Just My Luck...His Mother Doesn't Like Me
A turn of recent events has my mind churning. So, I've decided to have an open dialog with my fellow hubbers and friends on an issue that effects relationships, courtships, and marriages everywhere. We know that most men love their mamas dearly but what happens when the mother isn't dearly loving her son's girlfriend, fiancé, or wife? Just how much does a mother’s approval matter?
I was having a conversation with a gentleman recently who seemed convinced that he could not move forward with a woman unless he had the approval of his mother. I, like many other women find it very appealing when a man loves and cares for his mother. However it would bother me if the fate of my relationship was dependant on the opinion of her. Don't get me wrong, mothers can be very intuitive and insightful but what happens when they're cunning and selfish? While there are many mothers who have a healthy love for their sons and respect their relationships, there are also those women who feel as if they should have the privilege of hand picking a spouse for their sons themselves. Then, there are those mamas that every woman dreads, the one who is determined to run away any and every woman who tries to get close to her baby boy. And believe me…many have been successful at doing so. What saddens me is that their resistance to cut the cord, and the man’s inability to emotionally leave the nest, is often detrimental to his love life. Mama’s boys are cute when their your boys but they can be a handful for suitable women to deal with. For that reason…some of them end up alone. Honestly speaking, how many women do you know that are willing to put up with their mother in law being a ventriloquist to their husband or man? Not many…if any at all. In fact, any woman who puts up with this type of foolery deserves whatever negative consequence birthed out of the mess she helped create.
After a man is married and has a family, mama can still be in the forefront but his wife and family ought to be his top priority. In reality, it is just plain disrespectful for a man to give his mother the #1 preferential spot in his life when he is married. While dating is different because it is less serious, the man he is during the courtship period is a snapshot of who he'll be in the long run. If he allows his mom to run his household, consults her before making every major decision, and refuses to address her interfering in his love life, he is likely to drag this same madness and mayhem into a marriage. Sisters, fellow hubbers, and friends... if you encounter anything like this, you may as well run for the hills. A man who allows this sort of interference is indicating that he doesn’t take marriage vows seriously. I believe there's a vow conveniently located somewhere near the “I Do” but before the seal the deal wedding kiss that states: Therefore,a man should leave his father and his mother and should cleave to his wife. Genesis 2:24
The bottom line is, it is great when a man has a loving relationship with his mother (in fact most women would prefer that) but there has to be a balance. His wife should NEVER feel as if she comes in 2nd place. So ladies, if his mother isn't liking you for justifiable reasons like your being disrespectful, cheating, or gold digging then you have some decisions to make. Just how important is it that your spouse's mom like you? If it's at the top of your priority list, you may want to reevaluate your man's suitability. Perhaps you just need to communicate your feelings to him and see if he respects you enough to address your problems with his mother. If he blows you off or attempts to rationalize her unwelcoming behavior toward you, it might be best you keep it moving. Now, if he respects your feelings and tries to do something about your discomfort, he's a keeper. That said, I'll pose this question again for you to ponder... Just how important is it that his mother likes you???