- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
What is a good man
A twisted situation from the start be a man
When women are young girls they often fantasize about the type of man they will be in a relationship with or possibly marry. He would have all the good qualities,maybe some bad but the good would definetely outweigh the bad and overall have the happily ever after. But thats not the story in relationships these days. You see real life imitating itself everywhere when the real painful fact is that the majority of young women will never get the happy ending they long for.
In todays society women see a good man as one who will take care of his family,who will be by her side no matter what happens,one she can trust with every part of her,one she can laugh with and cry with,one she will see as her everything,one she can love who loves her back.
While most of you are in agreement with the above its very dissapointing when the relationship that she has spent months maybe years investing in fails. The main reasons for those failures could be that she failed to see that he does not see her as his everything,maybe he's seeing her as his right now,but he definetely is not seeing her if he's too busy seeing others. What I mean by seeing others is that the fact is a man is a man,they do not really show emotion,they are brought up quite differently from females,its not in there minds to find that one female to be with because they are basically trained to scout so even after you get in a relationship the scouting continues where as he may simply be in love with a female but loses focus everytime another female crosses his path because he's just not done scouting and cannot see how much of a problem is is or how hurtful it is for a female to stand back n watch her partner flirt n stare at other women as if he is just not happy with what he has.
I have had my share of relationships that didnt work out so I wont put it all on the man because I did some wrong myself. I figured out the way things work at a early age,my first love,the one that everyone has thats just not meant to work out. Through out all the things I have experienced while I can say I regret some things I cannot say that i regret that relationship not working out because it was hell. I was simply the good girl but after him I was the good girl gone bad,but I loved the gone bad part because being that way you could never set yourself up for a hurt. Playing the bad girl role gave me a insight on how men in general are and how the smart women are really just like them. I'm not calling any woman dumb,I just found it being smart to be like them,not where the sex is concerned because a real woman who was raised right would have respect for herself not to sleep around with any n everybody. I was being smart in a state of mind,think like a man then you can really understand how they work.
Eventually I found myself losing the bad girl role after many years,so if you lose that role do you revert back to the good girl role? can you? or do you find yourself somewhere in between? The answer is simple,i found myself definetely in between both roles. When you fall in love with someone after everything that has happened in your past,you try to make your past just your past,you dont want to dwell on your past but focus on the new. So what do you do when you find that all around you things are happening to make your past want to come back up? Yeah I know its really confusing but a lot of women are having this same problem.
There is always someone trying to make me feel that I am doing something wrong,but deep down no matter how hard they try or how much they almost succeed I quickly realize the plot and dont bounce back to the bad girl because I am content with who I am and I know that if a man does not love me for me,he simply doesnt love me at all.
A good man is someone who is not going to try to tare you down with hurtful words,control everything you do,make you feel like you are wrong in everything,only look at your faults,not care to listen when you have something to say but espect you to be on full attention when they are speaking,sexually comment or focus on other women simply around you or not around you,take you for advantage by wanting to change you to fit a certain standard of his,totally disrespect you,accuse you of something they want to do just so they can do it.
Men only do to women what they allow,so its really up to the woman to stand up and not be that person to go for anything just because you are so in love. Men know what it takes to be a good man,dont treat a woman how you wouldnt like for someone to treat your own mother or daughter. Men if you dont want to be with a woman,tell her,let her go,dont make her your just right now,be real and grow up. In the end you are just letting the one woman that you are supposed to spend your life with slip through your fingers,and after so many games she has finally taken all she can from you,she'll leave you forever,no returns she'll always find someone else because there are really great men out there who have learned to be a man.