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How to Save My Marriage and Stay Together

Updated on May 13, 2018
janshares profile image

As a nationally certified and licensed professional counselor, Janis helps her clients resolve relationship conflicts and trust issues.

Saving a Marriage Involves Decision-Making and Renewed Trust

Couples need to communicate as they weigh the pros and cons of saving their marriage. Most importantly, they question their ability to trust again.
Couples need to communicate as they weigh the pros and cons of saving their marriage. Most importantly, they question their ability to trust again. | Source

Broken Marriages Don't Have To End

There is nothing sadder than the end of a marriage. No one goes into the sacred promise of "til death do we part" with the anticipation that it won't last forever. From a spiritual perspective, the vow was intended to "cement" a commitment which is meant to be eternal.

Two people join together as a couple, choosing to build a life together based on shared hopes and dreams. Excitement and anticipation go hand in hand as they come together as one.

Investing in a home, starting a family, and enjoying the fruit of their labors together encompass the ideal of marital expectations.

  • The realization of the end of a union, blessed by God and witnessed by friends and family, can be one of the most devastating losses two people can experience. It is one of the most difficult losses for a couple to bear on so many levels.

The poem below details the emotional and painful impact of saying goodbye to a marriage gone wrong.

Poem About a Marriage Ending


"Love's End "


After all the love we shared,

Surviving pain and sorrow,

We never expected the end to come,

Unveiling our shattered tomorrows.


Opening up our souls and hearts,

We learned to trust and feel,

Sharing our deepest secrets,

Our true selves we slowly revealed.


Our connection was so bonded,

As snug as two peas in a pod,

Nothing could come between us,

A union blessed by God.


But something tragic happened,

Never did we expect,

That something that felt so right,

Could crumble like a car wreck.


The trust that we so cherished,

As sound as it had been,

Broke into several pieces,

A challenge we couldn't win.


Eternal love we thought we had,

Ours could never fail,

Laughing, crying, hugging, and sighing,

Like a fairy tale.


But as the harsh reality,

Hits us like a storm,

Our sad eyes tell the story,

As tears began to form.


As painful as it has become,

Love sometimes has to end,

I bid you, "Peace and farewell,

My lover and my friend.


(JLE 2006)

Before Deciding to End Your Troubled Marriage

The poem implies that a sacred trust was broken, ending the marital bliss.

  • Broken trust is probably the most difficult fault to forgive and heal from in a relationship.

If it comes in the form of infidelity, the odds are even greater that the couple can't heal from the hurt and betrayal.

However, in my experience, there are couples who do heal and choose to rebuild new trust. The following are factors that couples consider when deciding to rebuild:

  • Being human is a prerequisite for falling from grace and making the most egregious mistakes that harm marriages.
  • Human beings, in all their woundedness, have the capacity to fall short and hurt the ones they proclaim to love the most, without ill intent.
  • Tumbling off of the pedestal of perfection can happen to the best of us.
  • The emotional, financial, and career investments made in each other are worth saving.
  • Despite shattered ideals and expectations, new goals can be established and rules of the marriage can be reset.
  • Renewing the marriage vows can offer a fresh start through spiritual cleansing.

Before making the decision to end your relationship based on broken trust, take a moment to weigh the pros and cons. It may, for some, end up being the right decision. As the poem says: "Love sometimes has to end."

Or maybe not. Take some time to step back and re-evaluate your situation before making a "heat of the moment" decision that could very well impact the rest of your life. The investment you made in your marriage deserves a closer look before ending it sadly, only to have regrets later.

Staying Together to Save Your Marriage

If there's still hope, take the time to re-commit, work it out and return to that marital bliss you once possessed.
If there's still hope, take the time to re-commit, work it out and return to that marital bliss you once possessed. | Source

Infidelity: The Reality of Broken Trust

A Marriage Worth Saving

Is my marriage worth saving?

See results

© 2012 Janis Leslie Evans

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    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 3 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you kindly.

    • trusouldj profile image

      trusouldj 3 years ago from Indiana

      Very nice.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      I appreciate your comment, williamlowry. I do feel the same. My objective for couples is always to try to save it first. Thanks for visiting, bless you and your marriage.

    • williamlowry profile image

      William Lowry 4 years ago

      I believe that marriage shouldn't be ended. Since day 1, the both of us decided to stay together, we should both work on it till the end of our life. I like your hub so much!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      Glad you liked it, Ebonny. Thank you so much for stopping by. Thanks for the follow and fanmail, too.

    • Ebonny profile image

      Ebonny 5 years ago from UK

      There is so much food for thought in your writing. Loved the poem. Thanks for sharing.

      Voted up etc.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thank you so much for your comment, Kristen. I appreciate your taking the time to stop by and relate to the poem. You've made my day :-)

    • KristenN4Boys profile image

      KristenN4Boys 5 years ago from North Carolina

      As a divorcee' (I hate that word), I can most definitely relate to the words and emotion of your poem. It hit close to home for me. Voted up, great work!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, Rajan. I have counseled many couples and pulled from their pain during sessions to write this poem. I agree, marriage is sacred and should stand the test of time. I am lucky and blessed to be married happily for 17 years.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Beautiful poem but exposes a sad reality of life. I wish marriages made in heaven and solemnised on Earth survive the test of time. A broken marriage hurts real deep, Janis.

      Voted up, beautiful.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, Kate. I had to edit this hub while maintaining the integrity of the poem; glad the text improved it.

    • Kate Mc Bride profile image

      Kate McBride 5 years ago from Donegal Ireland

      The poem is lovely but sad at the same time.It is great you gave some hope in the positive end to the hub.Thanks for sharing this :-)

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks, improvements accomplished with your help. I appreciate the support.

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

      You've worked hard on this. It looks good!

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      Thanks a bunch, will do.

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      See comment :-)

    • janshares profile image
      Author

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      OMG!!!!! My first comment! Thank you so much, rcrumple. Your feedback means a lot. Yes it is sad a poem. As a therapist, I take my client's experience and write a poem about it. I sometimes use it as part of therapy. I've counseled many couples, unfortunately, on this topic. By the way, married happily for 16 years. I'm grateful for you comments and support.

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

      Jan -

      Welcome to Hubpages! Beautiful, but very sad poem. Luckily, I've been married 32 years and never gone through it. You've got great potential. Keep them coming! Up & Beautiful & Shared!

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