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What Happened To Just Good Old Natural Love

Updated on February 1, 2015


Lately I have realized a trend starting to form, whether is on social media, or books. They always begin with the title "How to Love". There are different kinds, how to love a wild woman, how to love an extrovert, how to love a bad boy, etc. You get the picture. But what happened to good old love? The kind of love that just shows up naturally and catches you by surprise, the kind of love that requires no articles to be written about it because the love itself is the best written romance book in your life. What happened to just falling in love, without a title, without rules, without ways to do it right.

It seems like we are relying so much on others to show us the way, that now normal love is becoming old fashion. If you fall in love with a person, I believe you are falling in love with their soul, whether they are an introvert, or a wild child, that doesn't matter, because after all, we don't choose to fall in love, it just happens. We shouldn't be reading about how to love another person, at least to me, it doesn't seem natural. The authors that write these articles, are doing it from their own experiences, which is great, but what comes naturally for them, should never become a go to resource.

I remember the day I met my husband, almost 12 years ago. Did I think he was handsome? Yes. But did that stop me from going on a feminist rant when he ran to open the door for me? no. I wasn't looking for love, I was a traveler, I was enjoying my freedom and my youth, but 12 years later here we are, with a family of our own, still laughing at the day we met. We are completely opposites, he loves to be around people, and I enjoy solitude, he loves planning everything, and I live my life at the moment. We couldn't be anymore different, but that is why it works for us. We have learned so much from each other, yet, he respects my introverted ways, as I respect his extroverted lifestyle. I fell in love with him, while trying to avoid the whole love thing, same with him. We never planned to fall in love, we just did. Never once have I felt the need to read on how can I love this extroverted man. Or how can I love someone who is my opposite? No. It just happened, naturally, without a plan, without rules, without directions.

I have to say, I have read many articles on "How to Love" only because I find the writer's view as poetry, because they are writing from the heart. But what happens when we read these articles in search of advice? What if your wild woman, isn't the same kind of wild as theirs, so you just feel like "maybe she isn't the one". I know that sounds a bit crazy, but seriously, what if?

I don't believe that to love you need an instruction manual, because even if there was one, it wouldn't work for you. You are your own person, your love is unique, and the only thing that will work, is not wanting the love itself, but more like feeling the love. Don't analize it, just let it bloom. Don't plan it, just let it develop. I believe that the more you want it, the less it will happen, or the more easier it will break, because then you are putting pressure on it. You should never pressure love. You should never force it. Just feel it forming, and enjoy it. Focus on that moment, and soak it in, because after all, life is full of turns and surprises, and you never want to lose something, because you are too busy planning it.


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