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What do Men Really Want in Marriage and Relationships?

Updated on September 29, 2014
Sometimes men and women feel like they're on different planets.
Sometimes men and women feel like they're on different planets.

What kind of woman is a man looking for in a wife? As a woman, your dream relationship lies in understanding what men are looking for.

One of the hardest things about dating is deciding what kind of woman men want you to be. Most women spend huge amounts of money getting the perfect hair, makeup, and clothes they think will attract a man. Most men can't tell the difference between all these bits and baubles, but they sure appreciate the ones that makes you look beautiful. Most women want to know if they should be sexy, done-up, and amazing looking, or if they should look real and natural.

Men and women often feel like they're speaking different languages. Unfortunately for most women, misreading male behavior keeps them stuck in the same patterns and unfulfilling relationships with men. I would like to share insights into male behavior that most women never see.

Beautiful Women Are Good for Right Now

How long will a relationship with an amazing bombshell really last?
How long will a relationship with an amazing bombshell really last?

Men essentially want two things:

  • A woman who knows how to have fun and enjoy a relationship instead of one who overanalyzes and worries.
  • A woman whom he is attracted to, both physically and emotionally. Men love an amazing woman who knows when and how to expose her body.

For some men, physical attraction is the basis of a wonderful relationship. But for many, physical attraction is only good for the short term.

A beautiful woman is ideal for right now, but is she ideal for marriage? Some problems men have with amazingly beautiful women are:

  • A woman who cares a lot about her appearance spends a lot of money and time taking care of her body. This can get expensive!
  • With all that attention paid to her body, she never spends time reflecting on her character or improving herself in non-physical ways. Character makes a woman.

There are so many beautiful women out there who are ugly on the inside. So while beauty is satisfying for right now, not every beautiful woman is ideal for marriage.

Men Love a Natural Woman

A real woman.
A real woman.

Men are not blind, and they love beautiful women. But they can also see beyond the immediate present. A relationship needs a lot more than just physical attraction to last. I’m talking about a deeper level of attraction that includes an emotional connection and understanding, and this type of love is more likely to be achieved with a real, natural woman. Here's why:

  • A man wants a woman who makes him feel great both when he is with her and when they're apart. In other words, they want a woman who knows how to be independent. A real woman isn't high maintenance, and is secure in her natural beauty.
  • Men love women who they can see being a good mother to their children. A man wants a woman who is like his mother and whom his daughter will learn from.
  • Men don’t want a woman they have to train to be a good person or to be the right person for them. The last thing a man wants to do is to take a woman who doesn’t “naturally” know how to be selfless and loving.

Men everywhere share an idea about “nice girls." The phrase might have slightly different meanings in different places, but the idea is the same. When a man says a girl is “nice," he means she is a real woman: natural, easy-going, humorous, emotionally balanced, secure, and independent. A nice girl is the kind of woman men see themselves committing to.

Are you a "nice girl"?

Real Love Ends in Marriage

A real, natural woman will find real love that lasts.
A real, natural woman will find real love that lasts.


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      Robert E Smith 3 years ago from Rochester, New York

      Isn't it hard to put into words the difference between male and female psyches? And it is even harder to give statements covering the majority of one of those groups or the other. You have touched on some broad points that are truths for a great number of people. But then there are broad numbers of men that don't fit the norm and women who would love them.

      I say this to say marriage and relationships take work and individual change on both sides of the equation. Anyone thinking that a person will come into their life and fit like a glove is either delusional or lying to themselves. As soon as those vows are spoken and there can be no "I was just kidding" backdoor though which to escape, then the trouble begins.

      Each person goes through periods where they think that the other person lied to them or showed them a false face during the courtship. Actually what happened is that the unpolished side of the same coin flipped up. Marriage has a way to make that happen. Then those things that are less refined, less desirable, less lovable surface in a spouse. Then is when the work really begins. It is okay the first time the spouse says, "Not tonight Honey," but to understand why they say that is the challenge. To have the patience and understanding to stay around while the "unpolished side" is exposed is the thing that usually make people turn-tail and run for the hills. And when they get to the hills they meet another person that they think is more refined in the areas the first person was not, only to find that, that person also has a side that has yet to be known as well. No one is perfect. No one is completely refined. No one is ideally suited as to avoid work. No one. But marriage is worth it. It is worth every bit of headache, heartache or any other kind of ache because it is a covenant before the Lord and people don't have to do the task alone.

    • harisnefo profile image

      Chimezie Nwabugwu 3 years ago from Nigeria

      Thanks No Body for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate!

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      Dreamers 3 years ago

      Uh, I DON'T think guys lay around dreaming of having a relationship or marriage. If you haven't noticed, men think about sex A LOT. He is most likely thinking of getting laid and getting out of there. Women have a REALLY high opinion of themselves. He looked at a few others on his way to your house.

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      celina 2 years ago

      Am Celina from Canada i want to share my life experience to everybody on this site? i was in a serious relationship with peter i love him so much we have dated for almost 6 years now. Until he meant another girl called rose he told me that he is no longer interested in dating me anymore. I was so confuse i don’t know what to do. so i told my friend about what my love just told me and he told me that she can solve my problem i was doubting her how can that be possible. so she gave me an email a spell caster called i contacted him and i explain everything to him and he told me that my problem will be solved within few days if i believe i said Ok. He cast a spell for me and after five days my love came back to me begging me on his knees on the ground asking me to forgive him. Am so happy now. So that why i decided to share my experience with everybody that has such problem you can contact his email via email (

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      cazetan 2 years ago

      My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained to you my problem. In just 24hours, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr EKA you are the best spell caster i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again Dr EKA at ( case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is

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      Anonymous 2 years ago

      Women already know what men really want. We want food, alcohol, sex and sports.....not necessarily in that order.....maybe all at the same damn time. Women think we are idiots because we are "simple". You can't cope with how simple we really are so you ask stupid questions like this in hopes of a different answer....ANOTHER ANSWER DOESN'T EXIST.

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      Murid hussain 2 years ago

      I want to marrige

    • harisnefo profile image

      Chimezie Nwabugwu 2 years ago from Nigeria

      Murid Hussian, God will give you the right partner.

    • profile image

      Ruby 2 years ago


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