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What role do you play in the Game of Life?

Updated on March 19, 2009

What role do you play?

What personality type are you?

Although it's not a good idea to put people into boxes, and to be honest, most of us don't fit into any one box perfectly anyway, we are often a mixture of a couple of different boxes. That's what makes us unique. However, I've decided to incur the wrath of strangers and do it anyway. So, have a look and decide which role you play in the Game of Life. Which one are you most like?

Veronique the Victim

  • Ηas a low self-esteem and feelings of being unworthy
  • Feels sorry for themselves
  • Gives in at the first sign of a threat, avoids confrontation and is unable to stand up for self
  • Believes their needs don't count
  • Can't take responsibility for their own feelings or actions
  • Can't make or stick to decisions
  • Is often over-sensitive and very anxious
  • Truly believes they can't take care of themselves
  • Makes excuses for remaining a Victim
  • Will actually lie to themselves about their ability to change their situation
  • Will convince you they had 0% responsibilty for their Victimhood
  • Can be very manipulative
  • Uses 'Poor me' and 'Blame' to evoke sympathy which is another way of getting attention
  • Feels that life hasn't been fair to them, but they are too scared to risk making the changes to move forward
  • May have had an over-protective parent who led them to believe they were helpless, or an over-anxious parent who would lose the plot whenever their child had to suffer because of mistakes they made
  • Gifted Victim will convince you their problems are yours
  • A Master Victim will engineer his problems to become your problems

Roger the Rescuer

  • Has a low self-esteem
  • Builds up their self-esteem by being seen as unselfish for someone else's good
  • Often has mixed motives
  • Uses rescuing to connect with others or to feel important
  • Uses rescuing to reduce their own feelings of anxiety
  • Rescuing becomes an excuse not to address their own problems
  • Feels guilty when not involved with other's problems
  • Loses their self to meet others' needs and this causes depression
  • Feels that the Victim owes them for all they've done for them
  • Believes that because they have always willingly helped others, people will help them in return when they need it, but it rarely happens
  • Sooner or later they start to feel that they are being taken advantage of, and then become a Martyr or Victim themselves
  • Rescuing can become addictive as it makes them feel good at the expenses of others' rights to take care of themselves

Colin the Control-freak

  • Tries to boost their low self-esteem by trying to control everything around them
  • Believe that they have the task of protecting the world from mistakes
  • Usually unaware that it's their fears that drives their behaviours
  • Obsess about every tiny detail to try and keep a safe distance from mistakes
  • Risk takers scare them

Cameron the Commitment-Phobic

  • ‘The grass is always greener on the other side’ is their life motto.
  • Will go all out to snare you and will be very attentive, then will start to come up with excuses as to why they cannot make a date
  • They will avoid at all costs, any talk or discussion of any troubling issues in your relationship
  • They will always tell you how ‘busy’ they are
  • Will often have been badly hurt by someone in the past, so will subconsciously hide behind their wall every time someone gets too close for comfort
  • Might have a fear of getting old, and getting seriously involved with someone, means settling down, and in their eyes settling down means losing their youth.
  • Could have had a childhood growing up in an abusive family environment, or have been a pawn in a bitter divorce
  • Most feel bad when they hurt others emotionally

