ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What's More Important Than Love in a Marriage?

Updated on October 29, 2011

Marriages are falling apart all around us. Broken homes have become the norm instead of the exception. Something is wrong, how can we fix it?

The American culture has done our young people a great harm by exalting love to the primary position in marriage. What! Isn't marriage all about love? Isn't that what it is for?

I say no, and I believe the Bible agrees with me. I have never seen a verse in the Bible that tells us to marry someone we love. It does say love the one we are married to, and there is a great difference. Marrying the person you love assumes that love is involuntary, it just happens, you "fall into" it. Loving the one you are married to is a choice and an action. Feelings cannot be commanded, and love is commanded. Therefore, love is more than just a feeling.

Many cultures in the past and present arrange marriages for their children on the basis of family reputation and respectability, as well as considering their children's preferences. These arranged marriages have a much higher rate of success than those left completely up to the young person. Why? They possess an ingredient, I believe the most important ingredient, that is lacking in many others. This is the element of respect. Respect for their parents, respect for their partner, and for their partner's family. Out of this respect they perform their duties to the best of their ability, not demanding personal reward in return.

So respect is the missing ingredient in many marriages. It is the rock on which the foundation of a lasting relationship is made. Choose to marry someone you respect, and commit to that person, and love will follow. But marry someone you have loving feelings for but no respect, what love there is will die in the onslaught of life and its frustrations.

Let's teach our children that the picture of romantic love and its accidental and uncontrollable nature presented by the media is wrong and harmful. Teach our young people not "fall in love" by accident, but to choose a person of character that they will respect through the years to come. I can testify that this will produce a long and fruitful relationship in which there is unimaginable love.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • songoftruth profile imageAUTHOR

      Elizabeth Jane Robertson 

      3 years ago from Joplin, Missouri

      Trust is the result of respect.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Trust is very important without trust you don't have solid foundation in the relationship.

    • NNazir profile image

      Nauman Nazir 

      8 years ago from Pakistan

      I believe TRUST is the MOST important factor.

      The entire family system collapses & remains meaningless without Trust.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)