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What Makes The Perfect Man

Updated on July 2, 2010
Photograph Courtesy of David Niblack
Photograph Courtesy of David Niblack

Is it possible for any one man to be perfect?

The answer is a subjective one, simply because every woman has her own idea of the perfect man. It boils down to how he makes you feel. However, there are basic qualities that we all desire in the perfect man.

There are many characteristics that each of us consider must have's in a man which will contribute to his perfection. Below are twenty-one which women generally include on their list, and they are listed in alphabetical order rather than preference or importance, because again, that is entirely subjective. With the exception of Attraction, though we may not want to admit it, this tops our lists, because when it comes to "Mr. Right" there must be attraction.

And just for fun, take the 'Is He The Perfect Man Quiz' at the end, it's not meant for psycho-analysis, it's all in fun.

Common Qualities of the Perfect Man

  • Attraction. We're not using the word Attractive because that's obvious, yet, it is more than that. It's the eye catch across a crowded room, eyes lock and everyone and everything else fades away. A force that draws two people together, that is Attraction. In the perfect man, this Attraction doesn't fade after the first few months or even years. Does he still make your pulse race when he walks into a room?
  • Affectionate. Doesn't mind holding hands or kissing in public. Likes to stroke your hair when you're telling him how your day was. Enjoys touching you and being touched. Loves a good hug or to wrap his arms around your waist.
  • A good communicator. He not only provides stimulating conversation, but shares his wants, desires and feelings with ease.
  • A good listener. He's looking you in the eye as you are talking, but is he really listening? If he is a good listener, then he is. He's genuinely interested in your thoughts, ideas and feelings. He listens, he remembers. A good listener will know your needs without having to ask twice. Why? Because he listened the first time.
  • Confidence. A man who has the feeling or consciousness of his own power or in his own abilities. Not pompous, but that quiet self confidence that he knows who he is, and what he wants and has the belief in himself to attain it.
  • Considerate. If he's considerate, he's thoughtful of the rights and feelings of others. Especially yours.
  • Fatherhood Potential. It is difficult to tell exactly what kind of father he will be until the children actually arrive. However, there are some telltale signs of good Fatherhood Potential; Does he talk about his desires to have children and why he wants to have children? Does he just want one maybe two tops or does he want a big family because, hey isn't that what life is all about? Is he gentle, playful and interested in others' children?
  • Hard Working. To be successful in life takes hard work. He's not afraid to get in there and get his hands dirty to get the job done and he'll persist until it is done.
  • Honest. The perfect man must be honest! Not only in telling you truths, but honesty with his own feelings, wants and desires.
  • Humble. He knows who he is, but he doesn't feel the need to constantly tell everyone who he is and of his many accomplishments.
  • Independent. He is successful in his own right. Can make decisions on his own, not entirely dependent on you and your input or contribution to the relationship. Whether financially or intellectually. He must be able to take care of himself and have his own thoughts and ideas. Definitely not clingy or overly dependant.
  • Integrity. Firm adherence to a code of moral or ethical values. He's a man of his word, he sticks to what he believes is right.
  • Not So Perfect. Let's face it, if he was perfect all the time, would we really want that? No. Brings to mind the movie of the robotic wives, always perfect in every way, but a little creepy. Besides if they were perfect, what would there be to debate over, disagree about, argue with, and there wouldn't be the wonderful make-up sex now would there?
  • Dependable. To be able to rely on and trust that he will be there. Not at your every whim, but when it truly matters.
  • Respectful. How does he treat you in front of others? Nothing worse than a man who is disrespectful to you in front of other people. He holds you, your thoughts and feelings in high regard. Does he have respect for others, for women in general? How he treats others will eventually be how he treats you.
  • Romantic. Ah, romance. Some men understand without having to ask. They'll slow dance with you in a parking lot after dinner. Bring hand picked wild flowers, just because. Write you little poems or notes. Kiss your hand. Whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Watch romantic movies with you, even if he doesn't admit it to his friends.
  • Sense of Humor. What better than a man who can make you laugh! From telling you the latest funny joke, watching comedies and roaring with laughter, to his perspective on life and finding humor in it.
  • Shared Values. In the long term this may be one of the most important things to consider in "a perfect man". Do you want and believe in the same things in life? Do you have the same views on marriage and raising children? Are you on the same page when it comes to morals and ethics?
  • Spontaneous. FUN! Willingness to set aside caution and the remote and go and do something exciting with you. To try new things and in spur of the moment.
  • Trustworthy. When he walks out the door, your trust in him should not go out the door with him. You have to be able to believe that he is not doing anything intentionally to hurt you.
  • Willingness to Compromise. Not to say that he is or will be wishy-washy and bend to your wants every time. Compromise is a mutual necessity for a long term relationship.

Take the "Is He The Perfect Man?" Quiz

view quiz statistics

Met your perfect mate? Disagree that he is out there somewhere? Did I miss one of your must have qualities? Feel free to comment below.


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      my boyfriend an i are having a hard time because at the begining of our relationship we attracted each other but now , i just don't.. but he does.. but he has every other quality.. i feel confused lost an i do love him! :/ but how i feel is hirt because im hurting him.

    • profile image

      Boateng Benjamin 

      7 years ago

      Thank u so much!

    • emmy1980 profile image


      8 years ago from North Carolina

      Excellent list!

    • profile image

      Gospel O 

      8 years ago

      Hi,i really appreciate this page.i'm from Nigeria,single but i like this because it will help me in future,thanks

    • matt6v33 profile image


      9 years ago from Bangkok, Thailand

      young lady, thanks so much for this.. for this food for thought, has reminded this "Imperfect" one, to examine himself daily, to ensure i strive daily, in the right direction with all of thee above... Good Work on this! and thanks...

      just me!


    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      9 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you JannyC, I always value your comments.

    • JannyC profile image


      9 years ago

      So very true Missi. Well written!

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      9 years ago from Southern California

      DjBryle well thank you! Beautifully said and yes so true. Thank you for your comment.

    • Missi Darnell profile imageAUTHOR

      Missi Darnell 

      9 years ago from Southern California

      msorensson, thank you as always for your comments and support.

    • DjBryle profile image


      9 years ago from Somewhere in the LINES of your MIND, and HOPEFULLY at the RIPPLES of your HEART. =)

      Impressive hub, Missi! I just love how you describe the "Mr. Perfect"... truly, perfection is defined with no uniformity, but once we find someone who can take us as we are and who can love us despite of and in spite of, we know that we are perfectly loved even if we are in an imperfect world. Thanks for sharing! =)

    • msorensson profile image


      9 years ago

      Great hub, Missi. Thanks.


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