Paula the Persecutor

  • Gives the impression that they feel superior to others
  • Gets high on the adrenalin rush when fighting and witnessing fights
  • Anger and self-righteousness seems to give them the energy to ward off depression
  • Needs to be in control and will use verbal abuse to keep in control
  • Uses anger to cope with threats, new ideas and conflicts
  • Releases stress by blaming, criticizing and attacking others
  • Very judgmental of others and gets annoyed when they don't do what they say
  • Believes that nothing will happen if it wasn’t for them and they are 200% responsible for any good thing that happens
  • Believes that everybody 'owes' them
  • They deny their own weaknesses and use anger to cover them up
  • They will always find reasons to make others wrong and will even go so far as to turning them into a scapegoat
  • Believes that others deserve the abuse and punishment they dish out.
  • Could either have had a parent who spoiled them and always gave them their own way, or who was aggressive and showed them how to win by using force Billy the Serial Bully
  • Pathological liar who can make up a convincing lie at the drop of a hat
  • Has a split personality - nasty, spiteful and vengeful in private and to their current Victim, and charming and innocent in front of others
  • Very good at using excessive charm to deceive others, so nobody believes the poor target of the serial bully when they try and report their actions
  • Shallow, superficial and has the ability to verbally outmanoeuvre anybody
  • Will always suck up to their superiors
  • Has a good memory and is able to memorise material and feed it back in such a convincing way, that they can convince people they actually did it, used it or saw it
  • Very good at anticipating what people want to hear
  • Is all talk and usually can't be relied upon or trusted to fulfill their commitments
  • Is emotionally immature and often displays emotional age of a five year old, but has the language and intellect of an intelligent adult
  • Is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy in a relationship
  • Often shows unusual and inappropriate attitudes towards sex and bodily functions, and this is used to discriminate against and harass others
  • Self-opinionated and arrogant and makes prejudicial comments about other races, gender, religions, homosexuals in private, and are charming towards those people in public
  • Is a control-freak and will poison people's minds to manipulate their thoughts and emotions.
  • Very good at creating conflict and then moving aside to become the caring supportive observer
  • Will target people who see through them and will turn their lives into a living hell
  • Are convinced that they are born leaders, but will resort to bullying tactics when placed in a leadership role
  • Always a taker and never a giver
    Ron the Rationaliser
  • Cut off from their feelings and go inside their head to figure things out.
  • Protect themselves from feeling emotions at all costs.
  • Attract people who display the emotions they’re holding on to.
  • People they attract will press their buttons to get them in touch with their buried emotions.
  • Will stop attracting button pressers once they’ve expressed their emotions.
    Harry the Human Predator
  • Often have the appearance of having a healthy self-esteem and come across as confident, but it's often a facade to hide the frightened child inside
  • Power hungry who wants everything their own way and doesn't mind underrating and humiliating others
  • Choose to take advantage of others because they can and because it is often still within the limits of the law
  • Has no conscience
  • Destroys a person's virtues and then inflicts emotional pain on them
  • Believe that they have a right to destroy and take advantage of those weaker than them, as that is the law of nature - only the strong survive
  • Many are drug dealers, pimps, quacks, faith healers, and con artists who thrive on human greed
  • Control, manipulation, domination and making lots of money are their goals
    Patrick the Player
  • Appears to have a high opinion of themselves, but this often hides a low self-esteem
  • They continually have to prove themselves to others and themselves
  • Is also commitment-phobic
  • Seldom believes in monogamy
  • Don’t care if they hurt other’s feelings
  • They look on cheating on a spouse as a sign of intelligence and worthiness, and something to be proud of
  • They are only interested in a person’s outward appearance and have no interest in getting to know the real person inside
  • Are incredibly shallow
    Emily the Enabler
  • Shields their partner from the harmful consequences of their behaviour
  • Avoids conflict and will do whatever to keep the peace
  • Will keep secrets about their partner's bad behaviour from others
  • Will always make excuses for their partner's bad behaviour and blame others and try and evoke sympathy for them
  • Constantly fixes up their partner's problems by bailing them out each time
  • Claims to have a deep understanding of their partner, and will claim that the problem is a result of a bad childhood, shyness, abuse etc
  • Avoids and hides away from the dependent partner when things get too much
  • Gives out money that is undeserved and unearned
  • Assumes the role of caregiver so dependent partner no longer has to do anything for themselves
  • Makes threats that are never followed through
  • Attempts to control the dependent partner by planning their lives for them
    Nora the Nazi
  • appears friendly
  • lacks self-esteem
  • has no friends
  • hovers in the background unnoticed, picking up information
  • feels it's their duty to report the information they picked up
  • they feel good only when they get someone else into trouble
  • usually in the background somewhere gloating when the proverbial shit hits the fan
  • will pretend to be supportive, while looking for another knife for your back
  • often workaholics or compulsive and obsessive about something, as that is what they live for, having no social life
    Chris the Co-dependent
  • Usually overly responsible and emotional
  • Is dependent on their partner emotionally, but the dependency is hurtful, emotionally stunted or keeps them from moving forward
  • Puts other's needs before their own, and has tendency to live their life through another or for another
  • Blames others for everything wrong in their life or with themselves
