ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

What I've Learned About Forgiveness

Updated on June 6, 2012

What I've Learned About Forgiveness

1. Sometimes as much as we might want to forgive someone, something inside of us won't let us. Perhaps it is our heart's way of protecting us. Or maybe we can't truly forgive someone for the wounds they've caused us until the bleeding stops. And sometimes after days, years, even months the bleeding still hasn't stopped. And then one day, we wake up to discover that where the wound used to be is now only a scar. And at that point forgiveness becomes a million times easier because scars can only hurt us as much as we let them.

2. For some of us, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. But it is really important to learn to do so. We can't let our own guilt and the mistakes that we have made in the past define us. We need to remind ourselves that even the greatest among us have done things that they regret and in some cases have sins even much greater than ours. And if they have overcome their sins then we can overcome ours. We need to practice forgiving ourselves every day, we need to forbid ourselves from dwelling on past failures, and we need to stop feeling guilty for a past we cannot change. It is essential to not let our own guilt destroy us or the inability to forgive ourselves prevent us from all the great things we can accomplish today and in the future.

3. Our ability to forgive someone for the ways in which they have hurt us isn't always rational. Things build up inside us in ways that we cannot understand. Sometimes in relationships we might forgive someone a hundred times for things they have done, even very terrible things. Then, all of a sudden, they do something that we find ourselves unable to forgive. Suddenly, one night, or moment, or action impacts us in such a way that as hard as we try we can't forget about it or move on from it. And it doesn't always make sense, because we know we have forgiven them for much greater sins in the past, so why is this time different? The final blow isn't always the hardest, sometimes it's just the one that hits us where we are least expecting it, or when we no longer have the strength or ability to fight back.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      IntegrityYes 5 years ago

      I definitely voted up. Rock on!

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Oh, have I ever been where you've been. I wrote a hub about it too. There are absolutely some universal themes, and this is one of them. Good luck in your efforts. Sharing

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image

      Ruchi Urvashi 5 years ago from Singapore

      Meaningful thoughts about forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift which we give to ourselves when we forgive others.

    • Koshaugh profile image

      Kara Monterey 5 years ago from Indianapolis

      Very true, sometimes I think an inability to forgive as much as we might want to is our heart's way of saying "enough is enough." Otherwise it is too easy to keep going back to a situation or person that hurts us and is bad for us, again and again.

    • Sunnygirl52 profile image

      Sunnygirl52 5 years ago

      Very inspirational. Sometimes, forgiveness is not so easy and if you have forgiven the same person over and over, sometimes it is just as easy to forgive yourself for "not" forgiving that person again! :)

    • Koshaugh profile image

      Kara Monterey 5 years ago from Indianapolis

      Thank you!

    • ananceleste profile image

      Anan Celeste 5 years ago from California

      Great hub!

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      Forgiveness is not ethically or morally right but also is an indicator of mental well-being.

      This hub blended with life lesson is very inspiring.

    • profile image

      Yaazhini 5 years ago


      It was a good hub. I appreciate the way you have presented your thoughts about forgiving ourselves. The only thing is, there are some people in the world whom one can never forgive for the sins they committed against other humans.

    • Koshaugh profile image

      Kara Monterey 5 years ago from Indianapolis

      Thanks so much!

    • Wehzo profile image

      Nathaniel Stalling Jr 5 years ago from Detroit, MI

      I love this hub Koshaugh,

      Very well written. Thank you for sharing it.

      God Bless,