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Why You Should Give a Second Chance!

Updated on August 16, 2017
pen promulgates profile image

Imran is an anthropologist, communications manager, and trainer who coaches people in self-improvement.

Second Thought Enriches the Experience

How often do you give a second chance after forming the first impression on any subject, topic, or situation?

I gave my once finalized decision a fresh start. Doing that has certainly enriched my experience. It has made me optimistic.

When reconsideration could make a big difference, I can't help but wonder, what would happen when we all start giving second chances to our situations?

Life and people endow us with opportunities more than once. Why should we undervalue the success hidden in trying a task twice?

This article gives you valuable insight. After reading it, you may want to consider rethinking some of your arrogant decisions.

Real time examples

I have two examples to prove my point.

I have been spending much time in reading lately.
I have learned when reading is continuous, It makes us profoundly voracious. Reading one novel after another raises our expectation.
Each novel must perform better than the previous one. I know that's somewhat strict. But expectation can get as indefinite as reading can get compelling.

After finishing mind-boggling novels by Sidney Sheldon (that I read twice), I picked up a storybook by another author. It was the novel 'Disclosure' by Michael Crichton. When I read the synopsis, I thought I would Iike it. Thus, I began reading. I finished few pages - a considerable amount, but it couldn't hold my interest. I, therefore, formed an opinion 'it was not good.'

Disappointed, I lay my hands on other novels.
I picked up the best sellers. They promise substance and have an assurance from the experts too.

'The Girl On The Train' by Paula Hawkins was the second one I chose. I read a little and found it no different.

I then selected murder mystery 'The last kiss' by Louise Phillips. I felt the same as before. I put the novel aside.

Next came the turn of romance novel Rush (Breathless 1) by Maya Banks. Boring to death. I didn't care to end it.
None of them could hold my interest.

Something was wrong. Or, was I not choosing the right options? I now think, 'Maybe I was not in the right frame of mind!' Or, had I been searching Sidney Sheldon in them?

If that's true, I was doing injustice to others.
The only reason I picked up the other authors was to see their style, ability, and magic in the first place.

I shut close all of them and decided to take a break. I thought that would help.

Few days had passed. Believing that to be sufficient, I started reading again. But this time I didn't go by my first impression. I chose to give a second chance.

I decided, why not continue with the partly read ones? Maybe it would work the second time. So I started reworking the novel 'Disclosure' from where I had left.

After finishing few pages, surprisingly, I found myself genuinely intrigued. When I completed reading 'Disclosure,' I had not only liked it, but had also learned valuable nonfictional knowledge on 'Sexual Harassment Policy' and how people misuse it at work.

The second impression opened my mind for good. Besides, it gave the way to finish another of the pending half-read novels. That's my second example.

Not letting myself to judge, I psyched myself up for the novel 'The Girl on The Train' that I had found uncompelling earlier.

Like Disclosure, 'The Girl On The Train' kept my involvement intact till the end. The second opinion I evidently established killed the prejudice formed earlier.

Teaching me not to make the same mistakes, both the authors enriched my experience and changed it for good.

That's how overwhelming the second impression can be!

Useful Tips On Second Impression

Impression, when given a second chance might surprise with wonders or secure with evidence.

My experience has changed my way of thinking. It has taught me never to make judgment Idly.

These are few pointers I can share with you.

1) A calm mindset is necessary

If you aren't calm, you can't think properly. Your thinking forms a biased perception and gets interjected by events that carry force. When I kept switching frantically from one novel to another, my mindset had been preoccupied. That obstructed my thinking much.
As I could not find the right match, it only made me fuzzier. As a result, the available options were misjudged. But when my mind was at ease, it could see how poorly I had judged. Calm mind not only clears prejudice but also builds goodwill. To make the logical decision on an important matter, see to it that you remain composed. If for some reason you had quickly jumped to the conclusion earlier, think again calmly when your mind is at ease. That's how you can correct the error of judgment. Besides, when you think twice, you are unmistakably confident.

2) Do not prejudge
Imagination can be fantastic as it can be unpleasant. Do not already define what you are about to experience. If you have already framed a picture of someone/something, you will only get disappointed when It fails to fit your understanding of it. I prejudged those novels and declared them boring from the initial few pages. If I hadn't change my mind later, I would have continued believing that they are unworthy.
Additionally, when you forejudge a little too early, you block the merits the person/thing possesses. In my case, I wouldn't have learned about the fantastic plots of the novels. From the novel 'Disclosure' I wouldn't have acquired details on 'Sexual Harassment policy' and the misuses of it. I wouldn't have learned about the secrets that unfolded, and the murder that perpetrated in 'The Girl On The Train.'
Being dismissive in the beginning can dismiss the underlying merit pending to transpire.

3) Do not assume
Another mistake I did was, I assumed the miracles of Sidney Sheldon's work to continue in the novels written by other authors. Characteristics are unique to all. Meritorious too. Assumptions only describe them who they are not. As a result, it deludes the entire experience. It's comfortable to be around like-minded people. We prefer to be in the surrounding of similar situations and pleasant things. What needs to flash our memory is, 'no two individuals are the same.' Not all are similar. People are unique in their way, and so are situations and things. Assumptions must not overpower the reality.

4) Take a break
When I forced a break on me, I actually helped myself to get out of the negative situation.
As it was getting frustrating to like novels, in a way, it was drifting me apart. It could have badly stained my liking for reading. The break I took refreshed my mind and everything associated. When I resumed, it was a new journey to embark. Stagnation narrows impressions. When you think the 'disinterest' is quite evident, stop thinking for a while and break out for refreshment.

5) Compare it with more boring stuff
How can you find a boring thing interesting?
'By doing a more boring act!'
When you sense a reek of prejudice, compare it with more boring topics. You will find yourselves suddenly interested. Comparison helps in this condition. If anything deviates you from focusing on a subject, compare that with other worse matters. You will be able to see where your true interest lies. When I find a particular book boring, I switch to reading subjects that lull me the most. As a result, my interest in the former activity revises. I get the clearer knowledge to make the right choice.
That's how you can intercept prejudice well.

These are a few tips I can vouch for as It comes from a real experience. I see no reason for it to not work for you. Try them out to change presumptions. I'm sure they will work wonders.

Give A Second Chance

The first Impression as the final decision is not good. It's inexperienced. It needs more exposure so as to mature well. By giving it a second thought, we can rightfully manage any issue with better understanding!

You misjudged once; You don't want to do it next. Give situations, matters, and people a second chance. They might surprise you and win your confidence. In doing so, you will also consider all subsequent acts fairly well before arriving at the conclusion.
Even the concerns of the past and that of the present will get the opportunities of revision.

So, do you make the right conclusions or preconceived notions lead you to make the wrong choice?
In the end, judgment is just a quality you have.
It can always stay under your control!

© 2017 Imran Khan


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    • pen promulgates profile imageAUTHOR

      Imran Khan 

      18 months ago from Mumbai, India

      Hey John. I'm glad you think that way. Thanks for reading my hub. Would love to take feedback from you. I am new here :)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      18 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Imran, you offer very good advice here in regard to giving a second chance to both people and things. Those books were a good example. I have tended to put a book aside if it does not capture my attention within the first chapter. Stephen King's "It" was one of those. Maybe I should give it a second chance.

      Another example is there is a woman I had only met on a few social occasions and found to be loud and opinionated. I instantly formed the impression that I didn't like her. After I had the opportunity to meet her in her own home and heard her background story my opinion changed completely. She is now a friend. Thank you for sharing these insights.


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