  • ries to control others and circumstances around them by using force, threats, blackmail, advice giving, helplessness, laying down guilt trips, insulting, removing assets, selfishness, denial - anything to manipulate the other to maintain control
  • Will accuse the other partner of being the controlling one
  • Often has emotional problems like depression, anxiety, insomnia, addictions, obsessive behaviour in relationships
  • Constantly seeks approval from their partner and has no sense of self-identity outside the relationship
  • Scared and uncomfortable when alone
  • Low self-esteem and very self-critical and has many fears
  • Tends to be Rescuers and actively seek out those who 'need' them
  • Have a poor set of boundaries and have problems setting limits for themselves and for others
  • Attempts to 'fix' others or run their lives for them, often inappropriately
  • Have a strong need to take care of others, but still have the false belief that the other person is responsible for them
    Destiny the Serial Dater
  • Is commitment-phobic and will find any excuse to dump their partner if they get too close
  • Silly things might put them off a person, like the way they comb their hair, or the shoes they wear…
  • Will often spend the whole date talking about themselves, how lonely they are and why they can’t ever seem to find the right one for them
  • Deep down they don’t believe they are worthy and also believe they don’t deserve to be fancied by someone, and will often subconsciously sabotage potential relationships
  • They have a fear of being hurt or rejected, so have built a big wall around their heart
    Neville the Narcissist
  • Often comes from a family where they were ignored, so they crave attention
  • Present a false self to the world which is one of arrogance and they are better than everybody else
  • Has inner emptiness and many fears which they try and hide behind their false self, fears of being unwanted, unlovable, inferior and inadequate
  • Has a tendency to exaggerate their accomplishments and boast about things to try and make people admire them
  • Very dependent on other's approval, so are overly sensitive and will turn nasty if they think there is any hint of criticism, and will even go so far as to plan out a revenge attack
  • Self-absorbed, shallow and emotionally immature so has problems having personal relationships
  • Has created a fantasy world where they can entertain their dreams of greatness, although their dreams are usually unrealistic, however, they often convince themselves that they have attained their unrealistic dreams
  • Will sometimes offer to help others, but this is usually for sake of appearance only
  • Most people see through the Narcissist and hand them out their biggest fear - rejection
    Abe the Abuser
  • Has a low self-esteem
  • Have a fear of letting anyone get close to them as this makes them feel insecure
  • Has a compulsive need to always be in control and has the tendency to become control-freaks
  • Can be likeable and present themselves well, but they are broken inside and the person they present to the world is not the real person they are
  • They tend to have little or no clue that they have a problem
  • They can always come up with good reasons for their bad behaviour, and say that they were provoked and had no option but to behave in an angry way
  • They are always right and can justify their temper tantrums by blaming their partner
  • Their initial provocations are unseen by others, but their partner's reactions are more visible and to friend's and family, the abused partner might seem at fault
  • They abuse their partner when things are going well to stop them from getting too close, as they believe if you let someone get too close, then you open yourself up for hurt
  • They expect their partner to be available to their every need 24 hours a day no matter what, and will 'punish' their partner if they are not available
  • Self-absorbed and often set high expectations which can't be met, so they take their disappointments out on their partner
  • Relationship is focused solely on meeting their emotional needs and they display no interest in meeting their partner's emotional needs
  • Tend to take everything personally and to feel that people are blaming them, and will resort to extreme measures to prove that things are not their fault
  • Often the victim of abuse themselves, or emotional neglect because of parent's addiction or illness, or difficult life so far
  • Have never learned that it's okay to make mistakes or be imperfect
  • Have learned to take things personally and to always feel others are blaming them, so they resort to extreme measures to prove that they are not at fault.
    Avril the Addict
  • Lacks willpower and will easily let a substance or person take control of their life
  • Low self-esteem, has lots of anxieties and fears, and the addiction serves as a crutch to make them feel good, however temporarily
  • Takes no steps to end the relationship even if they know it's bad for them
  • Finds reasons to stay in the relationship which doesn't counteract the harmful effects it has on them
  • Thoughts of ending the addictive relationship cause terrible anxiety and fear which makes them cling to it even more
  • When they finally end the relationship, they might experience withdrawal symptoms which can even be physical pain, and this is only relieved by re-establishing contact
    Aunty Agatha the Advisor
  • has had, or knows of lots of experiences to draw from and
  • is able to offer advice about most things
    usually means well, though can be seen as interfering
    might offer advice when not asked for it
  • some enjoy saying, "I told you so"
  • will give you options and possible solutions, but won't fix your problem for you. That you have to do your self
    Geraldine the Gossipmonger
  • very social and has many friends
  • favourite words are, "This is strictly in confidence"
  • knows everything that is happening about everybody
  • is a good source for information
  • can be very gullible and will truly believe most things
  • no mean intentions, just can't resist a juicy tale
  • often their life is boring, so they get off on the dramas of others
    Richard the Rebel
  • Attention-seeking
  • Has a low self-esteem and always has something to prove
  • Deliberately has to be outrageous or do something outrageous to get attention
  • They don’t differentiate between positive or negative attention – in their eyes all attention is good
  • Above all, all they really want is to be admired and loved
  • Might have been the ‘middle child’ in the family, or had parents who were too busy to pay them the attention they deserved

