What I Like(d) About You
I should have known better. The rule of thumb is if it seems like it's too good to be true, it probably is.
You know that feeling you get when you first start seeing someone you really like? That crazy little nerve bubble in your belly....That "This person truly understands me, and I would move Heaven and Earth just to be near them, because they're pretty close to perfect" feeling? Where does it go? After a few days, weeks, months... Sometimes years... It just evaporates. Most people can't pinpoint the very moment it all went south.
This started as such a beautiful friendship. We knew from the start there was so much potential for more, and we didn't rush it. We went out of our way not to. It's so easy to push these things and spoil them forever. We didn't. We took our time. We talked. About everything. Literally everything. Regular me would have been impatient and bored. "Yeah, yeah yeah..." I would have thought... "Let's just quit yapping and get to the good part already." That didn't happen with her... It was only a few months, and I felt like I knew her. Like, really knew her... The girl she truly was deep inside her soul. The person she hides from everyone else. Deep beneath the surface. Below the posturing, and the ego. Under the crust. No pretense. Just the real person. When we finally kissed for the first time, it felt like magic. The first time I heard her cry, I wanted to murder whoever or whatever caused the tears to fall.
I know what you guys are thinking. That was my first mistake. But listen... This wasn't like other budding relationships. When I say we discussed everything before it started to actually turn into a romantic thing.. I do mean everything. Including, but not limited to, how we would conduct ourselves towards each other in the event of a romantic relationship.
To be fair, I had baggage.. Lots of it. She knew it. It was discussed. At great length. We also agreed that, no matter what, we would be completely honest with each other. We wouldn't let things fester.. As they often do. The whole thing would be built on Trust and Mutual Respect. Sounds fantastic, right? We were both so completely self aware, it was disgusting.
Long story short... I happen to have been deep in the bowels of a catastrophically messy divorce. For months, she was my rock. I was floored by her limitless patience and understanding. She always had a smile on her face. We talked through everything. It was her.. And her alone, that kept me from jumping out of a window. When I would start to falter, she knew exactly what to say for the circumstances to pull me out of the drain.... Whether it be to offer some comforting words, or to just tell me to "quit being a pussy." and to "hike up my skirt, pick up my balls, and man up." She picked up the tab when we went out, drove my drunk ass home.. She went out of her way to make me happy. This eagerness to please was downright infectious. I was the nicest guy ever in return. I let her listen to her annoying Disney station on my Pandora in the truck every day. I even took her to see New Moon. Twice.
And... Not to be outdone.. She cooked her ass off.
Fat dudes love chicks that can cook.
I didn't even need to ask. The bitch just MADE ME SANDWICHES. For no reason. All of the time.
My point is, it all started with her. Her overall niceness made me want to reciprocate. My ex never got that. The crazier she got, the more of an asshole I became.
This girl seemed to understand. I make him enough spaghetti and meatballs to make his eyeball twitch, then please him orally, and he goes down on me for an hour and a half, and treats me like a goddess.
Of course, all of my friends had known her for years. They came at me with all kinds of discouraging words about her. Despite everything I had seen with my own eyes to the contrary, they warned me that it was all just an act. They swore up and down that, while she may be saying and doing all of the right things now, eventually her true colors will show. According to them, she is a petulant, arrogant, spoiled, scared little girl that is prone to pouting, random crying, and figuratively stomping her feet when she doesn't get her way.
This girl is flawless. I see a future with her. Maybe a kid or two.
She was everything my ex-wife wasn't. Beautiful, young, smart, independent... She had a job. Her own car.. Hell, she had a license. Which is in and of itself was miles above what I was used to. She was fantastic with my daughter. She understood that the kid comes first, and was comfortable with me blowing her off occasionally to hang out with my scumbag friends...
Then... One day it just happened. She went from being my soul mate, to being every single crazy girl that I have ever slept with, complete with all of the ridiculous , nonsensical chick shit that makes me want to stab myself in the face.
To be continued...