What True Love Means to Me
I am no expert on love, for sure. I have come to realize, however, that I have a definite, ingrained definition of what love means to me. Hang on, here we go:
When you meet someone and time goes on and you realize that person has chosen to see only the best in you, to encourage you, to believe in you, to bring out the best qualities in you, to comfort you, to nurture you, to support you mentally, emotionally, verbally, spiritually, and even financially (when it’s necessary), I call that love.
When you live together, day in and day out for years and still have the desire to say “I love you” every single day and to say “Thank you” for the little things that you do for each other, I call that love. A lot of people believe that just because you are family, you don’t have to say “thank you” for anything they do for you and yet, you know what? It’s because you are family that it’s good to say that. It’s better to let those you love know that they are not being taken for granted! It also helps foster a positive sense of well-being within yourself and the person you are thanking. It’s a win-win situation!
When you make each other laugh, even if it is about the silliest, trivial thing, I call that love. When you cheer each other up, either by making each other laugh because one of you had a rough day or you just need to be held (and you get held because you asked), I call that love.
When you give to one another whatever it is that needs to be given and the giver truly doesn’t expect anything in return, I call that love.
When you share, unequivocally, when there is no “keeping track” of who does what for whom and who spent how much on whatever it was, I call that love.
When you realize that clear communication is necessary in understanding each other, I call that love. When that communication sometimes takes three hours of sitting on the couch and mirroring (repeating) back what the other one said just so you each know there is understanding, I call that love.
When you say what you need to say, without fear of being criticized and know that the other one will do their best to understand and will still accept you and cherish you, no matter what is said, I call that love.
When you realize that you are not going to take it personally if the other one snaps at you out of frustration, I call that love.
When you compliment each other, even just once, every single day, and mean it with all sincerity, I call that love.
When you are willing to compromise, knowing that you can’t have your way all the time, I call that love.
Knowing love is a “give-and-take” thing and that it is not usually a “50-50” proposition, sometimes it is “80-20” and being okay with that fact, to me, that is love.
When you realize that it’s about being a team, being a couple, sometimes putting the other one first, to me, that is love.
When you become willing to learn something new, like sharing in each others’ interests, to me, that is love. You realize that by being with them, you experience more in life than you ever would have by being alone or not knowing them at all.
When you are open and honest, straightforward, trustworthy, confident in yourself and know that the other person is all those things as well, to me, that is love. You realize that if you are not true to yourself, you can’t be true to another.
When you know it’s better to be happy than to be “right”, that is definitely love. Knowing that you can accept the idiosyncrasies, quirks and differences in each of you, to me, that is love.
Knowing that you would never give up on them, that you will live through every single curve ball life throws, that you will be with them through the sweetest, most precious times as well as the hardest, most troubling, most heartbreaking times of all, to me, that is love.
True, emotionally healthy love allows you to be less narcissistic, more caring, more giving, more loving, more accepting, more patient, more nurturing, and more forgiving. It has nothing to do with being a martyr or being co-dependent.
The most awesome truth I have discovered in my quest for “true love” is that I have that! I found it! I share it with the most awesome man I have ever met in my life! Right now, this very day and for the past several years, I have experienced it with him and I couldn’t be more blessed!