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What Is Your Love Language?

Updated on June 27, 2013

Do you know what your love language is? Everyone has one but a lot of people don’t know it. A few years ago, I read a book called the “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. The book was a wonderful wealth of information and insight into how people show their love for one another. Now, I know that there isn’t a book out there that is the perfect resource for building a successful relationship but this one should be at the top of the list.

If you can get an understanding of not only what your love language is but someone else’s love language you will have better relationships all around. So, I thought that I would give you a little taste of what “The Five Love Languages” is all about and if you pay close attention you may gain a little understanding not only into yourself but the ones that you love as well.

Love Language #1:

Words of Affirmation – Basically, a word of affirmation in the simplest terms is a compliment. Have you ever met a person that seems to always be saying good things about other people? Often times they will be the ones that go up to the soloist at a concert and tell them how much they appreciated the beauty of their voice as they sang. They are always saying nice things about other people. At times, it may even seem a little over the top … you can pretty much bet the bank that this person’s love language is Words of Affirmation. If you are married to this person, a well timed, “I think that you are the most wonderful ____________.” will make you the cream of the crop in this person’s eyes. They will feel appreciated and that they are loved.

Love Language #2:

Quality Time – The person whose love language is quality time is the one that is always planning things with other people. They like being with those that they love and enjoy spending time just being together. Often you will find that they are the ones that are asking you what you are doing and would you like to get together. This person enjoys being with other people. When you offer to spend time with a person whose love language is quality time they are overjoyed at the thought that you value them enough to take time with them. They think of time as valuable and a gift when given. If you don’t plan time to spend with this person, they will feel that you don’t care about them or love them.

Love Language #3:

Receiving Gifts – This love language is one that is easily recognizable … this person loves to give you things. They may spend hours looking for the perfect gift for you especially if they love you. You will find that they pay attention to what you like so that they can buy something that you really appreciate and enjoy. They love to give and they look for every opportunity to do so … This person really appreciates it when you give them a gift usually it doesn’t matter what it might be … they get excited at the thought that you cared enough and thought enough to get them something. If you are married to a person whose love language is receiving gifts then if you miss a birthday, holiday or God forbid anniversary you can count on them being extremely hurt and resentful.

Love Language #4:

Acts of Service – This love language is demonstrated through service. The person who operates in this is the one that you see doing the dishes or helping when everyone else is sitting down. They may offer to come over and clean your house if you are sick or do your laundry. You will find this person going out of their way to help you if you are in need. Often they will think about ways to help another person that no one else may think about because they like to serve. This person may be the one that asks you to help or do things for them. The signature of this language is they love to serve but if you aren’t serving them in return they feel neglected and unloved.

Love Language #5:

Physical Touch – This love language is probably the most popularly exemplified in the form of physical intimacy. It can take the form of a hug, a kiss, hand holding or yes … you guessed it... sexual intimacy. Have you ever met someone that is always hugging people? They greet everyone with a hug even people they may not know. The person whose love language is physical touch is always touching you in some way. They enjoy snuggling on the couch, holding hands, dancing, kissing, etc … If you know someone whose language is physical touch, step it up in these areas and they will be assured that you truly care about them.

Well, there you have it. “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is an excellent book that will teach you the details of successfully implementing these languages into your relationships and making them better. This particular version is geared toward marriages but you can utilize the basic information contained in it to enhance any relationship. Gary Chapman also has one for children called, “The Five Love Languages of Children” and then there is the one for singles appropriately called … you guessed it “The Five Love Languages for Singles.”

Learning your love language or the one of someone that you care deeply for will not only help you become a better mother, father, sister, brother, wife, husband and friend but it will give you a deeper understanding of who you are. Why is it that you like to see another person’s face light up at a compliment? Why you are the one that helps when everyone else may be sitting down? Why do you love it when you get a bouquet of flowers? Why a hug sends you to the moon? Why you are happy just because you are with that person?

Learn it! Utilize it! Watch your life and relationships gain a depth that is ... beautiful.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (New International Version)

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


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    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 5 years ago

      Thank you, Joel! I too wished that more people knew this information.

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      joel bako 5 years ago

      i wish that all men will know this before getting married the would have not encounter any problem so my fellow brothers and sister let us know our love language and our love ones so that we will enjoy happy marriage amen

    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 5 years ago

      Hi Jason, thank you for your comment. Nothing wrong with your comment ...I would agree accept that I wish men were more aware of these things and that both sexes would implement the information in their relationships. God Bless and Keep You!

    • profile image

      Jason Todd 5 years ago

      I wish more women were as "awake" about these things as some of us. I apologize if I sound like a jerk. Just trying to help make this planet a better place, one day at a time.

    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 5 years ago

      Thank you for your comments, Ladi! God Bless!

    • profile image

      Ladi 5 years ago

      inspiring n revealing. Nice one

    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 5 years ago

      Thank you Buma! Your comments are so very kind! God Bless!

    • profile image

      Buma kingsley 5 years ago

      I just like your work: i have learn something new reading your book

    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 6 years ago

      Thank you, Stages of ME! It is one of my favorites as well. Communicating our love so that it can received.

    • The Stages Of ME profile image

      The Stages Of ME 6 years ago

      Very nice review ~ one of my favorite topics Have a blessed day:)

    • lanealanea profile image

      lanealanea 7 years ago from Orange County, California

      I like your hub!

    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 7 years ago

      Hi Woman of Courage! Thank you! I so appreciate your comments. God Bless!

    • profile image

      Woman Of Courage 7 years ago

      Hi Precious Pearl, I love Gary Chapman's books and teachings. I also receive his newsletters. Thanks for sharing a beautiful hub. God bless you!

    • eirenejoy1 profile image

      eirenejoy1 7 years ago from ghana west africa


    • Precious Pearl profile image

      Precious Pearl 8 years ago

      Thanks, Hope!

    • Hope Wilbanks profile image

      Hope Wilbanks 8 years ago from Louisiana

      This is a really nice, in-depth look at love. Good job!