- Gender and Relationships»
- Dating & Online Dating
What to Do After a Breakup
Share the good news of a new beau with a good friend. It feels great
Letting the other persona go is certainly hard to do. Though, life after a break up may seem even harder.
Breaking up is hard to do. Some breakups are harder than others. A number of relationships are certainly more serious than others. While a few during a lifetime hit directly in the heart, others simply slide silently away. No one plans on it at the start of a connection. Conditions change or remain the same. One way or another everyone experiences a breakup at some time. The question is what to do afterward? No matter who or why the sensation or feelings are never good.
There are times when it is necessary
There are times when the situation dictates it’s not a desire but a need. A position makes it a necessity. There are circumstances existing where leaving one behind is healthy. The old saying "some things are simply are not meant to be for whatever reason" is the truth. The question is what to do after a breakup which makes a person feel whole or even better.
This is not an article on how to get an ex back. After it is over look at it as a new beginning for each person. When it is time to move on be prepared. These are tips to help after the deed is done and for many what to do next.
Meeting new people does not mean a need for a psychiatrist
Getting interested in someone new or wanted to know someone better does not mean a link up with a psychiatrists or a relationship therapist. Bonding with an individual in an attempt to disconnect from an old one is not good unless there is a professional relationship. Most people are okay without paying for help sorting through emotions tied to a breakup.
Avoid using a new companion for advice on an old one. Pay for a professional therapist if needed. A possible connection ends before it begins by pouring out all the heartache felt inside to a new friend.
If the new honey asks innocently about the last one do not take this to mean an okay to start a three hour monologue. Avoid the beginning of a new found friendship on a bad note. Stay away from Debbie Downer showing up.
Provide a brief overview of something short and sweet. Try "I was in a relationship and now I am not". A simple note of why it failed is okay. However, most new companions are not psychiatrists avoid treating them like one.
Stay away from comparisons
No two people are alike. This is part of attractions. Everyone is different, which means an ex is not a copy cat of a new companion. Comparing exes to new friends and partners is not a good thing.
Know is type of behavior will never weigh out evenly, apples are not oranges. There will always be someone better than the other at something. Equating one to the other is bad for both people involved. Uniqueness makes everyone stand apart from one another. Differences are what most folks find the most attractive thing about lots of people.
Put the best face forward
The saying of putting the best foot forward when meeting new people is a good thing. Put the best face forward as well. Have a constructive outlook and imagine the best instead of the worst.
Stay away from a good wallow in misery simply because it is easy to do so. Remember, there is one chance to make a good first impression. Positive thoughts and an encouraging mind make everything look better along with being healthy all around. Mental and physically feeling good is connected with optimistic thoughts.
More importantly misery loves company. For folks finding misery the best company there confidence is generally failing. A tendency exists for an attraction to negative people with negative thoughts and feelings. There is a certainty the bad looks worse and the good is farther away than most imagine.
Try and stay away from an immediate new commitment to someone else
There is no law which says everyone needs to be in a relationship at all times. It is not healthy to commit to a new relationship too soon. Try being single on for size. This is a state of mind which makes some people feel better because it has been a state of mind not seen for quite some time. Others enjoy the freedom it brings. Making unilateral decisions is easier for more than a few folks.
The decision of declaring love too soon is an error a lot of people make. Although there is actual love at first sight, it is rare. Also keep the definition of liking and loving in mind. A great friendship is not the same as head over heels in love.
There is a possibility of an overflow of emotion from one relationship to another. The old feelings bleed into a new one. A fast flow of the serious conversation of love is not good. Before sharing the phrase seriously think about the repercussions of both people. Jumping into it is not a good thing.
Be strong enough emotionally after the end of a relationship before making a decision this large. It’s very easy to see someone new as nice and sweet and possibly the next best thing in this lifetime.
This is not always the case. It is possible to establish a simple friendship or a lasting one in place of a romance.
Never repeat the same mistake over and over
It’s very simple; learn from the first time around. Gain a good thing from a bad experience. Take the lesson a failed connection taught and apply it to life and future loves. Gain from errors made in from the failure.
Discover what to do and what not to do for a positive outcome. Expect to be treated the same as the treatment dished out. Be good to others to see it refunded back.
Bad relationships end for good reasons
Bad reasons for finality are typically tied to infidelity, lying, cheating or other things tied to trust. Other things like physical or mental abuse are always indicators it is time to go.
A tone or sentiment pointing to an underlying negative emotion is typically seen at the beginning of one not destined for success.
Most people admit following better judgement or gut instincts to cut it short saved a lot of suffering.
Amazon has great advice on breaking up. This does not have to be all or none. Some folks find it one of the best things in life.
Someone new means something new
Meeting new people and having new experiences are going to happen with each step forward in life. Connecting with someone new and looking back constantly is not a great way to do that. What exists in the past is past. Certainly take the positive wisdom from the last failed relationship and apply it to any new found love. However, someone new is not someone old and old habits were contributing factors to the failure of your prior relations with others are best left behind.
Everyone has the experience of a connection with others which was not successful. This is true for friendships and romantic entanglements. Don’t feel alone and beat up when it is not necessary. No one is perfect.
Take this opportunity to become a better person overall. There are even times when it is a necessity to be alone. There is the possibility of making this circumstance extremely beneficial for more than just one person. In fact, countless people admit these are the times when the best link is discovered. When neither is searching for something more than the single life.
© 2012 smcopywrite