What is the Worst Kind of Betrayal??
AUTHENTICS: Endure, forgive and recover from the betrayal of . . .
It seemed incongruent to me that on a day we all dress up silly and eat chocolate until our teeth turn brown that the subject of betrayal was on so many of my client's minds today. As a Life Skills Coach (20+ years) I have either seen or heard or experienced-first-hand about every kind of betrayal imaginable . . . and many unimaginable.
Is there anyone out there that has not been betrayed at one time or another??
Betrayal begins early in life. Too many betrayals at a young age makes many of us expect betrayal to continue at a level that exceeds the normal range.
Yes, there is a normal range for betrayal. Not all betrayal by friends and family is conscious, intentional or malicious. Often we betray others by making promises and not being able to keep them because we are just too over extended. These betrayals require sensitivity, honesty and apologies. It's part of life.
I developed a Life Skill set and coined the word "AUTHENTICS" to describe a long list of simple approaches to leading a full and harmonious life. One such skill is "To endure and forgive and recover from betrayal by false friends and family . . ."
Yes, I know this is much, much easier said than done. It doesn't happen all at once. There are, however, steps toward healing and becoming a stronger, wiser, more compassionate person.
What is the worst kind of betrayal you ever experienced??
Maybe your soul mate left you for your boss?? Or your assistant?? And put the expenses on your account?? Including a new home in Barbados!
Did your best friend and your spouse run away together?? Taking your children with them?? To an unknown country?? Planned at least a year in advance??
How about a cheating spouse that infected you with HIV/AIDS?? On purpose?? Plus three other lovers and six other children you didn't know about?? And you have five children of your own?
Did you have a beloved grandparent that raped your toddler?? Repeatedly??
Did the child you rescued, adopted and nurtured from a third world country turn to drug/alcohol addiction and theft?? Forging checks to your account?? Selling your Lexus with an extra set of keys??
How about a penny-pinching spouse that died suddenly leaving you with almost a million dollars in unknown gambling debt and unpaid taxes?? Necessitating your return to work?? At age 88?? And legally blind??
Did your crooked boss spend 40 years worth of your retirement funds on a new lover?? And laughed when you found out?? And then left the lover without looking back??
Or did your best trusted friend of many years get drunk and rape you?? Then said you ask for it?? And tried to burn your home down to cover up the evidence??
Were you framed for unspeakable crimes by someone you would have given your life to defend??
Is your family priest a pedophile?? Involving your child?? And the neighbors children whom their parents entrusted to you??
Maybe your sibling hired a hit-man to gun you down?? For a hundred bucks, a few laughs and life insurance worth less than two-grand??
(Okay so maybe there are more "goblins" in the air than I thought!)
There are financial betrayals like "unexpected" adjustable rate mortgages recommended by "trusted experts" causing the foreclosure of thousands of homes. Maybe even yours. Did the family planner suggests a Will instead of Revocable Living Trust in order to collect probate fees? Or did the long-term friend-attorney turn a small misunderstanding into WWIII to generate more billable hours??
There are less personal but just as devastating betrayals, i.e., broken promises by the leaders of our country. The loss of our sons and daughters in a war started under false pretense.
How do you deal with betrayals, large and small, personal and distant, devastating and annoying, yet ever present??
The worst betrayal is . . . betrayal of Self . . .
To me, the worst betrayal I have ever known is my betrayal of myself. It wasn't conscious. It wasn't intentional. But it was just as devastating.
I put myself in harms way. Many times.
I trusted people known for being untrustworthy.
I put too much emphasis on "blood" and less on "character."
My dream for the "perfect future" clouded my present-time judgement.
I ignored my intuition.
I set knowledge aside in favor of folly.
I substituted someone else's judgement for my own.
I viewed the world through "rose-colored" glasses.
I operated in the world as "I would like things to be" and not "as they are."
I extended myself far beyond my limits, emotionally, financially, spiritually.
I took things personally.
I believed in the destination more than the process.
I blamed the other person(s) before taking my own inventory.
When I was happy I gave thanks to the Divine; when I was in need I took matters into my own hands.
Healing from Betrayal . . .
"AUTHENTICS: To remember every act is sacred . . . "
Another of the "AUTHENTICS: To remember every thought, every word, every action, every creation is sacred . . . "
If you are about to betray someone, don't . . .
If you suspect you are being betrayed, do something about it . . .
If you know someone else is being betrayed, speak up . . .
Nothing is worse than the betrayal to yourself.
Earth Angel would LOVE your feedback . . .
This is a serious and heavy subject. If you like what you read by Earth Angel, however, please consider giving this Hub a THUMBS UP . . . We LOVE feedback and look forward to reading your comments below . . . In the meantime, we send you blessings that betrayal leave no lasting scars, Earth Angel