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What To Do If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating.

Updated on August 31, 2013
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Is Being Faithful Important to Your Man, or Is He Very Liberal?

Just about every woman has to face the uncomfortable and depressing situation that her man is cheating at least once in her life. Unfortunately, with the liberalization of America, a cheating man is becoming more and more common, and empathy towards the woman he has wronged is almost non existent. Morality was once highly important with the fidelity and honesty of a man towards his wife being paramount. These days being a faithful husband is simply considered old fashioned. A woman who wants to keep from living life as an unwed, poverty stricken mother, or a completely broken Jodi Arias, who killed her negligent boyfriend, and a Betty Broderick, who shot her ex-husband and his mistress/wife, has to be two steps ahead of her man from the very beginning.

There are a host of important things to remember when it comes to dating a man. The rule of thumb to avoid any problems by not putting a man in the position to take advantage of you by establishing yourself as a respectable woman right from the start.

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But lets say you are in a relationship and have just discovered that your man is cheating. What can yo do?

Number one, don't confront him right away. You must use your head, and the biggest mistake women make is that they become emotional and hysterical. This usually leads to the guy running into the arms of his mistress, and it can even give the man more power over you as he can see where he has you and will easily tell lies based on the information you give him as to how you know he is cheating.

If your man loves you at all he will not want to hurt you and will feel guilty. If your guy is basically a moral man you are in luck. He will care about you, the family, and his reputation, which means it will be much less likely that your man will run off on you. If your guy is very liberal minded, he will not care about your feelings or his reputation very much, if at all. He will see himself in the light that young people see Bill Clinton; a guy exercising his power. He may even tell you that its unnatural for a man to be faithful. The foundation of your man is very important and you should think about who he is basically in order to execute a plan.

Is your guy the type who basically believes that he should be faithful, or is he a thoroughly modern man who believes that you need to get used to the idea that his will never be all yours?

Once You Know That Your Man is Cheating

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Your Man is Unfaithful. Its Official.

Once you have discovered that your man is cheating there are several attitudes a woman takes on outside of depression. Some women immediately want to split up and others want to hold on with all of their might. Both are dangerous emotions that should be stifled from your man. If you have an instant feeling of wanting to split up I will advise you not to do it because no matter how you found out about the other woman the chances are that she wants you to know. The other woman wants you to know about the affair so that your lives will turn into a tornado and she will have full opportunity to fill your shoes. I am sure that even though you may want to leave him that you don't want him to ride off into the sunset with the tart he has been cheating with.

If your instinct is to cling and do all you can to hold on and your man is the modern type who has little or no moral fabric, this clingy attitude will turn your man off of you. Men innately disrespect women who cling, and he will usually become even more abusive towards you once you have shown him that you are afraid of losing him.

Hold Your Man or Break Up

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Confront Your Cheating Man or Trap Him

Some women hold onto their man by being pleasant and letting the affair run its course. That may be okay for some, but affairs can last years and stir up your lives permanently. The important thing to do here is find out about the other woman. Can you find emails, texts or messages that provide a clue as to who she is?

One creative Filipino woman who suspected that her man was cheating was wise to not show any concern to her man and kept him off the scent of her suspicion. She let her man feel comfortable about leaving things lying around and and not erasing his past text messages. The reason that this is the best attitude to take is that when men are confronted with the info that you have discovered, they will make excuses. If you see a text from a woman he will say that she is just a friend, and if it looks like anything more he will cover it by saying that she is just joking, or that she accidentally sent it to him instead of her husband, ect. ect. It goes on from there. Men come up with great excuses to make you the fool while they go on their merry way with the affair.

When the Philipino woman carefully read and printed email exchanges between her husband and another woman she gained powerful insight into their relationship as well as the power of knowledge before confrontation. It was discovered that her husband was having an affair with a married Latina woman who expressed in the email exchanges that she did not want her kids to find out about her tryst because if they did discover their mother's affair they would hate and disown her. This lady learned at a young age in the Philippines that a woman with the knowledge and leverage wins the game, and after studying and collecting email exchanges between her husband and the Latina woman she had her ammo, but she did not stop quite there. She moved on to facebook and created a profile in which she used the photo of a handsome man and then proceeded to "friend" several people who were connected to her husbands Latin lover before then asking to be "friends" with her husbands mistress herself. Knowing that few women will question or reject an extremely handsome man who wants to connect with her she was now able to see where the woman lived and worked. It was discovered that the Latina woman was a real estate agent. This made it easy for the Filipino woman to call her up and say that she would like to see a few homes, and in no time at all she was in the car of her husbands mistress being shown homes.