    Larry the Layabout
  • Often have a low self-esteem and low sense of self-worth, believing that they are useless and can’t do anything right
  • Believe that it’s better not to try, than risk trying and failing
  • Are not risk-takers and seldom show initiative
  • Will always have reasons for their bouts of laziness and it will never be their fault
  • Are quite happy to watch others working, and seldom feel guilty about not pulling their weight
    Mick the Best Mate
  • Very popular and social being
  • Prefers same sex company
  • Would rather go out for a night on the town with mates, than stay home with their partner
  • Will bring home their buddies without asking if it's okay first
  • Mates' needs are far more important than their partner's
  • Can get nasty when stopped from going out with mates
  • Friends all believe that there must be something wrong with the ‘stay-at-home’ partner
    Pete the People Pleaser
  • Low self-esteem
  • People take advantage of them
  • Often feels unappreciated
  • Has problems supervising others as doesn't like upsetting people or making people not like them
  • Time management becomes an issue and they might reach burnout
  • Lose their personal identity
  • Don't know how to relax and have problems making decisions
  • Struggle to accept kindness from others, prefer to do all the giving
  • Often insecure with others and this has a negative effect on their interpersonal relationship
  • Disorganised and comes unglued under pressure
  • Has a compulsive need to please others which is derived from their many fears
  • Avoids conflicts and fights at any cost
  • Denies that there are problems, everything is always all right, even when it isn't
  • Insecure about their abilities and often run themselves down to friends
  • Always smiling and interested in other's welfare
  • Ready to take on any new challenge that comes along
  • Ready to volunteer. Accepts delegation and is the ultimate team player
  • Easy to get along with, helpful and supportive. Always ready to go along with requests made by others makes them popular, warm caring people
    Sarah the Scammer
  • Always on the look out for the main chance
  • Often befriends those they feel are weaker than themselves, or who have something they want or can use
  • Often has a good self-esteem and can come across as quite confident
  • Will pretend to be suffering from ‘Poor Me’ Syndrome, to get people to feel sorry for them and then give them things
  • Never worries about hurting other’s feelings, or misplacing their trust
  • Whatever they have is never enough, and they always want more, and will use and abuse whoever to get it
    Mandy the Manipulator
  • Crafty, cunning and is an ace at reading situations
  • Great actor, and can play any role to get what they want
  • Is the master of mind games
  • Can be very subtle and very persuasive
  • Uses blame a lot to make people feel guilty and do what they want
  • Loves to play the ‘Persecutor’ role in the Drama Triangle
    Denise the Drama Queen
  • Low self-esteem
  • Needs to be the centre of attention to feel good
  • Moves from one drama to the next
  • Has ability to turn any situation into a drama
  • Usually a good storyteller and can keep a crowd entertained
  • Can use this as a ploy to attract a Rescuer
  • Might occasionally exaggerate the details to improve the drama
    Simon the Stubborn Mule
  • Has great persistence
  • Never gives up even when adversities mount
  • Often very proud
  • Not very good at asking for or accepting help
  • Not easily swayed from their beliefs, even if they are wrong
  • Low self-esteem so constantly trying to prove a point
  • Many admire their doggedness, but others find it frustrating
    Sam the Self-Destructor
  • Very low self-esteem
  • Believes they are worthless and can't do anything right
  • Very poor self-image
  • Favourite saying is "Everything I touch turns to shit."
  • Very negative person
  • Believes they'll fail before they start something
  • Often will subconsciously sabotage something that might be succeeding
