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When It Is The Last Time

Updated on June 19, 2019

At some point in everyone's life journey, there is some sort of event, a person you love or family member, a negative experience, that is experienced. During the actual event, you might not realize that it will be the last time ever, or, you might sense that as it happens, leaving you sad or happy inside.

Its knowing it IS the last time that produces it. When a loved one is sick and in hospice care, the heaviness of those moments linger every time you talk, touch, hug, even though the expected outcome is known. Then, there is that ONE last moment, those last few seconds or minutes just before finality. It's in the back of one's mind, all those years of memories, and it comes down to when it IS the last time. It's hard to fathom any true end even though it is something expected and obvious. The loss is hard to accept to whatever event will be the Last Time.

Dealing with loss from unexpected events can easily send one into depression, despair, and worse. But loss from more expected sources of outcomes is no less easier to handle. For instance, all parents at some point will have to let go of there kids as they become adults. This begins in high school and it only gets worse in college and beyond. As they enter college and move away, even though the parents know this will happen, internally, it is hard to let go. To compensate, many will try to organize events with them knowing it could be that Last Time it might happen because of life. As the child becomes an adult, they are more on equal grounds with parents, have their own preferences that probably will not include mom and dad much of the time. As a parent myself, it is hard to let go and when we all get together, in the back of mind, I wonder will this be the Last Time? Knowing college offers so many other opportunities for new friends and career choices once they are done. After the event and they are gone back to their lives, it is hard not to be sad to some extent because what if that was the Last Time? Of course, the adult kids may not think this at all, because mom and dad will always be around for emergencies. Parents live forever, they think, LOL. They are looking toward their life with adventure and new horizons that may take them far away. The parents are looking backward, thinking where did the time go?

The same can be said with a divorce. Usually, the parties know all the early warnings signs but choose to ignore them in hopes it will get better. Yet, when it does not, the signs remain until one side has had enough and announces the D word. Even though it was expected, the D word shocks the system for a variety of reasons especially when kids are involved. Usually, before the D word is dropped, there is always one Last Time. Something that finally "breaks the camel's back". It most likely be something simple that has happened many times before, or maybe someone has just reached the end of tolerance that love does produce. In any case, there is that Last Time, and intuitively, both parties sense this before the real parting.

The Last Time event usually does not produce joy or happiness, although, it can. It usually creates a remorse, sadness, that lingers on and on and may never go away very much because the event was, indeed, the final Last Time.


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    • perrya profile imageAUTHOR

      perrya 

      2 years ago

      Great words Dashing, food for thought and your right. I recall when I was 20, I tried to envision what I would be like at 30 and just drew a blank.

    • perrya profile imageAUTHOR

      perrya 

      2 years ago

      True! but some sadness may linger

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      One final comment.

      Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.

      Every ending is a new beginning!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      "It's hard to fathom any true end even though it is something expected and obvious. "

      Maybe it is human nature to live in the "right now".

      This is especially true the younger we are. A 14 year old can't imagine driving a car and that may only be two years away. A 16 year old can't imagine himself walking around a beautiful college campus and that too may only be two years away. Whatever they are dealing with "right now" is all that matters to them.

      They believe their (first love) is going to be their (last love) or God forbid, they are going to die a virgin!

      Simply put they can't see the forest for the trees. With age and life experience comes wisdom. We learn to put things in perspective.

      We all know with the arrival of each new day we are also one day closer to seeing our final sunset. And yet many of us live our lives as if we have a 1000 years to go.

      A midlife awakening or crisis causes us to create a "bucket list".

      The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. - Anonymous

      If you are depressed you are living the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. – Lao Tzu

      Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow, it empties today of strength. – Corrie Ten Boom

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