What are you here for?
Fresh New Beginnings
When you first get in a relationship with someone you never met, have no common friends with, and simply fell into the relationship...Do you ever question yourself? Do you question them? Do you wonder if they are there for what it takes to be in a relationship? Or if they are just there for the sex or foreplay? During the first few months most couples are in the "honeymoon" stage. It is new territory, new memories, a whole new person. So of course you're hot and bothered with lust and wanting to discover their body with your hands and other body parts. But the time you spend apart and especially for me at night... I begin to question the entire relationship.... I am a Virgo so we are all in our heads... but mainly I question why my significant other is with me when they could have been with any other person... why me? what is so special about me? This isn't meant to be depressing but rather why do some of us women and maybe men... why do we think this way? Is it because we were bullied for our looks? or is it because deep down inside we hate the way we look and wonder if we would ever be good enough for someone.... Then the next step I think about is if I should inform my significant other or rather interrogate them on all the questions and thoughts running through my head.... but with the possibility of scaring them off I'm thinking I should just keep quiet and wait for things to blow over so to speak..... Does a person who is just in the relationship for the physical part of it take you out on dates, buy you dinner and Valentines Day gifts, and want to spend time with you? or do they do that so they can get in your pants? relationships are so complicated now a days because people like me make them so complicated because of my past... My pasts consists of bullying, depression and all that comes with that.... So why do some people come into our lives? obliviously for a reason but is that negative? if so how will that affect us?....if it positive then why do we question the positivity and look for the negative? Thoughts, I believe, are what are slowly killing us. Mainly because it creates stress, depression, and anxiety (at least in my life it does) So going back to my original question... why are you here? Do I confront you about it and risk ruining the happiness we have? or do I just type my feelings on here essentially talking to myself and just wait for things to possibly get better? Hmmmm.... I think I'll wait.... My mind likes to think of the worse case scenario.... and in this case it would mean losing you.... and to be honest I'm falling for him hard..... a lot faster than I thought I would..... YIKES!!! But then again maybe this is the process of love when it is someone completely new? Anyways Happy Monday to who ever is reading this! You're beautiful. Stay Strong.