  • Lives permanently in pity party mode
  • Doesn't want help as they get off on sympathy
  • Others find them energy-sapping and tire of them easily
    Leo the Loner
  • Can have a low self-esteem
  • Has often been badly hurt in the past and mistrusts other people and their intentions
  • Has built a humungous wall around their heart
  • Behind the wall is often a ‘little child’ just wanting to be loved, but is so filled with fear
  • Is a bit of a voyeur and would rather watch from a distance than take part
  • Believes there is safety in isolation
    Candice the Crusader
  • Low self-esteem
  • Build themselves up by fighting for a cause
  • Will take on another's problems to avoid dealing with their own
  • Can let their cause become all-consuming, and neglect important matters concerning themselves
  • Others admire them and this makes them feel good
    Marlene the Mindreader
  • Thinks that they always know what other people are thinking
  • Will base their actions on their assumptions
  • Always believes that they have assumed correctly
  • Instinctively knows what's good for someone else
  • Gets frustrated when people don't react the way they perceived
  • Favourite words are, "But, I thought...."
  • Might not give you information as they can foretell your reaction
    Ben the Bouncing Ball
  • Fears being tied down, but fears letting go
  • Collects friends like others collect stamps
  • Drops in out of the blue and resumes friendship
  • Disappears again without a warning, leaving people wondering what they did to upset the bouncing ball
  • Bounces in and out of relationships, never ending things, always leaving the door open to one day come back
  • Often easily bored with same routine, so constantly looking for the thrill of a new beginning, which they can keep having every time they bounce back into a relationship
  • Need the security of having on/off relationships with people they know
    Pat the Procrastinator
  • Always puts off till tomorrow what needs to be done today
  • Has problems prioritising things
  • Files problems in the 'too hard basket' and plans on revisiting them later
  • Easily distracted
  • Very creative at finding excuses
  • Will often keep putting off ending a relationship that's going nowhere
  • Nothing is ever their fault
    Ian the Indecisive
  • Low self-esteem
  • Has problems making choices and decisions
  • Afraid of commitment to anything
  • Relies on someone else to make the decision for them
  • Believes that if they stick their head in the sand the problem will go away – Ostrich Syndrome
  • Doesn't have fixed ideas or viewpoints, and can be easily swayed
  • Scared of doing the wrong thing, so rather do nothing
  • Might ask everybody's advice, and then still do nothing
    Hannah the Hope Stealer
  • Is a very negative person and will always point out the bad things in every situation
  • Pretends to be well-meaning, while exaggerating the pitfalls you might face
  • Is a very unhappy person with a low self-esteem, and will often go out of the way to infect others with their general unhappiness
  • Will never let another enjoy their successes, but will always feel obliged to point out all the things which could go wrong or undermine that success
  • Will always dash the hopes and dreams of another person
  • Is filled with fear and too scared to take a risk or to have a dream themselves
    Dennis the Dreamer
  • Is an ‘ideas’ person
  • Can imagine the end result, but often lacks the drive and determination to get there
  • Has problems finishing what they start
  • Can get depressed when things don’t work out, but never stays down for long
  • Can easily lose their focus if another dream gets in the way
  • Can be very spontaneous
    Rick the Risk-taker
  • Is easily bored, needs constant challenges
  • Is prepared to take a chance to improve their lot in life, and concedes that sometimes it might not work
  • Able to think outside the square
  • Very spontaneous
  • Prepared to try everything at least once
  • Might sometimes overlook potential pitfalls with dire results

