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What to Expect when Dating a Younger Man

Updated on October 7, 2017
Mary Florence profile image

Mary Florence has been a freelance writer for over 5 years and she enjoys writing articles on general topics.

When the cougar claws come out...

You could be the type that swears that you would never be involved with younger men. Anytime you read of a couple their age difference is very important to you. The fact that she is older or younger than the man is even more important to you.

But no matter how much you have vowed to never be involved with a younger man, you will at some point in your life get approached by a younger man or men. No woman can ever escape this fact. Some men do no seem to care about the age difference while some see it as a challenge that they would love to tackle. Some are curious. Some adore older women. Some want a sugar-mummy. Others want to be mothered. Or maybe you look younger than your age and he still wants you when he finds out your real age. Or he finds you attractive and just likes you just as you are. Well, they all have their own reasons.

So you always vowed to never be involved with a younger man but here you are.You are dating or about to date a younger man. Never say never.

Some men do not want to be reminded of the age factor so you better learn to never bring it up. Be honest about your real age and leave it at that. I once read a story about a 26 year old man who thought he was involved with a 24 year old woman but when he one day snooped through her papers he found out she was 40! He left her.

There's nothing you can do about your age. There's nothing to be embarrassedconfident about your age when you meet someone new. Embrace it as it is. You might not be comfortable telling out your age to everybody but when you are in a relationship you really do not have a choice. Some men would not want to be involved with an older woman, some do not like women who lie about their age so be open about it from the start. Just say it and let the man decide.embarrassed

Dating a younger man could be strange to you. You never imagined you would ever date a younger man but somehow you are involved with one and you probably do not know what to expect with him. Here are some hints;

Most of them are in it for Fun and not Commitment

It excites some men to be involved with an older woman. But some might not want to get too involved in it. Societal expectations are to blame. Men are expected to be older, taller and more financially stable than the women. Therefore most of the younger men you will meet are going to be have less qualities of a husband. He could be earning less than her. He just wants to spend his money on simple things and cannot imagine raising a family with that money and with her since his money will not make sense to her. He is excited to be her man but he doesn't trust that he could be sufficient for her. So he settles on what he is sure he can offer her - fun. So long as she does not start talking about commitment and serious matters like marriage and children he is willing to involved with her.

They still have Female "Best-Friends"

"Most of them have female "bffs" (best friends forever). As a grown woman you have been through most types of relationships and you know for a fact that some ideals are fallacies. You have seen it all. You do not believe that a man and a woman cannot be just friends. But he has several female friends and insists on keeping them. He goes out with them. He wants you to believe that men and women can innocently "be tight" and will accuse you of being clingy and jealous if you show signs of being territorial.

You have to keep up with the young blood and dress the part

You have to look great all the time. Younger men are vain. They are shallow. They are attracted by the outward looks and the material aspects of a woman. Watch out you could start dressing up as young as his peers just to fit in. You cannot act your age anymore when you are with him. You want to feel and seem young. While your friends are dressing up as women their age you are struggling to dress up as women his age.

He could easily pressure you into a bad habit

While you try to prove to him that you can fit into his age group he will notice that he can influence you. That's how women involved with younger men suddenly get involved in drug use and drug peddling. Or in robberies. Be careful about being involved with a younger man who has a bad influence in you because you will find yourself involved in his bad habits. Even older people get into peer pressure. It's a shame when your peer pressure is a man you could mould into the man you want him to be.

They are more energetic than men your age

Younger men of whichever age are more energetic than their older female counterparts. It's mainly psychological. He feels he's younger and therefore more energetic than you so expect that in the bedroom and everywhere else for as long as you will be together.

He has a younger "main" woman

He is with you for casual reasons but he has a woman with him he has serious plans. If you provide for him financially chances are high that you are also providing for her through him. He couldn't imagine ever being involved with an older woman but you came to his life with goodies and he likes it because it enables him to sustain his other woman. You could unknowingly provide for a younger man with his full secret family.

Not all younger men are the same

You can be involved with a man who simply sees you as an older woman with whom he cannot have serious plans with. But you could also meet a younger man who truly does treasure you and has no issues with your age and so it is unfair to paint them all with the same brush. Some might be really great long-term companions. When you get involved with younger man give him the chance to show you how he intends to impact your life. Sometimes, age really is nothing but just a number. And don't we know some couples who have been together for ages despite the fact that the lady is older than her man? So go on, give the man a chance.


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    • Mary Florence profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Florence 

      13 months ago

      Thank you very much!

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      13 months ago

      "Most of them are in it for Fun and not Commitment" -Very true!

      In fact being "young" is symbolic with being and wanting to be carefree! Every older person should remember what it was like when (they) were young when dating young people.

