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The Secrets to Understanding What Men Want (in a woman)

Updated on February 4, 2016

Do You Understand Men?

Having trouble understanding men? In order to answer the question "What do men want?" you first have to understand the difference between the male brain and the female brain, which isn't that hard. The female brain, though it gets confused when queried with questions like "what do men want?" is generally a logical thing that is occasionally clouded by emotion. Still, when the female brain goes off kilter, emotion is usually the culprit.

Understanding men involves understanding the male brain. The male brain is like that funny-shaped shell you find while strolling the beach. You pick it up and notice that it doesn't look like any of the other shells, so you turn it over in your hands, trying to figure out whether it's a real shell or some part from a sun tent that broke off as a family was hastily packing it away or maybe it's a part from some old child's toy. You walk a little ways, looking at it intently, until you finally give up, flinging the shell into the ocean in hopes that no other person will happen upon it and go through the same infuriating thought process as you.

So that brings us to the question: what do men want? Though women the world over might beat their collective heads against the wall trying to figure out what men want, actually understanding men doesn't have to be filled with frustration. I intend for the following article to give you full insight into the male brain so that when somebody asks 'what do men want?' you will know the answer.

What does this gentleman want?
What does this gentleman want?

What do men want (assuming sex is #1)?

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It's true. Guys want different things.
It's true. Guys want different things.

What Do Men Really Want?

To Be in Charge - You may be married to the wishiest, washiest man in the entire world. When you ask him whether he wants paper or plastic, he prevaricates for ten minutes and finally wets his pants before fainting. Nevertheless, he still wants to feel like he's in charge. And the fact that you asked him whether he prefers paper or plastic shows that you don't know how to ask a man a question and you have a long way to go in understanding men 101. Men generally don't care about decisions they consider minor, like paint color or what kind of shoes you should wear or what to feed the baby. A man understand the female brain well here. He understands that women almost always have a better sense on certain things and can't figure out why we're even asking him. However, ask him what kind of paint to buy or to find a combination of tools to open the paint can using only his teeth and he's all over that.

To Do Things Himself - A man who can't accomplish a task by himself might as well be a eunuch. Men want you to give them a challenge and then for you to get out of the way so they can solve it. It doesn't really matter what it is - from painting a wall to changing a tire to figuring out why something is leaking. This is another key to understanding men. What they don't want is for you to stand over them and try to explain what you think might be the problem or for you to give them suggestions about what to do after you've asked them to fix something. If a man wants you for something, he'll ask. Otherwise, a man wants to be left alone and wants praise after he's done what you asked him to do even if you think the result might merit a call to a professional. Just make that call when he's not home.

To Do Things Their Way and Figure Out Themselves When There's a Better Way - This is related to the last point. You may know everything about a particular subject. You may be the best at organizing bookshelves for example. Then you watch in horror as a man starts what might be the stupidest bookshelf organizing strategy in the history of the universe. Just let it go. A man wants to do it his way. If it's stupid, he doesn't want somebody else pointing it out. He'll always be so much happier to figure out how stupid it is himself. If you can drop subtle hints and keep from taking away from his opportunity to learn the err of his ways himself, you'll be better off in the end. Just give him some time to figure out that what he's done is idiotic instead of jumping on him right away unless the idiotic thing is life-threatening, like putting knives where your three-year-old can grab them or teetering glassware on rickety furniture.

Man Time - Men want man time. The female brain often cannot grasp this concept and it's vitally important. If you are a woman and you are all over your man like a tight t-shirt, then you are going to drive him away. No matter what a man says about how much he loves you, he desperately wants time with the guys. First of all, men give other men a lot of crap about being whipped, which means that the man isn't allowed to do things without his woman's say so. If you're man is in this position, that means his friends look on you as some kind of slave-driver and he's going to start feeling like he's not a man anymore. Give your man space and encourage him to spend time with his friends. Just make sure you both agree on how much time that is.

A Good Cook - Though by itself it doesn't mean anything, it's part of the package. If you've got everything else going for you, but you can't cook, then you're probably alright. However, if you're a terrible cook who thinks she's a good cook, this can be a problem. If the guy has to find excuses not to eat your cooking, he's going to find somewhere else to eat. Know what I mean? Unless your man is a chef or weird, he's probably not going to want to cook that much and if you want to have a successful long-term relationship, cooking can give you a leg up. Your man will appreciate it.

Sex - While it's no secret that men, from the first second they meet a woman they're attracted to, want to bed them, a less common concept that's often overlooked is that while most men want to hit the bedroom early and often, what they really want is for the woman to enjoy the experience as much as they do. I won't belabor a lot of the stuff you can read in the "Penthouse Forum" about how men want their bedroom experiences to go, but I can guarantee you that if you're trying to please your man at the expense of your own enjoyment, the man will figure it out sooner or later, but probably later. Still, eventually he'll be unhappy about it.


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