What makes your marriage secure? Is it emotional or financial?
What makes your marriage secure? There are times when you feel emotional security is just not enough for your marriage to work. You feel financial security means a lot to make your marriage stable. You crave for a good social status and immense wealth.
You hunger after the best things in life- good food, trendy cars and beautiful bungalow! You work yourself wearily to achieve your aim. With the combined income of both you attain incredible social status at a young age itself. You can afford to go to classic restaurants, wear trendy dresses and the materialistic affluence you enjoy is awesome.
Does this signify that your marriage is secure?
No, it does not! Your status symbols are signs of your financial well being and financial security. But it has nothing to do with your happiness in your married life. Good relationship needs something else. It needs the emotional well being of your relationship.
The sad life of my rich friend!
The other day I visited my school friend and was astounded to see her affluence. Her home was like a palace and the furnishings were done with classic taste. She had many servants at her beck and call and her big garden was a treat to see. But what amazed me was her jaded look.
‘I am very lonely. My husband does not have time for the family and is always away from home citing some business reasons. I am envied by others because I am rich. But I envy couples who enjoy their life together with happy compatibility’ she sighed sadly.
I thought the life of my friend was a revelation. Money does give you incredible social status and buying power. You need money to live in self-respect. But can money buy you happiness? Can money bring you and your spouse emotionally closer?
It definitely cannot! Money can only buy you tangible things! The money you eagerly seek cannot buy your emotional well being in marriage. It is emotional well being that makes you feel content and happy in your relationship.
What does emotional security need? Compatibility, tolerance, adjustability, commitment and accountability are all compulsory emotional elements of a good marriage. But it is not enough if you have emotional security alone. You need money to make you financially secure.
Financial security and emotional security go hand in hand. One cannot do without the other. Your marriage needs fifty percent of financial well being and fifty percent of emotional well being.
When you do not nurture your relationship and spend quality time with your spouse you might have tons of money, but no happiness. In modern life your total focus is on money. You strive hard to make yourself wealthy and affluent. So you plan the financial aspect of your married life meticulously. When you run after money you do not have time to build a perfect and ideal relationship. With work related stress overwhelming you, you do not spend happy and peaceful moments with your spouse.
What does marriage mean?
Married life means love and care! It is the emotional intimacy you enjoy with your spouse that paves way for immense happiness in your marriage.
Does this mean you should not work towards your financial betterment?
You should definitely work towards making your married life financially safe and sound. But you should understand that money means financial well being and not happiness.
It is amazing how you and your spouse discuss in detail the ways to make your family financially well off and chart out a perfect plan for it.
But do you talk together to smooth out your differences? You want happiness in your married life to come by itself without any input from your side. Fulfillment and satisfaction in married life will never happen on its own. Both have to contribute towards making your relationship emotionally secure.
Emotional well being involves many wonderful feelings in your relationship.
- It is the feeling of care and concern when your spouse is under stress.
- It is the sense of belonging you feel when you are together.
- It is the loneliness you feel when your spouse is out of station.
- It is the pride you feel for the success of your spouse.
- It is the sense of oneness you feel when you deal with problems together.
Can you see why you need financial security and emotional security for your relationship to thrive? You should make your family financially secure and you should also be more inclined towards your emotional togetherness. It gives your marriage the beauty and depth of true love.
© 2014 mathira