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The List

Updated on April 13, 2010

Several Years ago I wrote a list of all the things I would want in a man. I recently burned that list and sent it off into the sky, out into the universe, out beyond my realm of control. Why? Because I am tired of holding on to things. I think maybe if I let it go it will come back to me eventually.

In my years of life I have never met the perfect man. Not in my Father, my two husbands, my sons, my friends men, or anywhere else. I know there is no such man, no one is perfect. I have, however, met some that have come somewhat close but were not available in one way or another. I am happy for those women who have those men, they are truly blessed. Hang on to them, girls. They are very few and far between. Treat them right and they will be at your side. Don't take them for granted.

In my eyes what makes a good man is simple and complicated at the same time, I suppose. The man I would want for me has to love me, first and foremost, for who I am. Sometimes love just grows into something special, it is not always love at first sight. That is something I have never experienced. I am sure that it happens, I have heard tell of it. I bet that is quite a feeling.

I would want him to be honest, trustworthy and able to commit. Have a grand sense of humor. Easy going, one that does not like to argue but to talk things out. Someone to share with me his feelings and allow me to share mine as well. I am completely faithful and would expect the same from him. He would never have to worry if he had to go out of town to work, I would be waiting eagerly for his return. I would absolutely want him as my best friend, my soulmate. I would want him to be secure in himself. Although I would surely praise him and lift him up and tell him all the good qualities he has. Compliment him in whatever way I could. Men need this just as we women do. To be told 'I love you' everyday.

A man who would stand by my side and not expect me to walk behind him. One who does not control or abuse. Where the relationship is equal and he would have my back and I would have his. I would want him to have good morals and standards. He must also be sensitive and caring. Many men are not sensitive. I believe it's in their upbringing, nurturing parents tend to raise sensitive sons. It is very important in relationships. I would also like him to be compassionate, as well as passionate, and understanding.

I would like for him to be spontaneous in many things. He doesn't have to be built like Vin Desel, or as good looking as Jason Patrick. When I love him he would be all of that to me, and more appealing then they are. I would definitely hope that he was not a slob that left a mess behind for me to pick up. Dishes here, undies there, LOl!!!

He would have to enjoy the outdoors. I love to go camping, go for picnics and just go for a walk. I love fishing, and crabbing. And the beach at night is fabulous. I do love to cook and am a very good cook, but would like to be cooked for too from time to time.

I guess in conclusion, I would want him to be down to earth and steady, not egotistical. When I need to talk, I would like him to listen, very important, and not try to fix it, that is unless I need him to. I would absolutely be open to his opinion and advice. I would want him to want to protect me and take care of me as I would him.

I must say this. I have come to know a goo d friend of mine that has all these qualities and then some. He is amazing and humble. It is so refreshing to know that there are still some men out there like him. But they are few and far between. Truthfully, he is the first one I have met that is, what I call, a real man, a good man. My hat is off to him. I can honestly say he is the best man I ever met in my life. He is to be admired and should be proud of the man he is. I know he has my admiration. I tell him all the time that he is an exceptional man, he may not see that in himself, but I see it in him. Of all his qualities, I would have to say, his best quality is he is a wonderful Dad.

So ladies, don't lose hope. There are still a few good men out there. It may take a while to find him but make your list of what you want in him and think positive. Good things come to those who wait.


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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      I was curious if you ever thhogut of changing the structure of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

    • singlmomat52 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thank you my dearest friend for your comment.I know cannot make it happen, I of all people know this. I love you too, God bless.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Your time will come,My Friend.I love the way you write with all your heart. Love will come to you when you least expect it, you can`t make it happen. Love ya, God bless.

    • singlmomat52 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thank you Tammy for reading my Hub and glad you enjoyed it. The not arguing is important to me. I do not like confrontations, especially with someone I love. Thanks for you great comment!

    • TamCor profile image

      Tammy Cornett 

      8 years ago from Ohio

      "Good things come to those who wait."

      So true--I love your views, and how honestly you write about them!

      I know that finding all of those qualities in a man is hard(it is in a woman, too!), but with a little give and take, you CAN find them...:)

      My husband how most of those qualities you mention, except for the love of cooking(he can manage toast), and he's not into camping, but I can live with that, and have, for quite awhile now, haha.

      I like the part where you said you'd like a man who doesn't like to argue, and would rather talk things out. It's so hard to find ANYONE, male or female, who is like that these days. We've been fortunate enough to discover that we both hate arguing, so it makes solving any problems so much easier--by just sitting down, and talking them through.

      Thanks for a great read! :)



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