When Flirting Turns to Something That Leads to Growth
My Encounter With A Rapper on Twitter.
I won't name this man. If you've ever seen anything that I've tweeted to him on Twitter, you'll know who he is. Okay, so I can't exactly prove that he's the one who's paid people to enter my apartment to plant cameras and microphones. Did I mention that he hacked into my phone also? We tweeted back and forth with each other for about a month. I admit that i sent way more tweets than he did. I was attracted to him. It was his intellect. That made him sexy all over to me. Anyway, we made each other laugh a few times and angry as well. I could blame this on the fact that he doesn't get my sarcasm and he underestimated my crush on him. I could also blame it on his ego because we all know that important men with money and power will dare not be made to look foolish in front of their friends. I think I read somewhere that his zodiac sign also hates being embarrassed in front of friends or colleagues. I guess I should learn how to flirt like other women but I can't because I'm not like other women. I'm an individual.
I also believe that he did these things because he's a vengeful person. I'm not saying these things to down him or to paint a bad picture of him. You will draw your own conclusions. Can we even judge one another anyway? I admit that I was angry at him for luring me out of my home for a job interview only to have someone come in to plant what he needed to watch me and to show my everyday habits and broadcast my thoughts to the rest of the world or at least whomever would watch or listen. Then I thought about how much effort and money this must've taken for him to do these things to me. Whey wasn't it easy for him to ignore me? At first I was very angry at him and if you watch the videos, you will see that I had something very bad to say about him almost every moment of every day. I cried some but it came out mostly in anger. I coudln't believe that this was happening to me. I admit that I wasn't looking to become famous or infamous. Honestly, I was drawn to him by desire and some other forces that I won't even name at this time.
I've decided finally to let things unfold as they are. Is a crime being committed against me? I would say yes. Have I tried to report it? Yes. The cops didn't take it seriously. Maybe he paid them as well. I could only begin to believe that this man was more powerful than I had thought at first. Perhaps he wanted to own me in a sense and to make money off of showing my image. I admit that there are times when I look at the situation and see that I'm in charge of so much that's going on. When I say that, I mean that there is growth happening inside of me that may never have happened before this sort of hijacking of my image or even my life. Not that he's taken my life. I have not sold my soul or any dumb thing like that. He's only thought that he could destroy me with what he's done. One of the things I hate the most about this is how much he underestimated me. How much he didn't see the potential strength inside of me. Did he see it? Did he feel he had to "throw me to the wolves" because I wan't evolved enough for him? When I say for him, I don't mean in a romantic way. I guess I mean just for conversation. I understand when people are famous and they have to maintain some form of privacy because of their image. I get it. Even in one of the times that he got angry at me and told me that he no longer wanted to talk, he called me right back to him. I went back.
He can't be angry at me for naming him as the one who has done this if he's the one who did it. I'm in no way snitching on him. I wasn't involved in a crime with him and I turned on him. This is something he did without my permission. Let's think about that for a moment. How could he allow himself to become so angry by a stranger that he would do this? Wouldn't it mean that I owned a part of his anger? I don't know. It's possible. I get a big kick out of the fact that he has lost this war. I'm still here and still standing as he would say. He can and probably will show every person that I work with from here on out everything I do in my home. He's already done this. Every quirky and unusual thing. Every time I leave dishes in the sink or if I choose to relieve myself in the restroom. Yes, everything. It's possible that he's shown people in my family or even my parents. He has no idea that I don't really care. This is my life now. Whomever disapproves of this is someone that disapproves. Period. I don't let other people tell me how I should live. I'm too independent for that. It's as simple as that. I don't have to live my life for anyone else but me. It's not even like I had many strong connections in my family if any to begin with. You know how it is. You speak with your family every day but there's no real substance to the conversations. Everything is on the surface and swept under the rug. There is very little healing or true relationships. I do love my family very much. I'm not saying here that I don't.
In conclusion to this, I only want to say that I am moving forward. I'm going to use this situation to my advantage. No, it's not the way I expected to get my writing out there. It's not the way I thought I would be recognized for my stories. I never expected to be famous and I still don't consider myself to be. I do know that when I go places, some people try very hard to get my attention whether it's to suck up to me or to try to make me feel bad about myself in some way. I have to say that some people are simply being nice but at this time, I can trust no one else to enter my life. I rise above the negative things. I have too many things to do and I've been given the opportunity to do them and on a pretty large scale. I have so much to do with my life and I must move on towards my purpose. There are some things that I can't reveal. I can't share my inner methods of being strong. You can't share certain things with the enemy. Anyway, I am using my energy towards my work and not towards any revenge or anything like that with anyone whose perception of me causes them to hate or despise me. I'm on this road and I can't wait to see where it leads. I do know that I will fulfill my purpose always developing and thanking God.
Bridget S. Martin
Until next time...