    Desiree the Desperate
  • Low self-esteem and poor self-image
  • Often attracted to the wrong kind of people
  • Will ignore abuse and cheating to hang on to their partner
  • ‘Having that particular person in their life’ is their number one priority
  • Can become obsessive and smothering
  • Will do or endure whatever it takes to have that particular person
  • Will even go as far as re-inventing themselves for that person
  • Will never be truly happy as they aren't being true to themselves
    Peggy the Panic Pot
  • Low self-esteem
  • Has many fears about a lot of different things
  • Has a negative outlook on life and always expects the worst
  • Suffers from anxiety and can get panic attacks
  • Gets easily stressed and loses focus
  • Only sees the problems and not possible solutions
  • Wants a Rescuer to fix things and take away the anxiety
  • Might wish hibernation was an option until the problem disappeared
    Julian the Judge
  • Might have an overly good self-esteem
  • This gives them the right to criticise others
  • Nobody is as good as they are
  • They look down on others from their judge's bench, deciding who should be helped and who should be punished
  • People in their group might look up to them and follow their lead
  • They can have a lot of influence, into who is allowed in their group
  • Can be unforgiving, don't get on their wrong side
    Mary the Mediator
  • Has a good self-esteem
  • Very level headed and well-balanced
  • Has good problem solving skills
  • Able to see both sides of a disagreement, and give impartial advice
  • Is emotionally mature
  • People confide in the Mediator
  • Is often called upon to act as a go-between
  • Has a sympathetic nature, but is not a Rescuer
    Ingrid the Internet Lover
  • Very low self-esteem
  • Might be shy in face-to-face situations
  • Will have been hurt or suffered rejection in the past
  • Prefers meeting people on the internet, as gives them a
    feeling of control
  • Able to live out fantasies which they are too scared to try in real-life
  • Can hide behind the screen if they are self-conscious about their looks
  • Finds safety in associating with strangers
  • Often have no intention of meeting the people they chat to
  • Having an internet partner/friend, gives them a sense of belonging and having someone to care about
  • Can be very lonely and very unhappy with their life
  • Becomes anti-social, turning down invitations, to stay at home in front of the net
  • They are more confident with the safety of the screen between them the stranger on the other side
    Brenda the Busy Bee
  • Low self-esteem
  • Permanently multi-tasking and always under pressure
  • Appears to thrive on pressure, but the truth is - it's a back-up excuse in case something fails. Too much to do so not their fault
  • ‘Busyness’ stops them from spending time with themselves
  • Being busy is a way of avoiding their problems and situation
  • People admire their ability to multi-task, and this makes them feel good
  • Time management becomes an issue and they might reach burnout, then they look for a Rescuer to save them
    Candy the Comfort-eater
  • Low self-esteem and often has poor coping skills
  • Looks on food as a temporary fix when all else turns to custard
  • Often feels that they have no control over their lives, and the only control they have is what they put into their mouths
  • Will eat even if they are not hungry
  • Usually non-confrontational and quite placid in nature
  • Will often think of their eating as punishing those who hurt them, rather than punishing themselves
    Pattern could have started during an unhappy childhood
  • May even hide away to eat or hide their food, but will tell you that they don’t know why they are obese as they hardly eat anything
    Petra the Pathological Liar
  • Their lies fool a lot of people most of the time as they are so convincing
  • They often believe their own lies, especially after they’ve repeated them enough
  • Have difficulty differentiating between fact and fiction and sometimes don’t even realise they are lying
  • Quick thinking with a good memory makes them difficult to catch out
  • Will often choose to lie rather than tell the truth, even if the truth isn’t so bad at all
    Jack the Joker
  • Low self-esteem
  • Often hides a deep sadness inside
  • Is very social and has many acquaintances rather than friends
