to feel much better. The headaches are still there but not nearly as severe and trust me that is a blessing.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi AliciaC... Thank you as always for spending some time at the Fireside with me. Always a blessing to have you...

      Many Hugs and Blessings from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Always... you know something years ago I was a great deal like you. Always trying to please others. Several years ago I came to the conclusion it was far to much like work to carry so many different personalities around. Today I am just me. It sounds to me like you and I have travelled the same roads. Be you and love yourself and it makes it so much easier to love others...

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Such a wonderful read and I love your outlook on life ; let us share hubs on here for a long time to come.

      Enjoy your day my dear friend.

      Eddy.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      The simplest things in life are that we make a living, and are reasonably happy. Sometimes when things are hard, it is nice if there is someone there that will tell us that they understand. Just that simple statement can make all the difference in the world. If we have nobody other than Willie, that is all right, too.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi drbj... Can we made a difference... without a doubt with a little kindness and love. We may not know it at the time but there is a day when we will know...

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi tlpoague... Thank you and yes we do face them but what is important is how we come out the other side. Conforming to others can change us from who we are called to be. There are times when that is good, yet other times we know we just need to be who we are called to be.

      Hugs and Blessings

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 4 years ago from United States

      I enjoyed your fine message and the down-to-earth manner in which you write, my friend. Thank you for sharing this wonderful work. whonu

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Willie sounds like a wonderful cat :) I like your observations about our world, dear friend.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi Rolly, I hope you are feeling better now, your words are so true, and I loved the story of the cat and the rock, no we are not that different. We all need love and someone to listen to us, thats what makes us feel a part of the whole, wonderful hub, hugs nell

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Deb... you are so right about love and caring for others. There still some people who are hard to love. What we need to is find the positives about them and it becomes a bases for love to grow... Like you say it is what we are called to do.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lady Guinevere... thank you for stepping into the Fireside. It has been a while since we have been in contact. Great to have you here.

      We are all created and wonderfully made and yes for a purpose. The more we like the person we are I truly think the better a friend you can be to another.

      Hugs and Blessings

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lisa... thanks for the visit and welcome to the Fireside... a blessing to hear you enjoyed your stay...

      Many Hugs and Blessings

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      As usual, you have shared some very important thoughts and ideas with us, Rolly. Thank you.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
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      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Faith Reaper... Thanks for the kind words and for loving the Willie's of the world. Willie was a great teacher, give him a little and he was good until the next time. I think we are all the same. Love is what makes the word we live in go around, without what do we have... Really nothing.

      Hugs and Love from Canada

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I think we all need a fix daily, I know i do. To be loved and feel love for another is wonderful. I work at being myself which has been difficult for me. A lifetime of denial is not easily repaired. Willie is the smart one, he wants nothing more than love and a friend. There was a time when i wanted the world, now i would just love to play with Willie. I am content and i am thankful. Cheers..

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      You have emphasized, once again, Rolly, that we all - no matter who we are - need to love and be loved. And human beings have another additional need that is not always satisfied. The need to feel important! And we can do that with as little as a smile, a wave of the hand, or a genuine, "How are you today?"

    • tlpoague profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from USA

      It is a difficult trail to follow...to be loved as you are...or to try and conform to others. What defines us a Christians is the love and acceptance of others, and ourselves, despite physical or mental conditions. Terrific ramblings this morning. Poor Willie, I hope you find him safe and sound.

      God Bless,

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Sorry got kicked off. The

      Word love is so special.. Jesus teaches us to love each other..to care what happens to each

      Other.. your hub is very special.

      God bless you my friend

      Deb

    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 4 years ago from West By God

      Wow this is what I was meant to see at this part of my life and I thank you. Just being me like Willie is being himself is hard. You are correct in tht others want you to be in their perception, but stepping back isn't that what I want too deep down. We all want to be loved and we all need to feel like we belong. Those of us who do not conform to the masses have it hard. I AM ME and nobody else. I was made this way and I will continue to be this way as long as I AM on this planet. Each of us has a mission in this life and some of us just want to be like Willie.

      I voted this up and rated it all across the board. I will share it too.

    • Lisa Luv profile image

      Lisa J Warner 4 years ago from Conneticut, USA

      Wonderful! nice pictures too! I am voting up and sharing. May you always be greatly blessed...

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dearest Rolly,

      What lovely and profound thoughts with which to start one's day! Yes, above all else, we must love no matter what, and love others just as they are, and that is what is most important, as you have stated here so well.

      I love how you used Willie to make your point, very clever.

      Voted up ++++ and sharing

      Have a lovely day and please know you are loved, Faith Reaper