The Filipino woman was in the power seat. She was asking her husbands lover questions about her family in a friendly manner and making small talk. She continued to gain information about the sexy Latina as she bragged about her children and social position. After seeing a few homes the two women stopped for lunch and the Filipino woman broke the news that she did not want to buy a house but that she wanted the affair to stop. Her feisty real estate agent was apparently a pro in the field of stealing men and getting things to go her way. She surprised her company with "your husband loves me and he does not love you, he will not stop seeing me." The Latina woman was pretty and the Filipino woman was rather plain, so those words could have easily stung, but the Filipino had a few stinging words of her own to deliver, "I have read all of your emails and I know that your kids will hate you if they find out. I will go to your front door and break the news to your husband and kids if your don't stop." The affair did not stop instantly but the meeting between the two women created a lot of tension in the affair. The Latina was now putting pressure on her lover to tell his wife off, something no man wants to hear. In fact the man had a hard time believing that his sweet wife would do something like that. When the cheating man confronted his wife she merely played the sweet woman who was suddenly confronted by a raging Latina. When the husband reads the personalities of the two women he sees his wife as a calm and reasonable woman and his mistress as an emotional woman who is claiming some outrageous things.

The cheating pair had a few more meetings in which the Filipino promptly made two more phone calls reminding her that she would go to her home and break the news. The phone calls simply put a negative feeling on the whole affair and the now high strung Latina was too much for the lounge lizard to bear. They stopped seeing each other.


This scenario may be a little much for some women but it can be a much better ending that seeing the cheating couple move on together without any of their friends knowing how evil they have been, and then living happily ever after.

Simply put, an emotional confrontation in which you guilt your man by telling him you know what he is up to will forever put a damper on the relationship but by creating tension in the affair it is almost sure to break.

If you are the wife or girlfriend and you are creating stress on your man by talking about his infidelity the other woman will shine in his eyes because she is nothing but the fun and happy times. The Filipino kept calm and sweet and stirred up her husbands lover which made her become the women who was unpleasant to be around.

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    • profile image

      teresahen02 

      2 years ago

      This is weak women is it even worthed to fight over a cheating man I wouldn't even bother I've been dating mines for over a year I've decided to leave I didn't know he was married he doesn't want to turn me a loose at fight over a cheater for what does,this fight mean he will love his wife he doesn't love her if, he cheats foolish women the both of them!

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      2 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      That is an interesting scenario. It seems rather contrived. Is the marriage worth saving? I think this is the first question a woman should ask herself.

      If the answer is no, then move on with your dignity.

      If the answer is yes, then work with your husband to resolve the underlying issues that created the affair in the first place.

      Thanks for writing.

      Namaste

    • GlendaGoodWitch profile imageAUTHOR

      GlendaGoodWitch 

      4 years ago from California

      Haha. I know what you mean. It takes planning but when I saw that this Filipino woman did not suffer in the way that so many other women who act emotionally do I had to give her credit for planning her moves. She actually turned the tables in her situation and after seeing so many couples break up in this way I have to say that she accomplished what she wanted without going through the same level of heartache that the average woman suffers.

      At this point I don't know is she is happy, but I do know that she never suffered the inner turmoil that most women who lay their cards on the table do. She actually learned from her previous experiences that most men who are chronic cheaters will have such a great lie already cooked up so that you will doubt yourself even if you actually caught him in the act. If she decides to eventually leave him it will be her call and not his or the other woman's.

    • Ranzi profile image

      Cut The Bullshit 

      4 years ago from All Over

      Nice hub. My personality is too irrational and impatient to be able to do what the Filipino lady did. If I don't get it of my chest, I suffer severely. As well, keeping things inside, and resentment can cause cancer and lower the immune system. Good advice for those patient and I guess the ones who want to save their marriages.

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