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What To Do If She Tells Everyone You Wear Women's Lingerie

Updated on October 13, 2009

A great fear for many men who wear lingerie is that not only will the woman in their lives not support the lingerie wearing habit, but she'll promptly break up with them and proceed to tell everyone about it.

This is a possibility for any male who tells his female partner that he likes to wear lingerie. You can minimize the risk by not choosing a vindictive witch to partner with, but men seem to have a weakness for this type of woman so as long as there are men who wear lingerie there will probably be women telling on them.

In the words of the immortal Douglas Adams 'DON"T PANIC'. This is not the end of the world. So she told your family, your friends and possibly even your children that you wear women's lingerie. This may be your particular worst nightmare come true, but it doesn't have to be.

Take a step back, breathe deeply and remember that most people think about themselves, not others. It's what you're doing now, it's the reason why you're panicking and it is the reason why others may not care as much as you might think they will.

You have several options now that your little secret is out of the bag.

 Denial - Not Just A River In Egypt

You can deny the whole thing. Unless she has any solid proof (like pictures or video) you might very well be able to pull this off. If she is the type of woman who would tell on you in the first place it is very possible that she's been whining about you for a long time and people have stopped listening.

Of course, if you go the denial route it is going to be much harder to reveal your secret later on. Then again, your family, friends and kids aren't people who need to know this sort of secret anyway, so feel free to deny if you feel that this is the best type of damage control you can muster.

OR

'Yeah, So What?'


You can confirm the rumor and behave as if it is a perfectly normal thing, which in many respects, it is. Most people would not like their bedroom secrets revealed to the masses. You can bet that among your friends and family there are naughty secrets hidden in almost every closet. Unless they are enitely boring puritan types who become viciously jealous at the mere idea someone might be having a skerrick of fun, you're more likely to find yourself among friends than you may imagine.

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    • profile image

      Gr8 Legs 

      8 years ago

      Before we married, I told my wife about my penchant for pantyhose & silky underwear. She was the first person I had ever openly told about this in my life. She was not only understanding, but embraced it, she even bought me some "silkies" on special occasions like matching his 'n' hers red nighties for Christmas with matching white stockings.

      We recently separated (after almost fifteen years & she (+her sister) started telling people about my "little secret", citing it as one of the reasons for the break-up of our marriage (at least that's what she told her sister). I never tried to deny it, but I wasn't ready for the "so what" approach either, so I took it to court and had restraining orders taken out against both of them under the principle of defamation - i.e. they would be reducing my public standing or exposing me to public ridicule by making public this information.

      Now they are both all too aware that if I hear any reports of either of them mouthing off to anyone about my love of lingerie, they risk criminal prosecution and a fine of up to $6000! (and you can buy a hell of a lot of lingerie for $6000 :)

      Having been embarrassed and ashamed of this for most of my adult life, I am now coming to terms with it within myself a bit more, but am not ready to be "so what"about it. Your hub pages have been a great source of hope & comfort.

      Thank you.

    • profile image

      Steph 

      9 years ago

      Well i came across this problem a couple of weeks ago. one of my x-girlfriends tried to spill the beans, but luckily she lies all the time so noone belived her. when someone asked me about it i said it was just a rumor like all the rest of the stories that go around. they believed me and moved on.

    • profile image

      Phil 

      9 years ago

      I have gone trough this scenario. First at least in my experience denial just makes it more apparent. My first wife did this to humiliate me. Although in reality,it had NOTHING to do with our divorce. Just a convient excuse. Second if ANYONE wants to make an issue of something,believe me they will find something. I had a buddy for over 50 years that knew of my crossdressing and it never was an issue. He is now deceased. unfortunately we are conditioned early in life to present an appearance to others that THEY find acceptable. In doing this we hide many things and live in fear of discovery. One cannot be hurt by the truth only by hidden secrets. Being "outed" for me was the best thing ever. It forced me to stop denial,shame and self-loathing.

    • profile image

      Jenni 

      9 years ago

      When I was younger the idea of being exposed for wearing womens underwear was a nightmare for sure. I would have taken the denial route if the worst case scenerio had ever materialized. Thankfully it did not.

      I think as you age and become more confident, the "so what" attitude works best. I shop for my lingerie with the "so what mentality" ...It works! though I suppose each individual is different.

    • profile image

      indrag13 

      9 years ago

      I was very fortunate that I had this discussion with my girlfriend as soon as I met her and it has been fantastic ever since. She loves it and always buys me the sexiest things. What a treat it is to receive such things from a woman you love so much. I love sharing this with her and my other women friends.

    • profile image

      Don Witten 

      9 years ago

      I would prefer the denial route. There is no reason anybody should know about my lingerie habits... except a significant other... but I am not sure I would ever let them photograph or videotape me. I am not sure I have ever worried about something like this happening. I will certainly be more careful now.

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