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What are the differences between sex and love? Is it possible to love some one without having sex?

Updated on January 18, 2009

A relationship without sex




Love without sex is a cheeseburger without the cheese. Love without the intense passion. And if you love the cheeseburger with cheese, in the long run the relationship will bleed to death. It all depends on your needs. If the cheese less cheeseburger is enough for you to satisfy your hunger, you can live without the sex for a long long time.




When you love someone (and I don't mean kids, olds and family members of opposite sex), you want to be with that person, share things. After a hard day’s work, tell what happened. You want to touch each other, kiss, and cuddle, especially in the beginning of a relationship. When the feeling of heaving butterflies in your stomach slowly becomes something more beautiful, then just being close with him or her won’t be enough anymore. You want to be a part of his or her live, built a future together, something that belongs to the two of you. You can talk about everything with each other and after a while it’s like you can almost see what the other one is thinking, seeing or feeling. And that’s where the true love begins.


But on the other side of love are emotions like lust and desire. Often those feelings are thought to be love, but there is a big difference of wanting to have sex with someone or wanting to share the rest of your live with someone. If there is nothing else than lust or desire you feel, you have to ask yourself if there’s true love


A sex life that incorporates romance, openness and honesty is an enjoyable part of a relationship. All too often we forget that sex is about more than a physical act of intercourse, it is a way to express our feelings for another person, reaching a level of intimacy we experience with very few people in our lives.



But is love without sex possible?


Can a relationship work without sex? Sure it is. Sure there are a lot of reasons not to have sex even when you love your partner.


Sex is a key part of most relationships, but a lot of us say that the sex isn’t the most important in the relationship either. It is possible to have a relationship without sex if both parties agree. There are many reasons why sex may not be a necessary or feasible part of your relationship including ill health and disability. The important thing to establish is if both parties are happy not to have sex.


If you can honestly say that a lack of sex doesn't bother you as a couple, you communicate well and you still have a deep level of intimacy then there is no reason to see a lack of sex as a problem.




I like my cheeseburger with cheese please. What the heck, make it a double cheeseburger.




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    • Neil Sperling profile image

      Neil Sperling 9 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      This hub ties in with my four levels of love hub - sex without love is a low level - love can be magic without sex - put them together and ... WOW



    • profile image

      sweety 9 years ago


    • Lazur profile image

      Lazur 9 years ago from Netherlands

      Thank you marycon for your comment. I guess when one or maybe both lovers can't survive without the sex, but still feel the love, indeed one or even both start to look for it elsewhere. If there is no communication about it, it looks a lot like cheating on your partner doesn't it?If the love is strong enough to survive without the sex and both agree on it in all honesty, there is a good possibility that the relationship survives too.


    • marycon08 profile image

      marycon08 9 years ago from Philippines

      bravo!! Lazur

      nice hub...

      Love w/o se*....its kinda possible...well of course depends on the situation right?

      But as i've noticed....nowadays...this generation of ours...are more likely prone to* w/o love. maybe due to their curiosity...

      But as of my experience... i've been through a relationship..even w/o Se* though at first..i feel love towards them...

      But I guess no one both (lovers) survive in that kind of thing...

      (love w/o se* )people are known to its instinct... (people are just)

      if they both no disability then..they don't do? hmm...i bet one of them will find another then..maybe that's what we called.. " Se* without love" Making love out of nothing at all."


    • Lazur profile image

      Lazur 9 years ago from Netherlands

      @Anamika; There's nothing to be ashamed of.You have to follow your own heart on that . I've been on both sides the love without sex but also the sex without love. And the last thing isn't happening anymore. Why? Just because it doesn't feel right for myself.

      @Qwijbo; There was(or is for some people) just only one connection to have sex without love and that was pure lust. Indeed no heart. Just a physical connection, not emotional. And I have to say I'm glad that mostly in the real world there's more sex with love than just sex.

      @Vilmadoesnt; I love the way you look at it:D And eating bread with butter is more healthier too;)

      Thank you all for your comment on this:)

    • VILMADOESNT profile image

      VILMADOESNT 9 years ago from United Arab Emirates

      love and sex is like bread and butter... bread is more tasty and delicious with butter, but at times you can eat bread alone without butter, like love without sex ... but, you cannot just eat butter alone without bread... meaning, to have sex there must be love...

      nonetheless, i like bread with much much much butter! Delicioso!!!

    • profile image

      Qwijebo 9 years ago

      Me for one, there has to be that connection before sex. True for some people sex is like having a cup of coffee with someone, it's no big deal (no pun here). But it's not the 1960's anymore, there is no free sex. Sex comes with consequences. Unless you're lacking a heart, with sex there is a certain amount of feelings involved. Maybe for shallow people or in movies sex comes and goes (more puns here), but in the "real world" for most, love and sex go hand in hand (insert pun here).

      Either that or be one of those that engages in meaningless sexcapades. Eventually, you'll wind up old, alone and no one will want you. That's my opinion.

    • Anamika S profile image

      Anamika S 9 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

      Love without sex is possible. I have done it too. But if you ask me, I would say i cannot even imagine sex without love. Maybe that's because of my upbringing and culture. But I am not ashamed of that.

    • Lazur profile image

      Lazur 9 years ago from Netherlands

      Not if you know they are family members:Plol

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 9 years ago from DC Area

      Do you imply family members of the same sex are not excluded?! :O ;)

    • Lazur profile image

      Lazur 9 years ago from Netherlands

      @ Sascha; That's why this hub is about loving someone without having sex:D In my oppinion that's harder than sex without love:D

    • Lazur profile image

      Lazur 9 years ago from Netherlands

      I guess I forget to mention the whole request Micha:D

      What are the differences between sex and love? Is it possible to love some one without having sex? (Excluding kids, olds and family members of opposite sex)

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 9 years ago from DC Area

      LOL Lazur,

      How about kids, parents and other relatives? You don't have sex with them, do you? ;) But you still love them I guess :P

    • Sascha H profile image

      Sascha H 9 years ago from The Netherlands

      Imo most man can have sex without love. I gues woman are having a hard time with it :-) Nice hub anyway.

    • Lazur profile image

      Lazur 9 years ago from Netherlands

      Thank you G-Ma* smiles* No not alone. That's less fun and sometimes takes a lot of batteries(a)

      With true love and good communication, everything is possible:)


    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      you sexy thing you LOL....Sex is everything...oh yes it is...hummm but not alone ...hee hee..No really nice hub hun and of course it is possible when true love prevails....God Bless...G-Ma "o) hugs