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What Incites Great Love in Men?

Updated on September 6, 2014
What Made Romeo Love Juliet To Death?
What Made Romeo Love Juliet To Death? | Source

Nietzsche on the Source of Great Love

When does the sudden passion of a man for a woman arise? Least of all from sensuality only, but when a man finds weakness, need for help and high spirits, all united in the same creature he suffers a sort of overflowing of soul and is touched and offended at the same moment. At this point arises the source of great love.” – Nietzsche

So said the great thinker who said that men should be supermen, joyous and invincible like the gods themselves… because he alleged that god is dead. But in the end Nietzsche committed suicide. Where was his invincibility? Did he really understand the true source of love?

Twenty nine year old Apurva Giri believes that what Nietzsche said is true. His own affections are wildly aroused for women who seem in need of some sort of help, and yet are courageous and cheerful.

But according to 78 year old Gordon Hindley, what Nietzsche says is nonsense.

“Women were terribly alive in Europe – ever since the times of Jane Austen. I think that when a man sees a weak woman he feels superior and thus glories in himself. When he sees a bubbly woman he sees a reciprocity of his own sexual urges. There is in between these two extremes the timidity of a woman and the strength of a man, but the timidity is only superficial. We must consider the woman’s reaction to her environment which accounts for her timidity and her natural strength which is revealed in her caring motherhood, capacity for good friendships and great companionship.”

What Makes A Man Love A Woman?
What Makes A Man Love A Woman? | Source

Do Weak Women Incite Love?

Let us also consider what Lekha D, 30, a highly successful career woman has to say on this complex subject: “What is weakness? My lover tells me that he adores me because I have faced my misfortunes with great courage and have them handled them all by myself, being quite relative-less in the world. Sure, I may have this ‘weakness’ which really translates into a feeling of insecurity since I must fight my battles myself, and not depend on a lover or a father. But I know I can do it and this is what he loves about me...even when in need of help, I can overcome.”

“I don’t really know what is meant by ‘weakness’,” says Rima, 29. “Does it mean that I give myself totally to the man I love? Although I am pretty powerful in my career, I am totally submissive to him when we’re in bed. Is it weak to weep at times? I do that. Is it weak to follow my impulse and go to another city to meet a lover? Are you stronger when you wait for him to come to you? But there must be no ego involved in love. One must give all, without holding back, and yet one must be able to detach oneself when and if it’s over.”

Was Nietzsche Right About Love?
Was Nietzsche Right About Love? | Source

Gender Equality as the Basis For Great Love

In his book ‘About Love’, Robert Solomon insists that equality is the basis of great love. When lovers are in the same career, there is bound to be competition. He points out, when a woman feels like a failure in her professional life, this feeling will seep into her love life too.

Neitzsche was surely confused. When he spoke of supermen, he believed that they could only love damsels in distress. It’s what made them feel like gods.

Tut, tut.

Relationship Expert, Dr. D Ivan Young, Finding your soul mate...Finding Real Love

© 2014 Anita Saran


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    • Anita Saran profile image

      Anita Saran 3 years ago from Bangalore, India

      Thank you grand old lady for the comment. I wonder whether femme fatales have more men who love them. I know many women love 'bad" men. Bad men seem to have a magnetic attraction for them.

      And Dashingscorpio - thank you for the insights.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      Ordinarily, I'd say a man's great love is really an individual case for each one. But admittedly, there are some women who are real man killers. They just seem to have all the things that make a man go crazy over them, and they never run out of men who love them.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      I don't believe there are any real "gender shortcuts" when it comes to what men and women want. One has to be willing to invest the time to learn what that specific (man) or (woman) wants.

      People look for different traits in a mate. One man may want a woman who earns as much money as him or has a head for business. Another man may want a woman to support him emotionally and handle home affairs so he can focus on establishing a career that will take care of them.

      In the end both relationships are "partnerships".

      Today if a woman says or acts like she "needs a man" other women look at her as though she is (weak). However a man says he "needs a woman" no man thinks of him as being "weak".

      It has also been my observation that it's women who worry the most about (losing themselves) in a relationship/marriage.

      In the U.S. there is this internal battle going on between women who are "progressive" and those who are "traditionalist".

      The progressive women want men to see them as being their (equal) in all facets of life including sexuality. The traditionalist women want men to see them as being (special) or as something delicate to be wooed and protected. Both groups blame the other for how men treat them.

      Today members of both groups still to choose to attack each other for holding them back from doing what (they) want instead of looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for their own happiness! One woman's life choices should not affect another woman's life choices.

      Fortunately there are men looking for both types of women. It just frustrates women when they're with a man who is looking for the other type of woman.

    • Anita Saran profile image

      Anita Saran 3 years ago from Bangalore, India

      Thanks for pointing that out chef-de-jour and good to know that about Nietzsche!

    • chef-de-jour profile image

      Andrew Spacey 3 years ago from Near Huddersfield, West Yorkshire,UK

      Hi Anita, thank you for asking the question of men and love, weakness and superiority. Nietzsche was a sensitive soul and longed for the ideal great love in his life - unconditional, pure, without prejudice or bias - but couldn't find it in his everyday dealings with the world.

      I have to point out that some of your paragraphs are repeated and need looking at!