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What Love Is and What Love Isn't

Updated on October 29, 2019
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Relationship Guru. Dani is in a successful and very happy same-sex marriage.

My wife and I
My wife and I | Source

Love. A Complicated But Simple Subject

Have you ever felt like your heart was going to explode, or you were just going to melt if you looked in the direction of that special someone? Did your heart flutter a little bit? Did you find yourself winded? Love is an emotion that catches you off guard; it feels like it comes out of nowhere and then suddenly, your word is flipped upside down.

Loving someone, truly, loving someone involves time, effort, frustration, heartache, but also reward for growing together (watering each other's souls).

Love doesn't always have to be romantic either. Love is showing that person that just really grinds your gears to nubs a bit of warmth by maybe saying a simple, "Hello," to them. Love is forgiving. Love is complimenting someone who looks good because you want to make their day and show them kindness.

Love is a commodity in this world. This world is full of hatred, anger, envy, jealousy, dishonesty, and greed. To a degree, I'm met in the world with quite a bit of hate in the world because I strive to be a kind person (which isn't always easy, especially when it's someone I strongly dislike).

Water each other's souls. Together.

Why Is Love A Commodity?

Love is not a tangible commodity that can be held, it's a feeling that one expresses out of feelings of joy and warmth, but in this world that we all live in, it's easier to hate.

It's easier to hate your happy and successful friend who has the house you wanted, the partner you wanted, and the relationship you wanted. It's easier to put down that friend down because you feel that they might deserve it because they have an easier life and need to be "brought down a peg or two." It's easier to project those feelings of self-loathing and self-hatred at someone, well, happy, when you just aren't. It's natural.

BUT, let's change that natural instinct of hate into a positive like love. Instead of spending time hating and seething over that friend, be nice to them, compliment them, show them kindness because I guarantee you, that will mean the world to that friend (who already is met daily with so much hate). When you show someone love, it goes so much further than hate does. It lasts. That person remembers that kindness shown to them. It makes their day.

The natural instinct is to hate.

Loving Relationships

What is a loving relationship? A loving relationship is one where two people communicate frequently and successfully, listen to each other, laugh together, never go to bed angry even if it's 4am in the morning and you work at 8am the next day, give to each other, and generally, feel happy together.

If you don't feel any of this or only parts, look at your relationship and really examine how it functions. Do you put each other down often? Do you find the need to control what your partner does? Do you have feelings of mistrust? Do you feel scared of your partner, in any way? Below is a quiz that levels the toxicity in your relationship.

Remember, you deserve to be loved and treated well.

Remember, you deserve to be loved, not abused by the hatred in the world.

Am I In An Abusive Relationship?

view quiz statistics

© 2019 Dani Moore


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