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"What makes a woman sexy?"

Updated on March 25, 2011

Gone are the days of sexiness hidden behind closed doors; there is no need to hide or partially hide “sexy” anymore! On television advertisements, on billboards, on postcards and in magazines you can get an eyeful of scantily clad women blatantly advertising their bodies in an effort to lure you into a purchase of some kind. So, when a woman makes a conscious decision to act sexy, to look sexy and to dress sexy, a man wonders… what is she trying to sell, and if I make a purchase will it be worth my hard earned cash?

Women sell their sexiness for whatever they may be in need of- attention, money, sex, power, love, companionship, mental stimulation, friendship or even a meal. In the same token, the purchasers of the sexiness also purchase according to their needs. When the needs align, an excellent purchase is made, when the needs misalign, either the seller or the purchaser may end up quite dissatisfied and unhappy.

So what makes a woman sexy? Most obviously, answers vary according to the needs of the person behind the lens.

Most teenage boys are exclusively visually stimulated. Just the vision of a woman in Victoria’s Secret lingerie on a television screen is enough to make them fall in love. During the fragile teenage years, males are suckers for physical sexiness and they helplessly respond to the needs of their body as they go through various hormonal changes. However, although partial or full nudity of most women may trigger a response in most teenage boys, it is around this age that each male begins to discover his own preferences of physical sexiness. Some prefer toned, trim, athletic teenage girls or women; while others may prefer buxom women with hour glass figures. Although some body types may be generally preferred than others, it is obvious even from the perspective of teenagers, that one’s view of physical sexiness is subjective, and almost every female at some point in her life is, has been or will be sexy to some male out there.

As teenage boys mature visual stimulation does not go away, but other female attributes become of more importance to them. Charisma, intellect, carriage, posture, confidence, independence and so many more characteristics become sexy to males as they move away from teenage years into manhood. Yet men are still captivated by women according to their personal needs. Quiet men may see sexiness in women who are effervescent and loud. Intellectual men may see sexiness in the way a woman speaks, in her coherent thoughts or in her effortless wit. Married men looking for affairs may find rawness and vulgarity sexy.

I recently had a chat with a professor of a university in Boston who told me these words, “My idea of sexiness has changed over the years. While physical beauty is a bonus, there is nothing sexier to me than a well learned woman who can converse with me at length on just about any topic. A woman with a sexy mind is simply amazing.” Though this professor did not undermine the relevance of physical beauty, he made it clear that the perception of sexiness changes as one keeps maturing.

To this extent, I will maintain my stance that a woman’s sexiness is not determined by the extent of her effort to appear sexy, but by the extent to which her personal characteristics align with the needs of the man looking to purchase “sexy”. So, if you are one of those women out there who feels shunned when you get all dressed up in cleavage baring dresses and four inch heels and your attempts to sell your sexiness fail; Please realize that it is not you, you are no less sexy than you feel- the simple fact is, you just may not have been marketing the kind of sexy that was looking to be purchased at that time, or by that someone.


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