  • Has a need to make people laugh and be the centre of attention
  • Appears to never be serious about anything
  • Subconsciously might worry about everything
  • Always concerned about what people think of them
    Sylvia the Stalker
  • Very low self-esteem
  • Often has suffered continued rejection in the past
  • Creates a fantasy life with the other person in their mind, which is very real to them
  • Has difficulty accepting that the other person doesn't want them or even know them
  • They convince themselves that they'll be able to persuade their target to love them or want them
  • Very obsessive, and can get very jealous of anybody else in their target's life
    Capable of harming themselves, their target, or people connected to their target if they feel their love is unrequited
  • They focus so much on their target, that they don't have time for their day to day living, or developing new relationships
    Penny the Perfectionist
  • If they have a low self-esteem, then they try and create an ordered, perfect environment, over which they have control
  • This could be a way to cover up disorder somewhere else in their lives
  • Disorder causes them anxiety and panic attacks
  • They could be obsessive compulsive people
  • They often choose partners who are the complete opposite to them, and use their desire for perfection as a way to control their partner
  • They get a kick out of other people complementing them on their perfection
    Martha the Martyr
  • Very low self-esteem and self-image
  • Only way they feel worthy is by making sacrifices
  • When other people admire them or feel sorry for them for making sacrifices, then they feel good
  • Often end up being taken advantage of or being treated like a doormat
  • Soldiering on and being a Martyr is often a ploy to get rewards
  • Their favourite words are, "But look what I did/sacrificed for you..."
  • They appear selfless, but often have an ulterior motive
  • They often don't want to be rescued, as that stops them from being a Martyr and having a Pity Party
    Shawn the Scatologist
  • Low self-esteem
  • Judgmental and hyper-critical
  • Will never take responsibility when they do something wrong
  • They prefer to go back to all previous situations and altercations and sift through the brown smelly stuff, to throw in your face
  • They store past injustices to call upon, as a way of
    detracting from what they've done wrong
  • They might occasionally forgive, but they never forget
    Pam the Pervert
  • Could have a low self-esteem
  • Easily bored by the conventional
  • Looks for different ways to get a sexual kick
  • Has a desire to shock, thus grabbing the attention
  • Could come from an abusive background
  • Might be very conservative in their everyday lives
  • Very curious, has a desire to experiment with new sensations
  • Might be the only area in their life where they have some control
  • Might be fearful of 'normal' relationships, because of being hurt in the past, and can become someone else by creating a fantasy situation, or prefer to watch as an outsider
    Nigel the Neglector
  • Is so involved in their own needs and interests, that they don't recognise the needs of others, especially their children
  • Will withdraw from their family to meet needs outside their home
  • Has a very busy life, be it work-related, sport, hobby, drinking, drugs or even an affair so children left to fend for themselves
  • When they are at home, their mind is elsewhere, so children find them cold and rejecting
  • Often expects the older child to raise the younger ones and take care of their needs as well, and this causes an angry child who had to give up their childhood

    We can also play Control Games. Every time we help someone just so that they owe us; acquire power by any means; seek vengeance by punishing someone who has committed some grievous sin against us; tell lies and pretend to be nice; avoid a problem to get out of a hole; run away from things we think we can’t deal with; take our problems at work out on our partner or continually make excuses for someone – allowing them to keep repeating their behaviour, then we are playing a Control Game. So, what role do you play in the Game of Life?                    From my book, Fear, Phobias and Frozen Feet


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