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What Is a Couple?

Updated on January 19, 2018
Arminevard profile image

Armine is a graduate student at the University of Southern California majoring in Marriage and Family Therapy.

Couples/Relationships

When thinking about romantic relationships, a few thoughts come to mind. I think of trust, honesty, and open communication.

When we love, we are trusting our significant other with our heart and soul. We very well know that should this relationship end, our heart and soul could be damaged, often for a long time.

Knowing the risks, we still choose to find that person and fall in love. When in love, we also (ideally) want to be able to trust our partner and depend on them. What gives us the ability to trust? Honesty.

When your partner has always been honest with you, you have your reason right there - to trust them. Should you feel like you can't trust them, or they're not being honest......you should openly communicate.

How does communication help here? When expressing our needs, wants, desires, thoughts and feelings, we are becoming a book for our partner to read - and chances are they will understand you much better when your book is open.

Everything that's discussed is of course referring to both sides. Relationships are a two-way street and without the help of the other, you can't really get anywhere.

So work on becoming honest and trustworthy, as well as openly communicate and love away!

© 2018 Arminevard

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      8 months ago

      "So work on becoming honest and trustworthy, as well as openly communicate and love away! " Good points!

      Generally speaking one who is honest is considered trustworthy.

      The main problem with communication is on some level we've been brainwashed to believe when it comes to our "soulmate" they will instinctively know our needs and desires.

      It's almost a cliché to hear someone say:

      "I {shouldn't have to} tell or ask you for....etc"

      Imagine a wife "communicating" to her husband that he hasn't bought her flowers in years on Monday. On Tuesday after work he comes home with a dozen roses. Is she overjoyed? Probably not!

      In fact she may feel a tinge of {resentment} over the fact that she had to "ask for what she wanted".

      Deep down what she really wanted was for (him to want to) give her flowers! A mate who is "considerate" is considered romantic while having to (ask) someone for something rarely causes elation even if one gets it.

      Another example of this might be a couple who has been living together for years and the woman wants to get married. In many instances women will either continue to live with the man suffering in silence, "dropping hints", or possibly giving him an ultimatum.

      However the one thing most women in this situation will NOT do is propose to the man {they love}.

      One old adage goes:

      "If it's not worth asking for, it's not worth having!"

      As long as we expect people to read our minds or instinctively know what we desire without us telling them communication problems will continue exist in relationships.

      There are two reasons why a mate won't give you what's asked.

      1. They don't have it to give. (In other words it's not who they are.)

      2. They don't believe (you) are worth the effort to give it to.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      Lastly I would say a "couple" is two people who have had a "meeting of the minds" and have declared their exclusivity.

      Too often these days one person (assumes) they're in a "exclusive relationship" or "committed relationship" while the other views it as a "hanging out", "casual dating", or a "friends with benefits" arrangement.

      In other words they never "had the talk".

      Oftentimes one person is "waiting on the other" to profess their love, make it known they want exclusivity or a commitment. Many folks are either afraid to be "first" to broach the subject because they fear rejection or would be embarrassed if the other person doesn't feel the same way.

      There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.

      Honest communication requires courage.

      When it comes to love many of us our cowards!

    working

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