      On the other hand most older women have already been married and discovered it was NOT the fairytale.

      Many of them are in a place where they're (enjoying) their newfound freedom of being independent and single again.

      Unlike younger women his own age she has no inkling or desire to pressure him to proposing to her or pledging his undying love before having sex with him. (No cat and mouse games!)

      She's mature enough to have learned to separate sex from love. In fact she may be at point where she's most comfortable with her body and sex than ever before. It can be great for both of them.

      The young guy will love her "experience" and learn things too!

      It's not unusual for some of these young guys to fall head over hills for an older woman who just wants to have fun.

      She'll have to remind him what they have is temporary.

      Naturally there are "exceptions" where younger men do marry older women but more often than not neither the younger man or the older woman wants or expects marriage from their union.

    • Mary Florence profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Florence 

      14 months ago

      Most shy people are not shy on phone, especially texts. You could text each other and end up calling each other and you will gradually start making dating plans.

      You could also flirt a bit with him and give him the card and number. And since you seem to like each other I imagine it's easy. I would even suggest that you ask him out then as you part ways you could tell him that you will be expecting his call the next day. If he calls, hoooray, if not there's nothing else you can do besides moving on although you could gently ask him what happened. But for now I wish you the very best with him.

    • GARH608 profile image

      Pathways thru life 

      14 months ago from Mid West

      Last week I bought "him" a birthday card, I wrote in it, my name phone number and asking him out. Since I only see him at his employment, I wanted to keep it subtle. Of course, the morning of his birthday, I get a phone call that my boss wants me to work with a client at another employment working overnights. I felt awkward in giving "him" the card because of now having to take a rain check or postpone a date until I finished job coaching this client. So, I never gave him the card. (I still have it to.) He is kind of shy. I did not want him to feel any type of rejection because that is not how I feel in the least. The timing went south. He has been staring at me for 2 to 2 1/2 months. When he stares, I am tempted to kiss him, but it being at his employment....I have restrained myself.

      Any help on what I should do now? Breaking the walls of shyness?

    • fer-nie profile image

      Fernando Gonzalez 

      14 months ago from Riverside County, CA

      Hey, I totally get it! You were honestly right on the point, and you weren't wrong in anything you've mentioned.

      I do hope you continue writing. It was a pleasure to read!

    • Mary Florence profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Florence 

      14 months ago

      I appreciate your comments very much. As I was posting the hub I had in mind the some-some situations where they younger man behaves in a typical way but in the end I do acknowledge that men are not the same and a woman could be lucky to meet the different kind of younger man who is interested in a serious relationship.

    • fer-nie profile image

      Fernando Gonzalez 

      14 months ago from Riverside County, CA

      I wanted to add something to this, as I used to be in a situation where a woman 9 years older than me was deeply into me.

      Look, there are numerous advantages to being older than the young male. For one, you're a lot more mature than a lot of girls. We are pretty damn tired of the same old immature girls that just don't know what they want. We want a woman that wants to stick around. Not only that, we are looking for that one woman that helps us BE men. A lot of younger girls that I have dated don't give me that sort of satisfaction.

      Of course, I will admit I have always enjoyed dating older girls, though I can't say I've dated a complete cougar. The highest I've ever dated was a woman the age of 30. However, this should be fundamentally suitable for all sorts of cases involving older women trying to catch a younger male.

      For one, you already have the advantage that a lot of girls don't: you have the personality we are seeking. You probably already know how to manage your financial lives, so we are already hooked from the beginning. It's thrilling, and it feels bad ass. It's not that guys are in it for the fun, no. Well, I know there are some guys that are, but it gets deeper than that. We stick around in order to see what comes out of it, especially out of curiosity.

      We become so intrigued by the fact that an older woman finds us physically attractive and beast as heck. It's an amazing compliment, and if you are blessed with the chance to have us turn our heads towards you, you should do whatever you can in order to understand what is keeping us attracted to you because I know, for one, that the last woman I dated that was older than me didn't know.

      She pushed me away because she was being ridiculous with her standards, for one. You never want to pressure a younger guy into what he isn't comfortable with. We are still trying to figure out our own lives and what we are trying to do, so the best thing to do is offer a younger male his own personal space. If you can do that, you are guaranteed to keep him around.

    • GARH608 profile image

      Pathways thru life 

      14 months ago from Mid West

      There is a younger man that I am very attracted to. The youngest that I have ever considered to be in a relationship with. I have seen him at work, and by far, a team leader. I just do not know how to approach him?! I have seen many signs that he is interested to. My hope is that he is into a relationship, and not just the other things that are in your hub. It certainly gave me food for thought. Thanks.


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