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What to do When Your Husband Cheats

Updated on February 24, 2013

Tell Tell Signs of a Cheating Husband

Every now and then you pick fights with your husband who was previously a very understanding man but now a totally changed man. Therefore it is high time you get to know what is really up with him.

Most cheating husbands will want to quarrel with you so that they had an excuse to storm out from the house. The truth is once outside the house, they can go out to meet their lovers. Some even will go out late at night claiming that they have to meet up with friends which in this case is the lover.

Another thing you can note in a cheating husband is that he will be really over protective when you want to use his phone. They want to cover up the secret calls they make to their lovers. Some will even start being nice to you. Nice meaning more than normal. In most cases they do this because of guilt and they feel that what they are doing is not right but they cannot stop.

What To Do When Your Spouse Cheats: Take Practical Steps To Survive (Volume 1)
What To Do When Your Spouse Cheats: Take Practical Steps To Survive (Volume 1)

The writer who is a wife and mother, has a difficult marriage and a husband who cheats on her. This book is about how she deals with it and at the same time recover from the ordeal. It is also to help people struggling to recover from their spouse's affair


What can you do when know the truth?

The above are just signs but sometimes they are not accurate. So before you confront your husband about cheating, then make sure that you have the facts. Before finally you can decide to go for a divorce, there are a couple of steps that you can go through;

1) Talk about it

After you feel that you have enough facts about the affair, you can now confront him and talk about it. Tell him how you are betrayed by his actions and you want him to stop it. Ask to see if you are the reason why it all started. Sometimes you may have been the driving force in the first place for the affair to begin. May be he felt like you were not giving him enough attention or you're busy with your work.

If in the event it happens that you were too much busy with your work and neglected his feelings, then it is time to cut back on your working schedule and make time for your husband.

2) About the other woman

Do not waste your time on the other woman. She is not worth your time. Also calling her threatening, calling names and harassing will just lead you to the wrong side of the law. In this case she will not take any orders from you about ending the affairs. The best way to deal with this is to talk directly to your husband about the issue.

Do not drag her name or refer to her whenever you have a fight with your husband. It will be more about her instead of solving the real problem between the two of you.

More Steps That You Can Take

3) Seek support/help from professionals

Most people do not have the skills on how to deal with marriage problems, so do not go to friends with your problems. Most friends will just advice based on their personal reasons. Visit a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. They are qualified to listen to every side of the story and advice you accordingly on the next step to take. Talking about the way you feel things are in the marriage will help open up things you were afraid to tell your husband.

4) Take time to reflect and heal

After establishing what is the real problem with your marriage. Take time to reflect on the next step. Although time will not heal the scars left by the affair, but it presents an opportunity for you to do the right thing with your marriage. In most cases you give your husband a second chance and change if you were the reason for the affair.

A Useful Video On The Problems of Cheating Spouse.

In Conclusion

Most women today see divorce as the only answer but they fail to understand that maybe the next man you run to will just be the same as your ex. Learn about how to deal with your marriage issues internally before making the big decision.

Especially if you have children in the marriage, think of how the children will relate to your divorce. Make your children believe that in a marriage there are challenges and you can always solve them without divorcing


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    • CZCZCZ profile image

      CZCZCZ 4 years ago from Oregon

      Good advice for such a tough and difficult thing for anyone to have to deal with.

    • ohkennyabi profile image

      ohkennyabi 5 years ago from The East

      Hey Dashingscorpio, I totally agreed with the last sentence of your comment. Why give when it is not asked?

      Sometimes we just wanted to get over this sad chapter in life quickly and offer forgiveness instantly. Well this can be a mistake.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 years ago

      This is all sound advice (assuming) the cheating husband decides (he) wants to (stay) in the marriage. It's not uncommon for a cheater to form an emotional connection with the "other" person. Sometimes they are "relieved" that it's out in the open which leads them to finally make a decision. Both the husband and wife have to want to stay together.

      Another issue which is somewhat related to your #4 the betrayed person does not (take time) to decide whether or not they can truly can forgive being cheated on. Sometimes people instantly offer forgiveness because the thought of dealing with betrayal and divorce is a combination too difficult to bare. Even if their spouse bends over backwards to reassure them and live a life with transparency it's not uncommon for the betrayed person to be unable to get past the hurt. Some have been known to end up having an affair themselves. This leads the cheater feel they were lied to when they were "forgiven".

      My point is you have to (know) yourself before you state whether or not you can truly forgive. It pays to take a couple of weeks alone to mull it over. Last but not least is you don't want to forgive someone who is not asking for forgiveness and demonstrating contrition.