- Gender and Relationships»
- Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender
What is considered gay and what isn't?
Denial, curiosity or hypocrisy?
Recently I've come across something that just.. frustrates me!. People sleeping with an individual of the same sex secretly and still denying that they are homosexual. I don't get it! As a lesbian woman, I find it a bit offensive. Is the homosexual lifestyle not good enough for you? I've come across some pretty strange people in my life. For instance, let's call him... Mike. Mike was/ is one of my best friends. Back in high school he told me that he wasn't sure of his sexuality. He admitted to being physically attracted to other guys and wanted to explore more of his curiosity. I introduced him to another gay friend of mine, let's call him... David. When they first met they hit it off right away. They had the same sense of humor, same interests and beliefs and even dressed alike. Of course, I was thrilled that I, for once was successful in matchmaking! Anyhow, they hung out every day for three months, went to the movies, and even... ya know, rocked the boat according to David. He and I thought all was going well and I thought Mike was content now that he had explored his curiosity. A couple of days later I asked Mike the question in these exact words, "Sooooo... are you gay now or what?" He didn't have an answer. I thought, "What's taking so long, it's a yes or no question!" Anyway, the very next day David calls me and tells me Mike broke it off with him. Long story short, Mike dumps David and immediately starts dating a girl. Of course I confronted him about it. He admitted that he felt complete with a man in a way he had never felt with a woman but also said that he was afraid that his family would not accept him. A couple of months later, we went to a barbeque at a friends house and our mutual guy friend made a gay joke about Mike. He got really upset and started saying how he'd never date a guy, it's disgusting, yada, yada, bullcrap. Of course I was ready to out this A-hole but knew it would turn ugly so I held my tongue until we were alone. His response? "Oh, uhh..well you know that thing with David didn't really count." Brain fart. Soo, you slept with a man, admitted your feelings for him and you're still gonna say it didn't count? It just baffles me. I understand if you're afraid of coming out because your family and friends won't accept you, blah, blah, blah. That's fine. If you want to stay a closet monster, fine. Stay in the closet and drown. But all I ask is one thing, Don't say that it "didn't count" when it did. Don't be a hypocrit. The only person you're lying to is yourself. So if you're wondering what happened with Mike, here's the 411. He broke up with the girl he was with, actually came out the closet to me and then jumped right back in. Now he's dating another girl. Come on, people. Another example is actually what happened to me. I'll shorten this up for you. I met a girl in college, we hit it off- She's straight. We spent a LOT of time together, become a "couple" secretely but 4 months into it she says, "I'm not a lesbian. I mean, I love our time together and I love you.. But I don't want to be considered a lesbian." The end. Here's a tip for all of you closet monsters out there, GROW UP. I don't care about your life story in how you were brought up, your religious beliefs, or whatever. They are just excuses. You can't just be gay because you feel like it one day, it's not like a jacket you try on. There are other people's feelings involved. Life is way too short to care about what other people think. Don't live to satisfy the needs of other people, you'll just end up miserable in the end. But you know that already so you don't need me to tell you. You just need reality to slap you HARD in the face. And I hope it does.
That's the end of my rant. Pretty random, I know. What sparked this topic? I was watching "For Colored Girls" and one of the characters was a lot like Mike. It was a great movie nonetheless :)