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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
When Men Appreciate Their Wives It Adds Sparks to The Marriage
Appreciating Your Mate
One of the great marriage verses of Scripture is found in Genesis 2:24, which reads, “A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” As a husband, a man becomes the subject of other’s expectations and will be expected to do things differently than he did as a bachelor. When children are born, others automatically assume he is the father, and his responsibilities and obligations to his children will begin immediately. As a husband and as a father he is equally treated differently.
Married people are healthier than unmarried ones is a general belief. On a wide range of indicators of psychological well-being, married people generally fare better. After all, divorce and widowhood are both very distressing events. A woman wants to feel that she is in safe hands, physically, emotionally, and materially secure. Women want men who can come up and take charge of situation.
Every woman wants to feel special one in a million. Make her feel appreciated and supported. It does not mean you won’t argue with her or that you have to obey her every wish. When the wife can trust her husband and knows that they are both moving in the same direction, she can open up and give her husband her affection unrestrainedly. Your wife will be more willing to go along with your dreams, plans, and thoughts if she can depend on and trust you because you are open, honest and loving.
Make her feel alive. A woman wants a man that make her laugh, scream with joy, run, jump and play like a little girl, and make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Make her feel wanted and loved. It is about letting her know what she means to you. Show her love. Surprise your wife with a vacation to a place she loves. Make all the arrangements. Just tell her what kind of clothes to take and what time to be ready. It doesn’t have to be an expensive one. That you thought about taking her somewhere out of the ordinary day places will be appreciated. Give her gifts on her birthday, your marriage anniversary and other important occasions in your lives. Some husbands can’t even remember their wives’ birthdays.
Treat your wife with respect. Respect is denoted by kindness and reverence that we show toward another person. It means we hold someone in high esteem. Respecting your wife doesn’t mean you worship her.
When you honestly communicate with your wife, she has security and confidence in you. Sheryl P. Kurland wrote, “Your partner is not a mind reader. Say what’s on your mind.” There are many reasons for communication breakdown between couples. Have your wife made any of the following comment/s?
- I am afraid you will laugh at me.
- I know you won’t listen to me.
- I know my opinion doesn’t matter to you.
- I am afraid of your reaction.
- I talk so much that you stop listening.
- I know you will correct me or prove me wrong.
- I get too depressed to talk sometimes.
- I get angry too easily when we talk.
- I don’t like it when you interrupt me.
- I am afraid we won’t agree.
- I am afraid you will make fun of me or my ideas.
- I always feel defensive when we talk.
If you want to prevent communication breakdown in your marriage, you will have to identify the problem/s and plan how to overcome it/them.
Provide the security she needs. Vaclav Havel wrote, “The real test of a man is not when he plays the role that he wants for himself, but when he plays the role destiny has for him.” A woman needs a man who will be able to support her and her children. A husband’s inability to provide the basic needs of his wife can cause marital disharmony.
. Every woman comes into marriage with differing expectations on what standard of living will be adequate depending on her childhood experience. The normative expectation for a married man is that he must provide for his wife and children. This means that wives and children are dependents. But it is no longer true that husbands are expected to do all the providing. That task is now partly shared, and, undoubtedly, provider roles will continue to expand among wives
Unfortunately, many today’s couples set a standard of living far higher than they are able to maintain on the family income. A couple must decide if the wife is to be a homemaker, a career woman, or a combination of both. Contemporary women feel they must work outside the home if they are going to have relevance so the number of stay-at-home wives is on the decline. Each family is unique when it comes to this area of married life.
Most often, career women want their husbands to earn enough money to allow them to feel supported and to feel their husbands are taking care of them and their families’ financial requirements. Most men want to and need to provide for their families to earn respect.
“Like an infectious disease, the negative emotions of one family member can have lasting effects on the mental and physical health of the rest of a family,” (Source: “Secondhand Emotions: Catching a Bad Mood” Swedish.org). Therefore the emotional stability of your wife is very important. A wife’s emotional stability is straightened when she can trust her husband’s words. As a man of good character, your wife will become secure.
Let her know you are on the same team. A woman desires to have her husband come alongside her and take the leadership role in developing a good family. As a husband, you should help your wife feel loved when she sees you committed to the family. A father’s influence on his children –both daughters and sons is great. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” When a husband is committed in this task, the wife rejoices and feels loved and equally gets committed to the family. Husbands are more involved in parenting today because of working wives, unlike in the past when men go to work and women stay at home and do all the bringing up of the child.
If you don’t take time to listen to your wife and children and care for them now, you will be forced to spend time picking up the pieces of the insecure lives later. It is easy to sit back and let your wife do all the work, but she feels really loved when she knows that you too are committed to the survival of your family.
Therefore appreciating your wife will prove to be profitable and will bring lasting assets to your marriage. Honor her as your wife and the mother of your children (if you have any) for a blissful marriage.