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What To Talk About On the First Date

Updated on November 18, 2012

Your First Date - Don't Get Stuck

First dates are always nervous occasions, and even the bravest of us need a little confidence boost. One of the things which people most fear (apart from the “to kiss or not to kiss” kinds of issues) is that conversation will run embarrassingly dry.

So how can you ensure that on your first date, conversation flows, and you can really start to learn something about each other?

How can you initiate the conversation to break the ice without acting like a clown? Below are few tips to help you make this process easier.

Don't Just Talk about Yourself.

Firstly, remember that there are two people involved here. A sure conversation killer is to talk about yourself, endlessly. Pouring out the woes of previous relationships, how people have let you down, and how unlucky you've been in love, should be reserved for nights with your pals, not for a first date. On a first date – don't go there. If the question arises, “How come you're still on your own?”, a sad but brave smile and “The right person just hasn't come along yet” is the perfect answer.

Learn More about Your Date by Asking Questions.

Remember to ask your date plenty of questions. A focus on family and friends, interests and hobbies, will tell you more about a person than questions about their work, although if they have a fascinating job, you'll want to hear about it. (There seems some kind of dating law that people with dull jobs – tax accountant, quantity surveyor, love to talk about them, whereas astronauts, brain surgeons and the like are much more reticent.)

A person who talks a lot about struggles in family relationships and friendships should raise a warning flag in your mind – it could be you who's being talked about in a few months time.

Ask General and Open Ended Questions.

Asking a person questions about themselves helps overcome any shyness that they might be feeling, and shows that you are a caring kind of individual. Your questions should be general, and open ended. Always try to ask questions which can't be answered with a plain “yes” or “no”. For example, instead of asking, “Do you like movies” isn't a good question, “What kind of movies do you like?” is.

Comment on a piece of clothing or accessory.

Even better, wear something funky or that stands out. If you date comment about it, then you can talk more about it. Else you can give nice comments or a complement of what you date wears. Talk more about what they wear by asking where it came and is there any significance. So just be observant about the people and your surroundings is a good way to start a conversation for your first date.

Prepare some Conversational topics beforehand.

Read the newspapers and watch the news on the day or so before your date. There's no need for you to have heavy opinions on how to solve the latest Middle East crisis, but it's good if you have read and thought about some of the lighter news of the day. For example, twin pandas born at the zoo can lead to a conversation on animals and pets, conservation and the environment. Any lulls in the conversation can be easily filled if you have a few topics prepared.

Conversation on a first date should be flowing easily by the end of the evening. If you are still tongue tied after a couple of hours in each other’s company, then chances are that the chemistry isn't right, and you should write that potential partner off as simply not being for you.

Need Help, Then Check Out These Books on Dating in


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    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Thinking of it as a way to get know a person, rather than the possible start of a relationship, might help to take some of the pressure off. Voting this Up and Useful.

    • ohkennyabi profile image

      ohkennyabi 5 years ago from The East

      Hi there, thanks for the comments and support :).

    • mecheshier profile image

      mecheshier 5 years ago

      Nice Hub. Love your suggestions. Especially the tip on not talking about yourself but to ask questions instead. Funny, I just did an article about a dating site for vegetarians:

      I also used to write for a dating service, usually articles about "Red Flags". It was a lot of fun.

      Voted up for useful and interesting.


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